[Pompkinspice]

Hello all,

First post because something absolutely awful just happened to me a couple of hours ago; I was sexually assaulted.

I feel awful and I feel like I deserved it. I've dealt with depression and a history of unstable relationships, both romantic and platonic. I almost can't even accept that I was essentially raped. but a voice in my mind tells me that I wasn't and that I wanted it, or that I'm a piece of **** because I deserved it. I'm usually very open and talkative to others about issues I have, but right now I don't even want to open up or talk about it. Posting it here is the first time I'm even mentioning it, and I'm hesitant to post.

To those that have negative to no self esteem, has this happened to you before also?

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[Marie123]

No one deserves to be raped. I hope you will report this, and also get help.

[TishaBuv]

It is only your “inner critic”, a voice within you that is harsh and punishing.
Pete Walker, M.A. Psychotherapy

Similar has happened to me. I am sorry it happened to you. No one deserves to be harmed. I suggest you talk to a therapist and possibly pursue criminal charges against your assailant.

[Abusedbysister]

I was emotionally and physically abused (and sexually as well) by my sister and I always thought it was my fault and I deserved it. I felt like a loser growing up and felt quite I adequate as a boy and then a man. It went to my ahead that I deserved it. Therapy helped and I highly recommend it. It is never the victim’s fault and no one deserves to be abused. The other person was at fault and not you. I wish you strength at this time.

[Samicat]

I see that you posted a few days ago. I hope you were able to find help, perhaps through an organization for sexual assault victims. If you didn't, it is never too late to reach out to such an organization. I worked at a rape crisis centre and we had women calling us years after the rape or assault. There are groups for survivors. I really hope you will find help