[iamtwilight]

ok. i woke up and went to have breakfast and realized that dad was drunk. i thought that i would make it through by just by being quiet but then he started talking to me. about how he's going to leave all his money to me when he dies and that he's going to die sometime but not as soon as i think. and that i should think about it because i've always mistreated him.

i told him i'm not going to sit through that stuff and said i am going to leave the house. then i don't remember.... suddenly i started screaming that "you are drunk and it makes me nervous", went to my room and shut the door, but he pushed the door open though i was trying to keep it shut. he told me that i was surprisingly strong, that i had nothing to be afraid of. then he started saying "why are you afraid of v?" (v is my former best friend who turned into a drug addict and i cut her out of my life and i think she is going to beat me up if she sees me ever again) and i said i didn't know, then he asked over and over and over, started screaming, and so did i, then he took my wrists and forced me on my bed and screamed at my face "why are you afraid of v?"....

i was so afraid he was going to rape me.

he said i had never been in a situation like that so he had to show me what it was like.

BULL CRAP!

i know the psychology of abuse - i know it very well now. nobody has to go through that. even if that truly was the first time i had to go through it. haha, he went in denial after he found out that i heard him talking about what he did to me when i was a child.

pathetic creature. i hate him and i will never forgive him. he says i have to take his money when he dies because i'm not rich. heck i don't care about being rich! i don't want anything from him.

he also says he can control my life because i'm his daughter and because i'm not normal so he has to decide for me. also, my friends, this is BULL CRAP. if i truly needed someone to take care of my things, they would have fixed it at the hospital, and it would have been someone not related to me.

my boyfriend suggested me to contact the social workers... maybe i will. i want the time i have left in this house to be pleasant.

eugh.... what a start for a day. i hate this, and i hate him, i wish he was dead.

[cantstopcrying]

Originally Posted by Katie_Kaboom

he says i have to take his money when he dies because i'm not rich. heck i don't care about being rich! i don't want anything from him.

It sure sounds to me like you already are rich. There are better ways to be rich than with money. You have great smarts and a great sense of self-worth. Good for you for standing up for yourself.

[MINIME]

Yuck can u move out? Please do something. Dont accept that its not normal. Call someone get out. Please.

[iamtwilight]

(((cantstopcrying))) & (((minime)))

thanks for your support. i'm working on moving out, my boyfriend and i are frantically looking for a place to live in. i hope they can offer something for us very soon!! -crosses fingers-

[Kiya]

Katie - did you call a social worker or your T (nurse) or anyone???
I hope you are safe and that you can get out!!! Let us know, ok??
(((((((((((Katie)))))))))))
kiya

[iamtwilight]

((((kiya))))

no, i didn't. i will tell the nurse though when i get an appointment with her. i checked out the social worker thingy website but that was very confusing so i didn't call any of them. i'm going over to my boyfriend's house for the week on tuesday so i'll be safe then... dad gets drunk only on weekdays because mom is at work. ahhhhh i hope he won't get drunk on monday.

i'm also hoping i can get out soon! it's just that nowadays there are less free apartments but more applicants. crap.

[pachyderm]

(((((Katie)))))

[iamtwilight]

thanks pachyderm

[iamtwilight]

-sigh-

he's drunk again.... i know it because he went to the gas station very early.. that means he went to get some beer. and now he's on the phone talking very loud and cursing all the time.

dun wanna be here...

[multipixie9]

Sorry you have to be around this junk. Is your mom no help at all? Is there anyplace you can escape to when you know he's drunk - even like the library or someplace like the mall? I know he starts early.

GOOD FOR YOU for not caving in when he acted so awful. You are being brave. Wish I had some really great advice or help. Hang in there, you deserve MUCH BETTER.

leslie