I am in a place where it is so hard to find others who really understand how survivors feel. But in a short time I have found more acceptance in 2 days here, than I think I have ever received from people other than my T. I have been members of others sites, but find that I am not understood well as a whole or judged severely when I show effects from PTSD from my childhood abuse.

I feel very triggered by being ignored or being told to go away, it hurts so deeply. I am very sensitive to that.

I hope this little corner becomes a great source of comfort and support that I can give and receive. That would be so awesome really. I am on my road to healing, I have a very good T who is helping me. I hope it is okay to talk about therapy too and what we are working on due to childhood abuse. For some reason I feel more comfortable talking to those who suffer from the same problems. Maybe having been victims ourselves we are more empathic to others going through the same things.

It is hard to disclose this stuff in real life friendships because of the stigma of childhood abuse. Through therapy I am opening myself up more and now have several social relationships that feel good. But it is a long way to becoming close friends, and it is hard not to share, because it feels like such a big part of who I am right now. But my T said that eventually what happened in my childhood won't be as powerful as my life as an adult, and the while I will never forgot, it won't have such a profound effect on me. In other words what I am trying to say is that my childhood abuse won't be what defines me anymore.

So I just wanted to say thanks for the warm responses from everyone, it has helped me get through a tough few days of feeling very rejected. I think I will build my house here.

[searchingmysoul]

Hugs again!!!!

It is so hard to look this stuff in the face. I am happy to hear that you are finding PC supportive and nuturing....

Originally Posted by exoticflower

I feel very triggered by being ignored or being told to go away, it hurts so deeply. I am very sensitive to that.

For some reason I feel more comfortable talking to those who suffer from the same problems.

But my T said that eventually what happened in my childhood won't be as powerful as my life as an adult, and the while I will never forgot, it won't have such a profound effect on me. In other words what I am trying to say is that my childhood abuse won't be what defines me anymore.

I can relate to these things you wrote. The validation of other's experiences is so healing...I too hope that my past experiences of being abused no longer have the power they have over me now.

Be well!
Searching

IT is such a hard thing because it is nice to know we are not alone, but then it is sad than anyone else has to endure what we do. I wish nobody had to ever suffer from abuse. Someday I am going to do something to help prevent it. I feel like it is a passion inside of me. But first I have to heal myself so I can be strong enough to handle myself first.

Can you imagine how it much feel not to have the power over us that we have held for so long? It must feel so light, that we become like a balloon rising in the air.