help =(

((((((((((((( Wahya and Kiya))))))))))))

You are good.
We are always here for you

Gentle hugs to ya'll
Sparrow, Pip, and Fernfox

((((((((((Silver et al))))))))))) thank you.
our abusers b-day is coming up... i usually send a card (the only contact i have). but this year i cannot find the address, even on the net. if i don't mail it in the next 30 min, it will be late. i haven't even written anything yet. maybe i am bad
or is he bad?
i've never not sent one.
gah he's trying to make me guilty again from inside my own head.
and i'm soooooooooooo sick... feverish even.
and bad.... am i
a bad daughter really like he said?
there is a long littany being carried against him n my head by several others that used to vote for sending the card.
i so confused.

dear, sweet, kind, good kiya...ALL of kiya...

It is SO HARD to not believe the messages our abusers have told us. You are not bad. you do not have to send a card. It's hard to put up boundaries, but it is OKAY to put up boundaries. It's GOOD to have boundaries. Not sending a card can be a boundary, and that can be okay.

You are so kind, and so good, and so deserving of good things. You are working so hard. Try to hang on to the good, loving messages. Those messages are the Truth.

Sending love and

=( sanks.
hard to believe anything good. bury it deep. did send him an email... trying to not buy his lies of love and care. burying selves in -numbing. been numbing all week. different ways. mom says to us "why are you trying to do yourself in tonight"? cuz we drink chocolate with conac in it. not allowed to have either... make us sick. seemed like a good idea at the time. but forgot we just took meds prior.
hard day i guess... not on the surface, but underneath. on surface we are all bubbly and hyper and chipper... not usual for us either. really confused. but others can see thru us better than we can.
thank you earthmama for seeing something better than what we are. we try to live up to what you see.
((((((((((((((((earthmama))))))))))))))))))))))