This emotional abuse tactic

Has it ever been done to you? Do you see a pattern of it? Here's how it happens.

Step 1: Order me to go do something before I've had the chance to do it of my own accord. (Example, telling me to wash the dishes before the meal is even over, and everybody is still eating.) Remind me daily to do things that I DON'T have a history of forgetting to do. (Example, telling me not to forget to take medicine that it's not time for yet, and I haven't been forgetting to take.)

Step 2: Tell me exactly HOW to do something, step by step, not because there is anything wrong with my chosen method, but if it differs from yours, it's wrong. Bonus points for not even waiting to see what my chosen method is before jumping in to make sure I'm doing it "right."

Step 3: Despite steps 1 and 2 being completely unnecessary, then going around complaining loudly to me AND to everyone else that I have to be told every move to make, I'd never know to do XYZ unless you stayed on top of me, I'd forget my head if it weren't attached, and other such criticisms.

Sound familiar to you?

I got this kind of treatment from both my mother and my ex-husband, and to some extent from my now and forever husband, although that's improved. He used to call me awake for appointments, five or ten minutes before my alarm would have gone off, without trusting that I knew enough to set an alarm. That finally changed, but not easily.

Sometimes it makes me wonder if people just think I'm stupid. Or are they just THAT desperate to feel needed and/or superior?

And does this particular tactic have a name?

It sounds to me like they all feel inferior to you. It's like cats' "mounting behavior", trying to show who's boss.

But was it ever really in dispute? Of course not. They show you that by their words and actions.

Italians call that "burning [the other person's] balls". I mean, they actually have a precise way of telling the other person to stop annoying them in that petty fashion. So you KNOW they make a habit of doing it and feel self-righteous in doing so. Like some weird machismo.

Part of what you talk about is being given step-by-step instructions, which is a form of gaslighting someone. As a Veteran of the army, I have been on this battlefield many times with my

mum's half-siblings are here in the States. It is defined by several different aspects that go from severe to just as annoying as someone tailgating you every time you drive. In the most severe

form. The most severe is when someone tries to make a person feel as if they are mentally ill when they are not, and it can lead to violence. This is a different kind. The angle is just a bit different

as they treat you as if you are a blind, deaf, and dumb person. In the guise of helping you, you are perfectly capable. This is. It's not as severe of a form of it, but it is right annoying.

I will give you an example of what was happening to me like this as an example. Before I expelled them, I changed locks and got a restraining order. I had an 83-year-old half-sister of my mums

who would just enter my home to feed my three dogs, supposedly? I have owned and cared for them for many years. She became very intrusive with it. I am the only 53-year-old man I know

that if there was a change about something complex, like applying their fleet and tick control collars, she would write out elaborate instructions in a list form for me to follow. My being sick

does not cancel out the fact that I hold two advanced degrees. I could only use one drawer in my refrigerator, in my house! The rest was for her to organize and take care of me

and my poor neglected dogs. Does the picture of my Chihuahua, who is the picture edited as my signature? Any deviation and he would become extremely hostile, and she has told me

some awful things. This crossed the line of being abusive, and both members of my trauma team and the judge agreed. I taped her on an iPad doing this, and she was sent for an evaluation.

That the pattern they are following is not as severe as what I was experiencing, but it is the same thing. People treat you as if you are completely incapable when, in fact, you would do just

fine without them. If you are perfectly capable of doing something, but someone constantly tells you, you are too dumb or incapable of doing it. That is what it is. I am sorry this is happening

. Restraining orders and electronic locks. These allowed me to reclaim my refrigerator. I may be sick, but I can handle caring for three small dogs. Why do people do this crap? I don't know;

you have to consult a different type of doctor on that one. I am really very sorry they are doing this to you or have in the past. It is atrocious behavior and disruptive to you.