How do you describe your depression?

I would.

Angry. Extremely dark. So dark to the point where I am afraid of letting anyone see me that way.

It's ruined my life.

It's like having the life sucked right out of you. There's no hope, no reason to care, and complete exhaustion. Sleep is the only thing that you think about and look forward to.

Relentless

Dark, sad, listless. Tears, anger, apathy. What would a smile feel like? A real smile that signifies no one is tugging on me and I don't have to satisfy anyone but myself. Where did the real me go? Normal no more.

No feelings numb dumb tired can't understand the way anything works, I can watch the bare wall in front of me all day,the rest of thed ay mey eyes are closed in darkness I don't watch tv or listen to music idon't smile most of the time I have a angry look on my face my dog got more baths than me last week Life hate me I hate life no interest in woman, fishing ,hunting , working out, I wake up stumble around for hours be fore i feel i could maybe drive but I'm to tired now I lay down think bad thoughts, my eyes hurt my head hurts my shoulder hurts I have vertigo herpes out breaks all the time now on my forehead I have no income so that depressed me a little more no one wants me to work for them I feel like my body is always fighting something off I don't sleep well, my butt ig leaking poo i can barely pee I shake I twitch my active memory fails me, Every time I try to help myself someone is always there to stomp me down farther I have menieres disease I can't go outside in the sun it will trigger the menieres I could go but im to depressed.

A living death.

I too right now have a depressive episode like none other I have ever had. For me: mental torture, a living hell on earth, and of course no one I know understands what I am going through. For those who do not understand depression: a very bad case of pneumonia and the doctor doesn't know whether I will live of die. Usually doing something, anything helps me but this time the more I try to do the worse it gets to the point I am basically paralyzed to my recliner or my bed. I cannot even watch TV or listen to my music. The only thing that seems to help is complete silence laying back with my eyes closed. Over the years I have learned a multitude of tools to help deal with depression but in this case nothing works and taking my meds might as well be candy pills.
Aken

I'm a walking zombie and I love it.

One of my greatest fears is to eventually find a working therapy. It is unclear to me if I'm just very masochist or on the way to madness.

Completely disconnected from everything and everyone else. Total lack of hope.

Isn't... it... wonderful?