[freespirit37]

I am just getting tired of rude people pestering me at AA. They are just not the kind of people I wish to be around.

I have made a few good friends at AA, however. I think I will just go to one meeting per week and get more support here. I am also thinking about getting an online sponsor.

Other than the depression/anxiety I've been experiencing because of things that happened at AA, I am doing pretty good. I have a good part-time job and my own place, and I feel more confident than ever!

[notz]

How much time do you have?

[freespirit37]

90 days... this time... been in the program about a year

[notz]

Might be a good time to explore a few new meetings. A year is long enough to know rude when you hear it but not long enough to be so slim going to meetings.

What do they pester you about?

[freespirit37]

I had a problem with predators when I first moved to my new town and was in the Oxford House, to the point where I was terrified. Now I have a boyfriend in AA and he fends them off.

Unsolicited advice, nosiness, bossiness.

What I am really mad at right now is there was a woman who offered me rides to meetings when I first moved to the Oxford House, but she never followed through. She kept cancelling at the last minute, which really put me in a bind. I had to attend 5 meetings per week as required by the Oxford House. So I found rides with more reliable people.

She keeps approaching me, claiming I never called her back about a ride. That is not true and I have the text messages to prove what happened. I have explained to her, twice now, that I texted her back but she cancelled. She denies it.

Wednesday night she did not pick up on the nonverbal cues that I did not wish to speak with her, like running away from her. She hunted me down and again, accused me of not calling her back. I explained to her again, what really happened. She said she doesn't usually do things like that then offered me a ride again. I told her I have a ride now. She is talking about something that happened 5 months ago, and I don't want to hear about it anymore.

I was only in the Oxford House for a month, it was such hell and I would really like to move on and stop running into people from the Oxford House or people who knew me while I was there. I am trying to get over all the bad things that happened there and I don't wish to be reminded of it anymore.

And I never want to see that woman again. I have been depressed for the past two days over it. She reminds me of my narcissistic mother and her church friends. It is just very triggering. Seeing those predators is triggering also.

I could go to other meetings in the area, but I never know which ones that these people will show up at.

Part of me wants to move again. A new area, with new meetings and new people. No one who knew me from the Oxford House. So I can move on.

[notz]

If not her, it'll be someone else who will be in your Serenity Prayer. Where is your sponsor?

[jwmann2]

There are problems with AA in all cities and on all levels of the organization. None of your stories are uncommon so don't feel bad. Recently read that sexual harassment has become a major problem in the organization.

[DeeAnnaD1913]

I avoid AA meetings simply because there are too many guys wanting to hook up with a chick to use with or it's the same loud mouth telling the same story of how high he got the weekend before. It can be draining. I do know that this program really works for some people, though. It's just not for me, although I do implement many of the concepts in my daily life.

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Getting a sponsor online is really hard and most likely you will come across those abusing you just for asking (that is what happened to me when I asked online groups for a sponsor).

As mentioned, you are not alone in your discomfort with AA... I am the same...

Maybe check out other meetings? Eg, SMART, 16 Step, Life Ring.... All good alternatives.

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Thanks for suggesting some other groups somat... The only other thing that I know of is celebrate recovery and NA/AA in my area, so I will definitely check out the ones that you mentioned.

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The creator of the 16 steps also has a great book, Many Roads, One Journey

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Thanks! I will definitely look that one up on Amazon!

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[notz]

DeeAnnaD1913, have you thought about a gay AA clubhouse where you probably won't be hit on? There's one in your area. They're not so pushy either.

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Hey! I would much rather go to a gay NA or AA! That's a good idea. Thank you!!!!

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i went to a gay mens SMART meeting once by accident (i am a girl). it was.... awkward

[DeeAnnaD1913]

Lmaooooo. Well did you stay Somat?

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[notz]

Here's their meeting schedule The Galano Club | All Meetings. There's an all women's meeting at 10am on Sat. Located in Midtown off Monroe Drive.

Originally Posted by DeeAnnaD1913

Lmaooooo. Well did you stay Somat?

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i left when i realized i was in the wrong room. the meeting i was trying to go to was next door...

[DeeAnnaD1913]

I am going to force myself to go to a meeting here soon. I know it will be beneficial. I risk seeing someone I know from around here but it's whatever, I still need to get out of the house and be around people.

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[continuosly blue]

I was sober 12 years before I cut down on meetings due to forgetting " principles before personalities ". Well needless to say I just got sick of the meetings and really disliked some of the people. I wound up stopping all together and went out. Luckily I made it back after some horrendous incidents. Listen , AA is a microcosm of the world. You are going to meet all kinds of people.
Don't let the ******* ruin your serenity. Remember ,your there for YOU !

[Mygrandjourney]

Originally Posted by DeeAnnaD1913

I am going to force myself to go to a meeting here soon. I know it will be beneficial. I risk seeing someone I know from around here but it's whatever, I still need to get out of the house and be around people.

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A wise elder once advised that if I didn't feel better after a meeting than before the meeting, I should not return to that meeting and find a different one. Our local meeting finder allows you to search out specific meetings, such as woman only, young peoples, etc.