I was never really loved by you from day one. You admitted you wanted to smother me with a pillow when i was a few weeks old even though i was a good baby. You swanned off all the time and left me on my own from a very young age to go with some man or another,some best friends husband, anyone who wasn't dad basically. I was a chatty little girl and all the neighbours, family and even strangers took to me all the time. We moved to Derby and all that changed. You met a man, a pdoc/hypnotist who you went to for smoking. You ended up staying with him from when i was 8 until God knows when. He abused me, took away that chatty little girl, took away the tiny part of you that may have cared about me and left me like an empty shell.
All my life you have put me down, i was never good enough though Lord knows i tried. The worse you treated me the more i craved your love. When i was 18 i was a total insecure mess. i couldn't be left alone for fear of harming myself, took 2 overdoses, turned to drink to even give me the courage to get out of the door and scared all my boyfriends off through being clingy and insecure, they couldn't handle me and my problems. I lived with dad for a while. We lived in a tiny flat and we were always arguing. when i came to see you i'd lost so much weight and you were actually jealous!!!!!!!You treated me like crap, made my boyfriend feel extremely uncomfortable and made my life hell. You even stayed in touch with my abuser for years after you knew what he'd done.... you're probably still in touch with him.

I just want you to know mum that even though i never made you proud, i never turned to drugs, prostitution, i never hurt anyone, i never abused my kids, i could have gone in a different direction altogether but i married, had 2 amazing, talented, well balanced kids, this year i will have been married 20 years ......i have wonderful friends, and it's all no thanks to you .......

so i hope all your expensive ornaments, your 2 dogs and your only friend, the 70 year old millionair with no family will keep you from being lonely when you're old. At least he'll leave you his cottage so you'll have a roof over your head. Please don't take any credit for the way i have turned out. I did it all myself with a little help from dad. Thanks for not smothering me, this world has 2 very special individuals, it's prolly the only thing good you've ever done.


your only daughter, Kerry

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( jinny ))))))))))))))


(another only daughter with a mum who couldn't love me or show it and who allowed my primary (?) abuser in her house, was friendly to "that person" and never said a word about it to "that person" )

((((((((((((((((((fuzzy))))))))))))))))

i would like to sit with you a while if that's ok.......

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((( jinny )))))))))))))))