Past in the Past?

I was sexually molested when was 6, 9 and 11 years old. The first time was by an neighbor, the second time was by one of my mom's boyfriends and the last time was by my step dad. I did get some counseling for it thought had put it behind me. But when am sleeping do have nightmares,wake up almost in tears and shaking. I dont like an man to touch me almost makes me sick to my stomach. I just want the three men that hurt me not only physically but emotionally to hurt like I am hurting.

Sweet Angel,

I am sorry for what happened to you and for how you still suffer. I have been there. I am there. I don't like to be touched either. I understand.

I feel in your words that you are getting in touch with anger towards those who did this to you. Good. It is important for your recovery to feel this anger. It affirms your worth and helps you grieve for what you have been put through. You deserved better then, and deserve better now. Let the anger flow. It is healing.

But one thing. Don't look for an abuser to show emotional pain for what they did. It is very unlikely to happen. And you don't need to see it in order for you to heal. Don't give them the control over your healing process by waiting for them to suffer or to apologize. Not going to happen, in all likelihood.

You deserve to heal, now. Keep working through your feelings. It will get better.

Be well,

mtd