Do they ever grow up?

I find myself in the situation that my mother always warned me about. My boyfriend and I have been together about 8 months officially. He has good intentions in that he buys me flowers, does the dishes, he will take my laundry and do it while I'm in class to surprise me etc...

And while he is very sweet and understanding with a lot of things I feel like he is about 5 years behind me maturity wise. Granted he has his own car that he pays on, is about the graduate with his masters degree and has been on his own since he was 18. So looking at it that way he has his stuff together. He isn't a mooch or anything, takes pride in paying for things himself and takes pride in having a steady job and doing well in school.

But sometimes I get this feeling like he will never get out of this goofy stage he is in. Don't get me wrong, I'm goofy too. But it seems like he doesn't understand when it's appropriate and when it's not. I feel like I have to ask him to chill out or calm down a lot because it's like he is bouncing off the walls.

This kind of behavior makes me feel like he might not be a good father or husband (which, by the way, I never thought I would get to the point where that's how I evaluate who I'm dating haha) but at the same time I know a lot of guys with children who say that when it happens, something in them just snaps and magically, like someone waved a wand, they learned how to be an adult.

Is that a myth? Do they ever grow up? I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get my stuff together for graduation while working and doing my own research project and he's just goofing off while I'm trying to seriously talk about something or get his opinion or whatever. Is this one of those things where, if he's like this at 26, he'll be like this forever. Or is 26 too young (for guys at least) to expect that kind of maturity out of them? Is this a lost cause? I love him to death but I don't want to be with a guy that I don't feel would be a good father or husband, if it ever came to that.

No, it hasn't been my experience that they grow out of that goofy stage. My husband is a very responsible individual but sometimes I feel like I'm dealing with a 12 year old. But then again it could be said that I'm entirely too serious. We balance each other out.

He is an excellent father that has always been hands on. He goes absolutely ape **** when someone makes the comment they have to "babysit" their own kids. They're yours, it's called being a parent. I cannot imagine having a better father for my children. He still does some really stupid stuff sometimes, but where it matters (kids and husband stuff) he is absolutely wonderful. I really do not have a complaint.

He is also an excellent husband. The kids and I absolutely come first in his life. He works very hard to make sure that we live a comfortable life. What more could I ask for?

If you can't see yourself dealing with these same issues 30 years later, then I'd say find someone you're more comfortable with. You either accept him warts and all or move on.

my husband at 56 still acts silly at times and sometimes at the wrong times. I wouldn't have it any other way! it keeps you young! try not to take life too seriously. it can make you old and boring lol

My bf acts goofy too. You know he sounds like a keeper to me. I think he would be very responsible with his own kids if that time ever comes. Maybe he gets all happy and excited being around you. If you ask me it sounds like he is so in-love with you. The flowers, doing your laundry, that is so sweet.

Nope, doesn't happen! LOL

My husband is 8 1/2 years older than me. We got together when I was about a month away from turning 22. At that time (I was SO mature! ) I would not date or befriend any male younger than me. They were so immature!

Much to my chagrin, my best friend now is a male who is 6 years YOUNGER than me. In many ways, he is much older than me. I think it depends on the person and their life experiences.

My husband steals our daughters' toys and in many way acts the kid. But when it counts (for the most part) he can be an adult and be strangly wise...

I didn't mean to sound arrogant or sound like I'm on my white horse pointing down at him lol. I act goofy too. Like he always makes fun of me when a song comes on in the grocery store and I stop what I'm doing and sing it and dance to it lol

I guess it just seems like he is goofy when I'm being serious and vise versa. We can't get on the same wavelength when it comes to that lol

TOTALLY understand that! No, it's just I find it ironic that I was so stubborn and set in my beliefs, and now have someone to tip my world upside down! And don't think my friend doesn't drive me crazy, he does time to time, it just drives me nuts when he pulls an "older/wiser" moment on me!

I do not understand the humor of these people. My husband will watch the movie Jackass and absolutely lose it. I find it stupid and replusive. We can be watching the same program and he'll start laughing hysterically and I have no clue what he's finding funny. Sometimes it can get tiring dealing with an adult with the sense of humor of a jr high boy, but as I said, that aside he's a stand up guy. If that's all you can find undesireable about him, I'd call you lucky.

Every guy is different. Some will be goofy, some are never goofy, some change, some don't. As for becoming more mature and responsible after having children, some do, some don't. While you can't know for sure until it happens, I think the best way to see how they'll act with children in the picture is to see them around children. Ideally, if you could get a child to watch for several days, so you can see what happens when it stops being "fun and play," you'll probably get some idea.

That's a good idea Maven. Any time we are around my nieces or nephew or his second cousin (or any baby for that matter) it's impossible to take the smile off his face. It's extremely obvious when you see him around kids that he wants a child. He gets this gleam in his eye that I never see him have with anyone or anything else.

Oh Gosh

Men are goofy around women. I think for the most part most of them anyways.

bf is goofy alot. Its his way of dealing with stress, joy, anger, lol whatever. He gets goofy. But im also exceedingly silly.

IMO - I think the average male really starts to grow up around the age of twenty-five.... so give him a few years to learn, grow and mature.

so what you're saying is that I need to date guys like 10 years older than me? lol