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#1
Jun 26, 2009, 10:21 PM
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 My bf is on a medication to keep him from abusing pain medication. Which I'm very happy that he is no longer using. Problem is this med makes him have a very low sex drive. If i try to make out or i mention wanting to have sex it makes him want it even less if he' s not in the mood which is most of the time. We had a huge talk about it the other night and about all my emotional issues surrounding sex and crappy relationships. In short he treats me amazingly he tried to help me with my kids. He drives an hour to see me 3 or 4 times a week. I could see myself marrying him eventually.Sex with him feels good like I have never felt before. It makes me feel close to him. I don't like that he doesn't want to. He tries to understand how I feel about this but, For him he doesn't get why it makes me feel closer. He says most girls feel closer by not having sex.... Any ideas??? |
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#2
Jun 27, 2009, 01:49 PM
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Medication can have that effect on anyone. I think that they have other meds that can help him with this, but he needs to be the one who wants to get help for it. I would just tell him that he needs to give it up.
__________________
Live in the moment. Right now is the only thing we really have.  |
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#3
Jun 27, 2009, 02:02 PM
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He needs this medication that he is on now. He had a very big problem with pain meds before we met. And was still using a little until march. This med blocks the receptors that want the pain meds. He feels better on these than he does the pain meds. just not in the mood most of the time. And he said even before he was on the pain pills or this med, he really only wanted it a couple times a week at most. Now it happens once about every two weeks or longer....Just wish there was a way to get around it
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#4
Jun 27, 2009, 07:04 PM
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Amy, he won't be on this med forever; I'd wait it out, he sounds like a keeper. Maybe you and he can explore using other means to satisfy you, as couples whose libidos are different have to do anyway.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
 amy83
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#5
Jun 27, 2009, 10:23 PM
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I think you are right. I feel like his a keeper. We spent a few hours at the beach today with the boys. And he helped me look for sea glass for my collection. I really don't know how to broach the subject with him. So maybe will have to just wait it out. And just support him for now.
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#6
Jun 28, 2009, 07:24 AM
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maybe he wouldn't mind taking you to his doc with him? sometimes it helps to hear it from a professional - that this is completely due to the meds, maybe how long you have to wait, or whether there are other options.
of course, he would have to be completely comfortable about it... but it could make things easier for you both in the mean time.
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#7
Jun 28, 2009, 12:25 PM
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I'm guessing he is probably on something called Antabuse/Naltrexone..
The problem with drugs like this, or even pain meds themselves, is it ALSO blocks natural Endorphins. Think of it like this - the body produces endorphins right - well endorphine is actually short for "Endomorphine".. it is the bodies natural opiate. Endorphines are part of what gives us that "rush" when happy, or when we are excersizing, or in pain. And yes, its also part of what gives us the Sexual "rush" or lust. So it makes complete sense that he is experiencing this. Let me talk to some of my friends who are on it. I will get back to you and see if there is something that can be done. |
| amy83
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#8
Jun 29, 2009, 08:58 PM
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That's kinda what he has explained to me about what the med does to him. I'm just hoping he won't be on it for too long. But i'm not sure it's been about three months. He was on it once before but took himself off it sooner than the dr thought he should and ended up using again a few months later when life got hard for him.
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#9
Jul 09, 2009, 08:50 PM
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Quote:
He is on suboxone not sure if I spelled that right. Do you know anything about it??? How he can get off of it?? |
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#10
Jul 09, 2009, 11:43 PM
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I'm sorry you're having to deal with this. I just wanted to remind you that him not wanting sex has nothing to do with you (ie it's not your fault), but you may have to sacrifice in this area of the relationship. I have a difficult time with this issue because I am on meds and I would be fine with sex every two months. Obviously this is not ideal for my husband and I feel really guilty because of it. I try to have sex with him at least once a month but it is very difficult to get myself going even though sex does feel good. Also, if he is trying to get me turned on it is an instant turn off. I'm sure he is struggling with this issue just as much as you are. I wish I had answers for you. Just try to remember that commitment is the most important thing in a relationship. You can't count on sex to maintain a relationship.
__________________
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. |
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#11
Jul 10, 2009, 12:06 AM
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Quote:
I don't need the sex as much to maintain my relationship but i feel i need something to keep me emotionally happy i guess. |
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