Why do people have to hurt others? Then they play all nicely like they didn't mean to... yeah right... Some people have others fooled that they are so nice, but then they stab you in the back. How can I ever trust anyone again? I know some people are good, but I keep running into the wrong kind of people lately that want to do nothing but hurt me. I have been hurt my entire childhood, I have had my share of it already.

[Rapunzel]

That's the worst when someone manages to convince you that they are nice, and then they hurt you. If mean people were always mean, it would be easier, because then we could always recognize them and stay away from them. Ugh.

I have to believe that there are very few people who purposely set out to hurt others. The rest might not be aware of the damage that they do, or maybe they just don't think, or they put their own wants first when they get in sticky situations.

You can protect yourself at least to some extent by being careful about who you trust and having good boundaries. But the more you trust, the more it seems to hurt if that trust is betrayed.

[Capp]

((exoticflower))
I am so sorry that you are going through this...

in Rapunzel's post, the word boundaries jumped out at me.
Sometimes we have to set boundaries and let folks earn our trust...I don't mean being suspicious of everyone. Just a wee bit careful.

please take care of yourself and let us know how you are
We care

Cap

[quote=Rapunzel;885964]That's the worst when someone manages to convince you that they are nice, and then they hurt you. If mean people were always mean, it would be easier, because then we could always recognize them and stay away from them. Ugh.

I am still learning the boundary thing, because I used to be closed off to people because of my abusive past. But now I am more open to people and I guess it makes me more vulnerable to people hurting me. The problem I am having also is that I keep trusting people who have hurt me before, then it never fails, they hurt me again. I need to leave that situation of people. I just hate how they go about so innocent, how they use their veiled insults torwards you, then they say, WHat? what did I do when you cry out foul. I have seen this behavior from my abusive mom, I would think I would see this coming ahead of time. But I fall for it everytime. I Think I need to move on...
Thanks Rapunzel, I just needed someone to listen and respond, I feel so alone now days...

[quote=Capp;886142]((exoticflower))
I am so sorry that you are going through this...


Thank you Capp. I have a favorite poet with the last name Capps!
Yeah, I need bigger boundaries now especially since I am feeling so vulnerable lately. Therapy is really hard right now, and it just seems like my heart is has only a thin layer of skin on it.

Thanks for caring, Capp, your photo makes me smile.

i

I am feeling so low tonight, I just need some company, I feel all alone even with my kids and husband just feet away from me. I see my T tomorrow, I need her right now.
Sometimes this world feels so lonely, a loneliness I have had my whole life. I think it stems from my early childhood and something I Have carried my whole life.
I feel like my brother who used to react to the taunting he received for having speech problems and glasses. But now I am doing the same thing to the a few people who were taunting me online. Nobody see's what they did, but everyone see's my reaction. Now even more people are rejecting me. I hate bullying. It is like when we were younger and when our parents weren't looking and one of us would hit the other. The other would yell out and then they would get in trouble for yelling out while the one who hit us gets away with it. Then the "good" kid goes around and flaunts it in your face. Some people just are so mean.

This Elton John song expresses how I feel now.

It's getting dark in here
Don't want to leave
Shadow's falling
And I believe
Winds picking up
Thing's so unclear
I'm afraid of my shadow
And it's getting dark in here
I'm scared of strangers
On the street
World's so ugly
I can't breath
Moon's so spooky
I'm close to tears
I've lost it all
And it's getting dark in here

And the wait isn't worth what I'm getting
Sometimes I feel I'm on fire
I've been handed a curse and a blessing
My life's been stripped down to the wire
And I'm trying to get back and hold on
Find someone somewhere who cares
But the sun's always setting on my life
And it's sure getting dark in here

Don't talk about angels
Or how I'll be saved
I'm no coward
But I'm not that brave
Rags are blowing
Rain's getting near
I'm done with running
And it's getting dark in here

And the wait isn't worth what I'm getting
Sometimes I feel I'm on fire
I've been handed a curse and a blessing
My life's been stripped down to the wire
And I'm trying to get back and hold on
Find someone somewhere who cares
But the sun's always setting on my life
And it's sure getting dark in here
And the wait isn't worth what I'm getting
Sometimes I feel I'm on fire
I've been handed a curse and a blessing
My life's been stripped down to the wire
And I'm trying to get back and hold on
Find someone somewhere who cares
But the sun's always setting on my life
And it's sure getting dark in here

Yeah, the sun's always setting on my life
And it's sure getting dark in here

[Capp]

((exoticflower))
Are you feeling any better today? With all my heart, I hope so...

I had trouble setting boundaries for a long time...
There was no frame of reference for me. They could set their boundaries which put me on the outside. I had no clue that I could set my own boundaries...
There was so much that was "off limits" to me...physically but more damaging was the emotional/mental. It led me to believe that I didn't deserve kindness let alone love.

There are times now when I feel alone in a roomful of people. It's an old coping mechanism for me...if I don't allow them to get close to me then I don't have to deal with possible betrayal.
It can become a vicious cycle with me in a nano second! It's also an alert for me to look at what's happening to cause it.
Sometimes it's not because I'm a loner but rather the people I'm around--for whatever reason, I don't trust them.
Within this rambling, I hope you can understand what I'm trying to share...

Capp

[quote=Capp;886811]((exoticflower))
Are you feeling any better today? With all my heart, I hope so...

I am feeling a little better, I am getting ready to see my T in a few minutes and she has been an angel to me. Do you find that you use your instincts to gauge whether people are safe or not?

[Capp]

[quote=exoticflower;887064]

Originally Posted by Capp

((exoticflower))
Are you feeling any better today? With all my heart, I hope so...

I am feeling a little better, I am getting ready to see my T in a few minutes and she has been an angel to me. Do you find that you use your instincts to gauge whether people are safe or not?

exoticflower,
I'm so glad you feel a wee bit better! Hope your T appt went well/helped...

Yes on using the instinct. I always follow my "gut" instinct about people...always. There have been very few times when I've been wrong following it. It's when I go against it that causes problems.

Cap

Hi Capp,

I think my gut instinct is something that kept me alive all my life. When it comes to myself and my kids, it was always telling me the right thing to do or when something was wrong.

For some odd reason I am up early and feeling awake and good. Maybe it is the exercise I have been getting the last couple of days. It feels like the old days when I would wake up reading to take on the world. lol sooo, off to exercise this morning I go. At least if I do nothing productive the rest of the day, at least I got in my exercise.