[youOme]

My ex and I just had sex. I was worried about having lingering emotions. He wasn't. Or so he said. Just to avoid to much emotion (or intimacy) we didn't kiss. It was just sex. But, now I feel confused.

Is it true that women connect emotion and feelings with sex and that men don't (or won't if they don't want to)?

[salukigirl]

I think its a myth that men DONT associate emotions with sex. I think that there is a difference in HOW we associate the two different from how men do. Women often look for sex as a sign of approval or a sign that a guy really likes them. A lot of women feel that they have to do those things to get a guy to really stick with them. I think that guys do associate emotions with sex but have been taught that sex is just sex so they don't admit it or talk about it. My boyfriend and I have had the best sex ever without really doing anything different - its only better because we both care about each other. So I guess what I'm trying to say is that women usually have to like the guy and therefore, thats why emotions are associated with sex; whereas men can have sex just to do it without the emotions but that doesn't mean that they don't do it too.

Reading that back it sounds really confusing lol then again...so are men.

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by youOme

Is it true that women connect emotion and feelings with sex and that men don't (or won't if they don't want to)?

While women can connect with their beloved with words of praise and endearment followed by a soft gentle touch (with or with out sex) - Men usually connect with their beloved via the means of sex and going to work so they can provide for their family.

LOVE is translated in many different ways...

But then must also remember that one size does not fit all when it comes to why peoples have sex, therefore, we must not remain naive and think no one ever has sex just for sex - a mere physical release.

* * * *

The only way to really know why the two of you had sex together (which is normal for divorced ppl that are alone) is to ask your ex or wait and see if any thing else comes from it.




P.S.
Men feel their deepest emotions while being sexual

[youOme]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

P.S.
Men feel their deepest emotions while being sexual

That's interesting.
He was the one that kept beinging it up. I wasn't even remotely interested, but figured...hell why not? I haven't slept with anyone after our relationship and we had done it millions of times before. Ya know. But when we talked about the possible emotions involved he acted like he didn't have any. I think the emotions I did have involved weren't neccesarily love, but I was comfortable... it was like being at home again. He probably did feel something. I think we do still love each other... but it's a different kind of love now.

Thanks for the replies... just trying to understand, yet not give it to much thought... to much thought equals trouble.

[coolbrock2]

Originally Posted by Rhapsody

While women can connect with their beloved with words of praise and endearment followed by a soft gentle touch (with or with out sex) - Men usually connect with their beloved via the means of sex and going to work so they can provide for their family.

LOVE is translated in many different ways...

But then must also remember that one size does not fit all when it comes to why peoples have sex, therefore, we must not remain naive and think no one ever has sex just for sex - a mere physical release.

* * * *

The only way to really know why the two of you had sex together (which is normal for divorced ppl that are alone) is to ask your ex or wait and see if any thing else comes from it.




P.S.
Men feel their deepest emotions while being sexual

what if your husband for 8 yrs doesn't want to touch you at all how am i suppose to feel?

[Rhapsody]

Originally Posted by coolbrock2

what if your husband for 8 yrs doesn't want to touch you at all how am i suppose to feel?

Have you two talked about this matter? - and do you know his reasoning?

[NuckingFutz]

I think I am really starting to understand why I am a lesbian. This man woman stuff is quite confusing! Kudos to you all for working throuh the differences.

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbian as I am sure life would be easier.

[NuckingFutz]

Life is great this way for me. Sometimes it is breakfast in bed. Lot more cuddling. Both of us cry and both of us have shoulders to cry on. The kisses are melt in your mouth and the carresses are silky. Grooming eachother is fun. Guys night out is nonexistent. My partner is more willing to talk and work out a problem rather than wave you away while exclaim "move, move there's a game on" when it's a beer commercial with a couple of blondes. You plan stuff to do together instead of you clean while he works on the car. Cooking together is an experience instead of you cooking for him while he watches the news. When you go dancing together it is fun. With him it's a chance to look at other women so of course he can't dance. And in the morning she won't slap you on the as$ and say "make me some waffles babe". And my all time favorite, she won't climax then pull out in one smooth move and go hop in the shower, leaving you cold and lonely without the cuddling and smiles and caresses that is the afterglow. Sigh...

[crystalrose]

i was thinking about this after watching the movie its complicated and i think that id have to ring for an emergency session if i ever went and did anything with my ex. that said i have a male friend with benefits so i can see how it would work.

[NuckingFutz]

Perhaps you need to talk to your husband and tell him exactly what you need. I would feel very lonely. I am sorry he is ignoring your needs. Was it you that I sent the pm to? It had a solution. [QUOTE=coolbrock2;1257238]what if your husband for 8 yrs doesn't want to touch you at all how am i suppose to feel?[/QU

Originally Posted by NuckingFutz

Life is great this way for me. Sometimes it is breakfast in bed. Lot more cuddling. Both of us cry and both of us have shoulders to cry on. The kisses are melt in your mouth and the carresses are silky. Grooming eachother is fun. Guys night out is nonexistent. My partner is more willing to talk and work out a problem rather than wave you away while exclaim "move, move there's a game on" when it's a beer commercial with a couple of blondes. You plan stuff to do together instead of you clean while he works on the car. Cooking together is an experience instead of you cooking for him while he watches the news. When you go dancing together it is fun. With him it's a chance to look at other women so of course he can't dance. And in the morning she won't slap you on the as$ and say "make me some waffles babe". And my all time favorite, she won't climax then pull out in one smooth move and go hop in the shower, leaving you cold and lonely without the cuddling and smiles and caresses that is the afterglow. Sigh...

Be quiet your making me jealous ....

[NuckingFutz]

Sorry Tishie, got carried away. (Grin)

[sharon123]

The only good thing between my ex and I (after 31 years of abuse) was sex. We had sex 3 times after the divorce. He now has a girlfriend........I've been celibate for (RRARRRGHHHHH) almost six years. My libido is still on kill at 63. I still feel 18; I have many opportunities, but want to be in love with someone

Very tempting to see if the ex would go for sex...LOL

[RomanSunburn]

Nucking, you just made me wonder if I'm secretly dating a woman... Haha, just made me realize how special my boyfriend is in the fact that he really isn't like most guys. You just made me appreciate him so much more and I'll be going around on this rainy crappy day with a smile on my face. Thanks for that :-D

[NuckingFutz]

No problem. I knew there had to be someone in this thread with a killer relationship!