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#1
Mar 19, 2008, 12:37 AM
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I'm very new to all this. I happened upon this site by chance. I'm looking for help - I'm broken.
I generally am very nervous about posting anything on the internet since it can always come back to bite. If any of my friends or co-workers read this, it would be devistating to my current life. Granted, I do live a very fake and shadowed life right now. So I guess being honest could be a good thing. Is it possible to not remember most of your life, and then have it come back to you in nightmares? I've been lying for so long, I don't know what the truth is anymore. I'm trying to figure it out. I have 2 memories for every moment I remember in my younger years. One that is a "leave it to beaver" memory, and one that is more horror flick. So which is real, and how can I tell the difference? |
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#2
Mar 19, 2008, 01:14 AM
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I really dont know what to say, except that in your nightmares there may be some truth. If you talk to a therapist he/she might be able to help you figure it all out. I know that dreams often tell us a lot about what we are feeling or how we view ourselves and our lives. I wish you luch and ((((hugs)))......Marie |
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#3
Mar 19, 2008, 11:16 AM
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Flutterbye. A friend of mine who's a historian likes to remind people that the events of the past are written by who's remembering them. Our emotions color past events and our mood in the current moment has as much impact as our mood at the time. So I think it's possible to have multiple experiences of the same period in our history. I suspect there were blissful Leave it to Beaver moments in your childhood AND horror movie moments. There certainly was for me and it makes it hard to categorize our lives.
In a way, it would be easier if I could say everything in my childhood was bad. That abuse was all I knew. Or, for that matter, that I had an idyllic childhood and anything negative that I remember is an unfortunate anomaly in an otherwise uninterrupted progression of happiness and love. But that's not how it was. Instead I'm left pragmatically sorting through a mixed bag of experiences, knowing that I was an abused child, a child with a loving family, a freak, and a diamond in the rough. This may or may not make any sense to you but if I had to guess, there's probably truth to both versions of your childhood. Cyran0
__________________
My blog: http://cyran0.psychcentral.net/ Dx: Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Major Depressive Disorder, PTSD (childhood physical/sexual abuse), history of drug abuse. Meds: Zoloft, Lorazapam, Coffee, Cigarettes "I may climb perhaps to no great heights, but I will climb alone." -Cyrano de Bergerac |
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