Personal Problems

Hey ladies,

Can we not always talk about that time of month on this thread. I'm sure we can think of other topics, for pete's sake, thanks!

I'm game for new ideas. Do you have anything in particular you would like to talk about??

Well, yes~ let's talk about the shocking state of disrespect for women by medical professionals~! i'm sure i'm not the only one who has felt like a second class citizen, largely thanks to the male dominated profession of medical care. Augusta

This infuriates me to no end, the condescension and being treated differently.

There have been many instances of this over the years but the one most recently, a minor example: I see the same GP as my father does; we are both very personable people. He is on a first name basis with this doc, manages to get whatever he goes in for, immediate response with returning his phone calls, and meds refilled immediately as well, etc. I always have to go in, days before call is returned or meds refilled, and he speaks to me as if I am a child.

I know in dealing w/ docs I am also not taken as seriously b/c of the BP (which also grinds me, I am still human after all; it's just an illness like diabetes or high blood pressure), so how I am treated is not just b/c I am female but I have seen so much of this when was working in the hospital first hand. Physicians talking with other patients and how they spoke to their female patients vs. the male ones. It makes me always think back to ages ago; the old beliefs that our insides are different, we are still delicate, too tempermental, and must be treated with extra care. Have we not really moved past this? Arghhh.

Yes I agree...that's why my main GP is a woman. But if I have a specialist I have to take what I get lol. Even while shopping I see the same thing and here sometimes too lol. I'll be at the deli counter and it's the same old routine ordering and then a man comes along and he gets a big grin, how are you's and pleasant conversation even if he doesn't initiate it.

Once when I was in my late 20's and didn't have children at that time....I went to a clinic and had this male doctor in his late 50's. So he asked me if I was married and did I have kids yet. I said "no" and he said "well what are you doing with your life....you should be having kids by now instead of wasting your life". Unfortunately I didn't have the nerve I have now and didn't say a thing.

Maybe cause I"m young, but I haven't had too much trouble with doctors. Most of my doctors have been female, though, or through the military. I always liked going to the military hospitals (men in uniform aside...) because they're always on top of things. When I had the lump in my breast, I went to the military base hospital and everything was taken care of in a week -- exam, biopsy, and removal. Though... Military doctors aren't the best for mental health stuff...

But in regards to just plain shopping, like Lynn brought up, I feel that it's the total opposite. The prettier and younger the girl is (like college/high school age) the more attention they get. I find this extremely annoying, probably more annoying than if a man gets better service. What exactly makes her prettier, or more worthy of better service than me??

Fresia, I was wondering how long you had been with your doctor. Maybe if you have been with him forever and have grown up with him, maybe he still treats you like a child because he still thinks of you as a child (you know, how parents do that?). I dunno, he could just be inconsiderate. I'm sorry he's not more respectful towards you.

No, I actually started going to his wife when we first moved here but she only has hours 2 days a week. I switched to him on recommendation of father a few years ago and after checking creds. I could see your reasoning though and how that could happen with a childhood physician. I find as soon as I mention BP or BP is seen in the chart, demeanors change anyway, female or not. I still go to him though b/c he is always there in an emergency, I like his credentials and education is why I continue to go; same for some of my other docs. Sometimes these things trump bedside manner for me, in some areas; not for pdoc and T though.

It isn't just w/ physicians as y'all mentioned above. In business and around town, I have experienced this too. However I agree that being female works in our favor with men too at times. No matter, a lot of it depends on the person, the circumstances, and how you carry yourself with behavior. Some times there are biases that cannot be overcome in the Ol' boys network however. Accept the things you cannot change, but work the system.

edit: bit of a rant, never mind, sorry

While I understand reading similar topics can be frustrating, it is a WOMEN'S forum and a lot of women have issues with that particular subject. They can't help that. If someone needs help with it, should they just NOT attempt to ask just because someone would like to read something different for a change?
Sorry if that sounds a bit snarky, but I just don't understand why people should not be able to ask for advice.

