[Theresa Ann]

help, do you think its possible for 2 children living in the same abusive home, but for one child who may or may not have been sexually abused, to witness it happening to they other sibling and kind of take their pain and memory as a means to protect them. Or something like that!! hope that this is understandable.

[Sannah]

I think that we feel pain for our loved-ones sufferings....

[theama]

I think that it definitely would be traumatizing for the one witnessing it, and he/she'd probably carry that with him throughout his life - and the victim might suppress the memories and not remember anything at all.

I can imagine a lot of feelings of guilt and blaming yourself if you witness something like that, which I think wouldn't be that different from the way that victims blame themselves.

[ujaz]

Its totally understandable, I grew up being regularly physically abused & it messed me up. But my sister who was never abused felt neglected by not being abused, she thought our father didn't care about her as he wouldn't hit, yell at or denegrate her. She thought that the lack of abuse showed he didn't care enough to be agro at her. In a abusive household all suffer whether thay are the object of abuse or not.

[Capp]

Originally Posted by ujaz

Its totally understandable, I grew up being regularly physically abused & it messed me up. But my sister who was never abused felt neglected by not being abused, she thought our father didn't care about her as he wouldn't hit, yell at or denegrate her. She thought that the lack of abuse showed he didn't care enough to be agro at her. In a abusive household all suffer whether thay are the object of abuse or not.

Jme, but years later when the abuse was very lightly spoken about with my aunts, they admitted to feeling grateful that it wasn't them...and the guilt they felt through the years.
I did not ask them why they didn't step in; they feared becoming another target.

[chaotic13]

Originally Posted by Theresa Ann

...to witness it happening to they other sibling and kind of take their pain and memory as a means to protect them.

I have trouble remembering actually being abused. I remember some instances but most of my memories are of being incredibly fearful of being on the receiving end of abuse. I have clear memories of my childhood friend suffering serious abuse. I can assume that what was done to her was likely at the very least also attempted with me, I was younger-- but there witnessing it.

My T suggested that when young children witness abuse and are traumatized and afraid it will happen to them these emotions get stored as if it was actually them who was being abused. However the memory of the actual event isn't there because it didn't actually happen to them in the 1st person.

Not sure if that is what you are talking about.
For me this seems to muddy things. First I don't like to admit to being a victim because I don't like the image my mind creates. Second, I am always questioning if I have a REAL reason to react the way I do to certain things. I feel like I am being a baby or that I am making up my drama. Both of these are stupid, but .... that's what I am in therapy for.

I know for me I could dissociate the physical abuse being done to myself, but the horror of hearing my brother getting it remains seared into my mind forever. To me that was even worse witnessing then actually experiencing it myself .

Originally Posted by Theresa Ann

help, do you think its possible for 2 children living in the same abusive home, but for one child who may or may not have been sexually abused, to witness it happening to they other sibling and kind of take their pain and memory as a means to protect them. Or something like that!! hope that this is understandable.