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Member Since Feb 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 441
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#1
It doesn't seem to matter if I do everything "right". I exercise, I eat healthy foods, I've a lean body mass, I meditate, I go to therapy, I take meds, I take vitamins and Omega 3s, I work towards small, "obtainable" goals (which keep getting smaller and harder atm), I do my best to get out of the house and keep in touch with people, but everything is getting harder again. Sometimes impossible. Meds suck. I'm starting to resent them because all I seem to get are "side effects". Which can be from "mildly annoying" to "get me out of here".
It's happening again. Yet another episode. How many more years must this take, or is this just how it is now? Tired of this crap. __________________ "The days were dark And the nights were bright I would never trade tomorrow for today" -Rush |
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Anonymous200325, EnglishDave, Fuzzybear, Lost_in_the_woods, vonmoxie
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 668
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#2
I know. I know. I'm sorry.
Keep posting. You're NOT alone. I don't care if all you do is type "no" over and over and over - please keep talking to us. |
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EnglishDave, Rand.
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Disreputable Old Troll
Member Since Oct 2015
Location: The Star of the North
Posts: 32,762
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#3
Hello Rand: Yes, it does get old after a while. Sometimes I think to myself: "I just can't stand this another minute!" This has led me to some very dark places in the past. I'm not on med's anymore. They never did much good & I just can't afford them anymore. The thing I have going for me is that I'm old. I don't have a life anymore, but it's okay. No one expects me to.
From what you wrote, it sounds like you're doing just about everything you could possibly do & more. I hope that you will be able to find a pathway to healing. __________________ "I may be older but I am not wise / I'm still a child's grown-up disguise / and I never can tell you what you want to know / You will find out as you go." (from: "A Nightengale's Lullaby" - Julie Last) |
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Rand.
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Rand.
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deus ex machina
Member Since Jul 2014
Location: Ticket-taking at the cartesian theater.
Posts: 2,379
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#4
I was totally sideblinded by my most recent episode of major depression. I thought I had built up my immunity well enough years ago, but apparently it was lying dormant all along, like a virus, just waiting for the right time to pop out. A few unfortunate events and boom! Back from the dead.
It's had its way with me for much longer in this incarnation than I prefer to admit (years though). But I can't say I believe it's without good reason. It's forced me to be more humble and compassionate towards myself, which I may have really needed, and while I wasn't a real jerk before I believe it's made me a better person by likewise becoming more genuinely compassionate towards others. I know there's many who would disagree with me about this, but I think there's a wisdom to these things. A light we're meant to find in the darkness, darkness which is there so that we can. It's been harder each time, for me as well.. but that much more meaningful to do so. Funnily enough, people I really admire I'll often find out struggle with depression. Rachel Maddow.. the late Robin Williams.. I think it's an affliction that is mostly encountered by people of great depth, that take things so to heart. __________________ “We use our minds not to discover facts but to hide them. One of things the screen hides most effectively is the body, our own body, by which I mean, the ins and outs of it, its interiors. Like a veil thrown over the skin to secure its modesty, the screen partially removes from the mind the inner states of the body, those that constitute the flow of life as it wanders in the journey of each day.” — Antonio R. Damasio, “The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness” (p.28) |
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lavendersage, Rand.
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EnglishDave, lavendersage, Rand.
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Veteran Member
Member Since Mar 2011
Location: Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 668
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#5
Quote:
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vonmoxie
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vonmoxie
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Member
Member Since Nov 2015
Location: Yorkshire, England
Posts: 390
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#6
Hi Rand,
All I can offer is that you say you have recurring episodes. Therefore, I assume, you have periods of elevated Mood? At least by following your regimen of doing everything right you stand a greater chance of cutting the duration of this current episode and returning to a balance where everything is easier. I know things become increasingly difficult, plans become harder to follow, personal care suffers, but you truly seem to have a handle on that aspect of your life. Be proud of that and use it to your advantage. Dave. __________________ You and I are yesterday's answers, The earth of the past come to flesh, Eroded by Time's rivers, To the shapes we now possess. The Sage. Emerson, Lake and Palmer. |
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Grand Poohbah
Member Since Oct 2014
Location: Boston
Posts: 1,589
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#7
Quote:
http://forums.psychcentral.com/4262681-post105.html About meditation, I don't do that myself, but I have noticed a few people here getting a huge benefit from it. They also say, though, that you have to keep at it seriously for a while before anything happens. - vital |
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Rand.
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