[Raven1976]

I had flashbacks starting in May of last year of sexual abuse by my dad. I since then have dismissed them as being my imagination. I dont really want to go into a debate about people not making those things up. I can't believe them and no amount of convincing can tell me otherwise. The thing I'm still struggling with is things have changed since then. He used to be my best friend. We used to joke and laugh and he made me laugh harder than anyone on the planet. Now when I have to talk to him or see him I shut down. When I talk to him my eyes even feel different. I dont know how to describe what they feel like. It's like my emotions go flat and my eyes feel weird. Is that totally insane?

[Bill3]

It does not sound insane to me. It sounds like these flashbacks (whether true or not) have made you subconsciously wary of him, distanced you from him.

Do you have/could you have a therapist with whom you could discuss the flashbacks, and your relationship with your dad?