trigger







get triggered being ignored sometimes.
it's just a reminder dirt like me doesn't matter. just a reminder that I deserved what I got.
people (not referring to a particular person here or anything like that) have their friends, people they talk to in private, people to help them. people have coping skills.
I don't have that. coping skills? just like my &*@!ing dad would have wanted- alcohol, drugs, hurting myself.
alone, always alone, talk to myself in my head about things that happen that I can't talk about IRL.

tapes playing in my head, over and over again, you're worthless, you deserve this, this is normal, don't struggle, don't cry, help is weak, you're weak, you deserve to be killed, I'll always be better then you, you can't tell, you can never tell, you're never safe, I bet you like this, you know this is what should happen.

over and over and over again. I hear them. I see them. I feel them. now more @#!* happens and have to be silent, have to shut up.

am I even human? I feel like I'm just their leftovers. I don't matter, I don't. I don't see how I do- I don't. everyone would be better off.

post this then go back to pretending I'm okay, pretending nothing is wrong, that I'm fine. pretending gets real &*!$ing tiring. I'm talking to a wall and expecting it to reach out to me.

[Typo]

((((((((((Griffe)))))))))))

I am so sorry you are hurting so much, I wish I could take all your pain away for you, you DON'T deserve to hurt. You are not dirt my friend, you are a wonderful person. Keep talking here, you don't have to be quiet here, I am listening is so is everyone else. You do have diffrent coping skills, by coming here and talking you are coping in ways your dad never did.
I am here Griffe, I hear and I am listening, I am here with you.
We all care so much, Noone would be better off without you, I would miss you and so would Kate and the twins, and lots of people here would miss you.
(((((((((Griffe)))))))))))
Sending lots of hugs to you.
Silver

[Sannah]

Hi Griffe, I am so sorry that you were so hurt. You didn't deserve any of that. I am so sorry that you had to grow up around a bunch of monsters who only knew how to crush the human spirit. Griffe, you are a beautiful person who was hurt so badly. I am so sorry. You are still that beautiful person.

[Lenny]

Originally Posted by Sannah

You are still that beautiful person.

That is everything dear griffe...

The pain is only trying to hide this Truth.

Lenny

[Sannah]

Griffe, this just came to me. I got this vision of holding that little boy and rocking him and squeezing him tight. I was telling him that I am sorry for what happened but that I will always be there to comfort him and help him to feel safe now......

(((((((((((Griffe))))))))))

I'm afraid if I tried to explain to you how much of a blessing you are to your family, and how deeply the people here care about you...then I'm afraid the message would be lost in the words.

[Blue93]

I care.... ((((((hugs))))))))))

[bchlyn]

((((((((((griffe)))))))))))

[Blue93]

u can start to slowly overwrite that tape.. i know its hard.. it will take a long time... but you can do it i believe in you