[Astraea]

I'm a bit different from most women, I admit. I don't wear makeup, I don't even wear women's clothes since I find them too constricting. But apparently this makes me the black sheep of where I work, either that or something else.

Nobody likes to sit near me, I'm never invited to any office social events. I'm never asked to help with any projects or maintenance. I work just as much as anyone else. I keep thinking the only reason I'm still here is because they can't find a reason to get rid of me that's legal.

I can't even talk to the one person here I share some interests with, he thinks I'm strange too.

I keep thinking....maybe they heard about my psychological problems? They think I'm crazy and want nothing to do with me?

I keep thinking these things...I feel more and more uncomfortable at work. Has anyone else ever felt like this? How did you handle it?

I assume you would like us to be open ?

I think you need to ask yourself a few questions, is your personnal hygene good ? Do you have BO ? If that is all great then I would be asking myself am I making myself seem aloof so people avoide me ? How about going to sit with the man you feel you have some interest with and have lunch with him ......

You make the first step ! Next day sit with a different person. Yes at first they will think you are after somthing or are really weird but if you keep at it then they will get used to it. And would maybe invite you to one of the social gatherings they have.

Trish.

[Astraea]

Originally Posted by Tishie

I assume you would like us to be open ?

I think you need to ask yourself a few questions, is your personnal hygene good ? Do you have BO ? If that is all great then I would be asking myself am I making myself seem aloof so people avoide me ? How about going to sit with the man you feel you have some interest with and have lunch with him ......

You make the first step ! Next day sit with a different person. Yes at first they will think you are after somthing or are really weird but if you keep at it then they will get used to it. And would maybe invite you to one of the social gatherings they have.

Trish.

Yes, I do take care of myself. I use various personal hygiene products, but nothing so strong as to make people avoid me.

I don't think I seem aloof, do I? I try to smile and talk to people about things I know they like that I do too, but they just ignore me.

[Perna]

I don't think it's like/dislike; they don't know you so they can't really have an opinion of you other than what they see which is different than they are expecting so they might be a little "afraid". I would try to talk more and offer help rather than wait to be invited.

It sounds like communicating might be a bit of an effort for you? One doesn't usually "try" to smile, one does when one is feeling good and interested in what's going on around them. I would try asking questions about others, it's hard to "ignore" a question. You say "I can't even talk to the one person here I share some interests with, he thinks I'm strange too," how do you know that? Personal perceptions can be weird things; we can think all sorts of things that the other person has no clue about/isn't thinking. I would do some checking of your perceptions, ask the guy you think you have similar interests to a few "hard" questions to see how he perceives you according to him instead of just your own idea.

I was very shy and didn't speak much and know I was thought aloof which always amazed me since I was usually frightened and feeling left out instead. It's not the other person's job to include us; they're too busy getting themselves included and putting themselves out there where others can "see" them. If we do things differently than others are accustomed, we have made it a bit harder on ourselves to help other people see and communicate with us; if you're not a man and you wear men's clothing, other people don't know how to respond to that; you have to help them, if that's what you want.

[Astraea]

Thanks for the support. I see what you mean. Communicating with other people is difficult due to my social phobia. I'm constantly worrying about what other people think of me. I will try my best, though.

[Rmdctc]

Sorry you feel that way. I hope you can include yourself some more so you dont feel so lonely. Good luck with it!

[ECHOES]

Communicating with other people is difficult due to my social phobia. I'm constantly worrying about what other people think of me.

Communicating is hard, but the only way to get to know others and for them to get to know you. Not communicating seems to have landed you in the same place of being worried what others think.

We can't know what others think unless they tell us. We only know what we think. You have decided they think one thing, but that comes from your worries. In truth, they may think you like solitude, being apart rather than being a part. They may be respecting that about you. They may have the wrong impression and you can change that by communicating more, knowing that your communication is your communication and is about you... and knowing that their thoughts are their thoughts and not anything we can guess or control, because their thoughts come from within them. You can relax and be you, knowing you have no control over what others think

Has this person who interests you said something to make you believe he thinks you're strange?