Discovering a Friend is Not What They Seem

Hi, everyone. I apologize if this isn't the correct sub forum. I wasn't sure where this should go. I've mentioned before that I went through multi abuse growing up & when I was married. Which is why I've been doing work & healing. I deal with different things, including, self doubt sometimes (my late ex was big on gaslighting) & anxious attachment. I just realized over the last week or so, I'm not as far along as I'd like to be. Or where I thought I was.

A few months ago I met a new friend that I developed a very strong connection with. The type that you feel that you've known forever. You just fall into such an easy rhythm. You can talk about anything. You laugh together. You enjoy different activities together. I've come to learn & understand that their purpose for being in my life is because there's still much change & growth to be had.

It wasn't until after my late ex & I separated that I became aware that both he & my mother were narcissists. Especially as a kid it's not something I even fathomed. Having experienced that for a lot of my life you'd think I'd be able to detect it if I encounter it. Because I seem to draw that type or similar to me. Which I definitely don't want. You guessed it, this new friend has turned out to be that.

Not completely, but they mirrored me. I now know. Being genuine & kind & other good qualities people say about me. Even so, there were things that didn't sit well with me. I'm seeing them for who they truly are. Though they're not real, I believed my feelings, our experiences & the memories we were creating were. So I'm gutted.

I'm not looking for any answers. I know what I need to do & also what self care works for me. I just wanted to get this out of my own mind & emotions. I tend to be more private. But in order to get through this I felt it would be good for others to know. To hold myself more accountable & hopefully not slip back down the rabbit hole. If any of you have your own stories, you're welcome to share them.