Evening,
I totally understand your post, and actually thought the same thing when I first saw this thread. But it occured to me that Deborah isn't telling us to stop posting about our periods or other bodily things that only women understand, she is just asking us why we don't talk about other things in this section as well. Basically, I believe she is saying that we, as women, are more than just periods, and maybe our section should reflect that a little more. This is probably a little difficult because those other things that make us who we are might fit more properly into another section on PC.

I don't think you were being snarky at all, as I completely saw where you were coming from.

In my eyes, this section is to post anything to do with being a female that men won't understand or something we simply don't want their opinions on . I think that anything includes having periods, understanding birth control, but also other topics too, such as the treatment we get from health professionals or even the fact that in the US women are not making equal money to men in the workforce (something most men are in complete ignorance or denial over). So, really, post away about anything at all!

Take care!
,
Ro

I once had a dentist, while pulling a molar during my eighth month of pregnancy and having me shreik when he injected the needle of novocaine and moan loudly, proclaim" Yeesh. If you can't handle a needle how on earth are you going to deliver a baby?"

EXCUUUUUUUUUSE me?

Y'know, my parents brought me up to believe that I am no different than anyone else based on my gender. I can do anything I want. I played baseball, played football with my brother. No one said a word.

Then I was 16 and a guy at work sexually harassed me. I told my GM who did nothing, called corporate who also did nothing. Eventually I was never allowed on the premises again for being a "trouble maker" and he got a promotion. This was the instance I realized how much sexism still occurs today and it makes me want to puke. Arg....now I gotta stop so I don't start yelling at the TV!

Thanks for starting new topic

For one thing, there's always the subject of MEN even though there is a relationship forum. This forum is obviously just for women only.

There's also the other good posts in this thread, like about the male-dominated medical profession and the inappropriate comment Lynn got from the doctor about why she doesn't have kids yet.

Is that all women are "destined" to do? Have kids? That was insulting to me, that you life is not complete without a husband & kids.

Sexism is alive and well, sexism is the number one most triggering thing for me. I wish I knew how to handle it better ah but I don't. I'm actually usually afraid to even mention the topic for fear of bein labelled with the "f" word, yup feminist. While I wouldn't label my self as anything, except a person who wants equality for all people, as soon as you mention a sexism problem pertaining to females, eyes, ears close "f" goes up and communication stops. Ok I'm bitter about this topic for sure. I don't think that's only my experience tho.

I have the same experience at the dr's office all the time, my bf receives quite a different standard of care. It it because I'm a female or because I have bipolar. Well both I assume. Receiving low quality health care because you are a female is not a myth of any sort. I have read a few article published on this exact topic. One was even directing women kn how to talk to dr's to get better care. Hmm I'll have to find that article.

[quote=salukigirl;1499839]Then I was 16 and a guy at work sexually harassed me. I told my GM who did nothing, called corporate who also did nothing. Eventually I was never allowed on the premises again for being a "trouble maker" and he got a promotion./quote]

I was sexually harrassed at work too, when I was 17 years-old, back in the late 80's. My co-worker rubbed my breasts repeatedly, as I was helping customers ~ right in front of them! That makes me SO angry!! Really unfair Just recalling it now brings those emotions right back. Probably because his disgusting behavior was completely unwanted. I kept telling him to back off and seriously pushing this guy away. He'd push me further, "Or what? What are you gonna do?" as he laughed. Yet HE gets rewarded a supervisor's position. I walked off the job and never went back. That's F'd up!

'good posts; yes, it is alive and well in workplace and medical profession....wherever men can dominate and display their ignorance
and prejudices they will...that's why we have laws against sexual
harassment in the workplace, tho in my experience in a univ. medical school setting, lewd behavior by a dr. toward me cost me my job..not
for filing the complaint, but because of the stress and wait involved
in getting transferred. if you think it's not a fight at 16, better think
again...fight for your rights all through your life...they don't get
away with their oppression over women...it's all judged in the end anyway.