[CJR520]

My father has been a mental abuser of his three children, me being the oldest. I am 55 years old and still struggling. My mother is the enabler. My sister comes from Wisconsin to Ohio to visit with our parents and many times leaves feeling terrible. Last summer my father had her crying. She is the one who left home , went to college, and is the most strong-minded of the three of us. Eleven years ago, I was off work for three months because I almost had a nervous breakdown. I went to a Physchologist who told me that I was o.k. , just keep doing what i was doing. I didn't see or speak to my parents for five years. We are now speaking, but the episodes continue. It is like a nightmare!! Three years ago, my brother broke down and is on meds to help him. My parents are so critical of everyone. It is just terrible. Now, this year at Christmas, everyone went to my parents for our annual Christmas Eve. I have a gradson who is 18, and a gentle sole type young man. He has a part time farm job and is still in high school, as he was held back because he has dyslexia problems. My father has criticized this boy a couple of times before Christmas, we don't know why other than he is young and an easy mark for the old fart. My father tied into him right after our Christmas Eve dinner, something over hunting, than could have waited. Then my father proceeded to the kitchen where most of the other family was and told what the conversation was about, and humiliated my grandson even more. This is typical of my father. My daughter and her husband and two boys, and my husband and I just got our things together and left. I haven't been to my parents since, although there have been some phone conversations. My mother called a couple of days ago and wanted to know if we were mad at them. Then she sends mye inspirational things that she finds about family love. This went on before, so I am an old pro at this! This has gone on for all the years that I grew up, with my children, and now my grandchildren. The buck is now stopping with me. My first grandchild was attacked verbally by my father and I will tolerate this no more! I know there are a lot of others suffering the same and worse out there and I hope we can all help each other.

[kimmydawn]

CJR, hi and welcome! i'm so very sorry to read this

i think you're very brave to do what needs to be done to protect your family from this verbally abusive man. the younger ones need to know that this is not acceptable behavior and you're showing them that! kudos!

i wish you much luck, and think you're a wonferful grandmother for your actions. i don't think the man will change after all these years, so self protection and the protection of those who can't self protect, is the way to go...that's what you're doing! great job!

be safe and i hope to hear from you again soon,

kd

[CJR520]

Thank you! I have two friends who are RNs and they say , You are doing what needs to be done, but it is so hard! I do have the support of my daughter who will no longer accept this type of abuse. However, my son, who has my other four grandkids cannot speak up to my parents. I am holding my ground. I will talk to my Mother when I feel that I can without breaking up. That is the best I can do. I know she is having a hard time with this because they are old and this has gone on for so long. They either don't understand or don't want to. I feel it is the latter.