wow i didn't want to find this.

holy crap.

i just went through the playlists on my dad's windows media player (i wanted to hear russian music) and guess what i found? yes. erotic video clips of very young ladies doing whatever... i won't go into detail.

i'm pretty disgusted. as a survivor of incest, i'm terrified. the girls are my age.

my dad turns 66 next year. ok i know he's not completely sexually dysfunctional at that age. his marriage with mom is not good. sometimes when mom goes to town she kisses him on the cheek. did i expect him not to have any interest in women anymore? but why do they have to be 40 years younger? don't mature women look beautiful? (i know there are erotic films of mature women as well) so many questions..

i'm just terrified he will rape me again one day.

thank goodness i'm moving out soon!

some might say, we will find a brighter day...

twilight

This person who violated you, was this your dad?
I can't even imagine. I'm so sorry. Do you have a hard time with relationships?

(((rhonda))) thanks.. yes, it was my dad, according to what i remember (which is not much). why yes, i have a hard time with relationships, especially with males. i even prefer my boyfriends to be the feminine/intergender type, haha how did you know? well, i guess it's obvious.

thanks for your reply,
twilight

I agree, it's good you're going to move out.

I can understand why that would be scary.. (((((((((twilight))))))))))

(((reddevil))) - thank you - for validating my feelings. i would suppose many people watch pornography and it doesn't mean a thing, but considering what has possibly happened in the past.... -shivers-

oh well. the good news is, the moving out should be happening real soon!

twilight