[fedupwithlife]

Firstly, I apologise to those who have read about this in my other thread(s) about this problem, but this will be the last thread I make on it.

I always had a relatively happy life, up until secondary school, where I started to get bullied.
This came to a head in Year 9, when out of nowhere the bully came up to me and punched me hard in the back of the neck.
Now I have seen a chiropractor (unsuccesfully) and am now going to another specialist who I have been referred to, who hopefully can relieve the problem, although I have been told I am probably going to have to keep the clicking/cracking in my neck.

It is this clicking/cracking which I have got ever since I got punched.
You could say that I may have got a cracking neck anyway, but I'll never know.

Anyway, this may interest the psychology students amongst you, I hope you can help (Yes I know this is no substitute for professional help, but as I am on a long waiting list, I would appreciate help from you TSR!)...

Basically, every time my neck clicks, I get upset, thinking it shouldn't be happening, because I didn't deserve to get punched. This is annoying but I can live with it.
It is when I get an "extreme" case that I get upset.
Let me give you a real life example that happened recently:
Suppose I had to be on the phone for half an hour to my doctor about my neck (which I believe wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the punch), then I missed the chance to talk to someone. (I heard them outside while I was on the phone, but when I had finished they were gone).

I then worried about this when I heard them the next day outside my room. By this I mean I hesitated and thought whether I should just burst out and talk to them or not, as we haven't really spoken before.
It would undoubtedly have helped my confidence if we had spoken the night before, but of course I was on the phone because of my neck.

I now think of many things that "would have" happened had we spoken, but that haven't happened.

You must be thinking: just talk to them now. Well thats the problem: I don't think this is "the right time" and am worried that if anything goes wrong in the conversation its getting too late to call friends for support on this.

It is this chain of thought: If I never got punched, I wouldn't have been on the phone then, we would have chatted yesterday, we could then have chatted more today, we would be on our way to becoming great friends.

that annoys me, because that is not true.
I could try and make friends today, but if it doesn't work I will be so upset.
Its like being normally upset at someone rejecting you I guess, but with the added damage of it being because of an old bully.

I welcome you guys to challenge my thoughts, and give me good advice.

Thanks in advance

im so sorry that u had to suffer
have u thought about a post traumatic stress disorder response to the punch in the neck?
just a thought not a diagnosis..
i hope u find a T soon..

I am sorry it is so hard for you right now. What I think may be happening is that the sound of your neck making a noise is something that is triggering a sense of danger to you, it is making you become anxious. Maybe you now associate that anxious feeling with this friend you want to talk to.

What you may be suffering is PTSD. The noise of your neck is triggering you back to when you were really hurt. Kinda like if you have suffered in a bad car accident and you hear another one, it causes you so much discomfort because you remember being harmed from one.

Are you having any sleeping problems or nighmares?

Originally Posted by fedupwithlife

Firstly, I apologise to those who have read about this in my other thread(s) about this problem, but this will be the last thread I make on it.

I always had a relatively happy life, up until secondary school, where I started to get bullied.
This came to a head in Year 9, when out of nowhere the bully came up to me and punched me hard in the back of the neck.
Now I have seen a chiropractor (unsuccesfully) and am now going to another specialist who I have been referred to, who hopefully can relieve the problem, although I have been told I am probably going to have to keep the clicking/cracking in my neck.

It is this clicking/cracking which I have got ever since I got punched.
You could say that I may have got a cracking neck anyway, but I'll never know.

Anyway, this may interest the psychology students amongst you, I hope you can help (Yes I know this is no substitute for professional help, but as I am on a long waiting list, I would appreciate help from you TSR!)...

Basically, every time my neck clicks, I get upset, thinking it shouldn't be happening, because I didn't deserve to get punched. This is annoying but I can live with it.
It is when I get an "extreme" case that I get upset.
Let me give you a real life example that happened recently:
Suppose I had to be on the phone for half an hour to my doctor about my neck (which I believe wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for the punch), then I missed the chance to talk to someone. (I heard them outside while I was on the phone, but when I had finished they were gone).

I then worried about this when I heard them the next day outside my room. By this I mean I hesitated and thought whether I should just burst out and talk to them or not, as we haven't really spoken before.
It would undoubtedly have helped my confidence if we had spoken the night before, but of course I was on the phone because of my neck.

I now think of many things that "would have" happened had we spoken, but that haven't happened.

You must be thinking: just talk to them now. Well thats the problem: I don't think this is "the right time" and am worried that if anything goes wrong in the conversation its getting too late to call friends for support on this.

It is this chain of thought: If I never got punched, I wouldn't have been on the phone then, we would have chatted yesterday, we could then have chatted more today, we would be on our way to becoming great friends.

that annoys me, because that is not true.
I could try and make friends today, but if it doesn't work I will be so upset.
Its like being normally upset at someone rejecting you I guess, but with the added damage of it being because of an old bully.

I welcome you guys to challenge my thoughts, and give me good advice.

Thanks in advance