Weight loss & body image

I've been overweight my entire adult life. At my last physical I weighed in at 210 lbs (I'm 5'7) This puts my BMI into the obese category. Plus I have high cholesterol and I don't want to take any more drugs - I'd rather try diet and excercise first. I decided that I was tired of being overweight and out of shape and like I said I was worrried aobut my cholesterol, so I went to see my family Dr. to get her recommendations. She said Weight Watchers, South Beach or a Registerd Dietician. I decided to go the dietician route since my supplemental insurance would cover it, and I wanted to learn about eating healthy too - not just loosing weight. So far it's been good, I'm loosing weight slowly but steadily - I've lost 15 lbs in the last two months, which she says means I'm losing body fat, is a healthy rate, and I'll likely keep it off.

Here's the weird part, before I started seing the dietician, I never really worried about how I looked, I knew I was overweight but always dressed attractively and professionally in + size clothing. I think too I was hiding behind my weight as a defence to keep guys away due to issues arrising from CSA. But basically I was ok with my body.

Then yesterday I went for a hair cut (hair now looks great) and of course they have these big mirrors so you really see yourself, and all I could see was a fat cow & I hated how I look. This is really the first time I've had a negative reaction to my weight.

I still have a lot of weight to take off - my goal weight is 135 - 140 lbs, so I know It's going to take months to get there. I just don't want to hate myself the whole time I'm getting there.

Has anyone else had a massive change in their perception of body image around weight and weightloss.

Thanks.

--splitimage

Same thing is happening to me. I've gone from 190 to 169 in 3 months but even though I'm now considered overweight, I had better self-esteem when I was obese. All I see is fat now. I am afraid I will get to my goal weight (another 30-35 pounds) and still look like a fat cow.

Nobody tells you about this part of weight loss, nobody says how it messes with your mind.

so i don't know if any of this will even help you at all but i'm going to put it out there. I was THE fat kid not a fat kid THE fat kid my whole life i was obese. and everyday all the kids made sure i knew it. and even then i didn't even realize how big i was for my age. by the time i reahced 13 i quit eating i dropped to 125 lbs and thought i was fat i mean i still thought i was fat i still wore sizes that hid my body never showed skin i look back at pictures now and think was i crazy. i had my son and while i was pregnant i quit smoking and drinking and balooned up to 210 pounds starting weight 135 pounds yeah tht was all me after that i stayed around 165 for a long time. i don't buy nice clothes for myself because i punish myeslf for my weight i won't go out in public because people will look at my arms or whatever i look like a slob on and on and on. i did a lot of labor jobs for awhile dropped back down to 145 for a few years back got screwed up long story short my weight stays between 150 to 160 that's my body weight. i'm fine with that (some days) id be lying if otherwise. i thik what i'm trying to get at is everyday i'm scared to death of balooning back up when you loose weight your scared of gaining it all back and being the fat person again. i'd rather be fat and not lose any weight than be fat lose the weight than gain it all back. and i'm on my way to gaining weight back because of my back probles an d not being able to do much exercize...right now...anyone elses but hurt from sitting too much .. anywayz hope some of this makes sense to someone

I read these posts and it was if I had written them myself. I gained weight in my earlier college years going through medical issues and never got it off. I have lost 65 lbs now but am still considered obese (5'7" 215 lbs stabilized now). I hate thinking and seeing myself as such. I avoid mirrors, pictures, and shy away from people because of it. It has one positive thing that people shy away from me too which being the survivor of a rape, keeps unwanted attention from me. In that I am grateful but only in that. Not enough to keep it on though. Embarassment keeps me from the gym b/c of the stares and comments I still get every time I try to go, and my hips and knees hurt so walking is an issue. I have been to dietician and eat the proper things and amounts, but w/o exercise, no more is coming off. I have to swim, do low impact aerobics, or cardio. I am frustrated and do not feel, on one hand, how I look; it is a different person. I don't know who this is. I used to be attractive, my appearance and frustration brings me to tears now. I miss the self confidence to say 'to heck with everyone else' and just go, but it gets to me.

Splitimage ,I have never been over weight,I am underweight,but I get picked on for that too.Especially as a child,was called such names .I think we all have something we don't like about ourselves.Personally,I am not into how someone 'appears' I never have based my thinking off that.I believe CSA indeed creates these body image issues.So much is connected to our rearing and the images the media puts out there flashing before our eyes.It really hurt to hear the name you called yourself.I think there is so much more to us than the physical.I understand your health concerns and think if you want to lose weight it should be to feel better physically.For health,not image.I think you will walk through alot of thoughts and feelings as you focus on your weight loss.Better to focus on eating healthy,having a bit of physical activity...doing things like getting the pretty hair cut is a good move.So is dressing nice.You will always be you irregardless of the physical.So I just think focus on learning to challenge your thinking ....if you speak mean to you ...correct it and be loving.....I hope as you focus on your health ,you also focus on nurturing self love.~W~

Way to go with the weight loss Splitimage! Those first steps are so important. The WANTING and FEELING better about yourself is great! I'm happy you love your new hair cut/style

As for looking in the big mirrors and seeing all of what still needs to be done, well, I think that is a normal part of realizing you are overweight. Set your goals, write it down, write what you did right. Reinforce the positive things you have done to loss the weight that is already gone. In my healthy lifestyle class, we keep track of everything we eat and drink along with the calorie count and the fat grams. And we have a pre determined goal for each day. If you like, I can look up what the calorie and fat gram count should be for someone of your weight. Not only will fiber make you feel full, it helps reduce your cholesterol too. You might get a bit of gas if you aren't used to eatting 10 grams at a time. And, it's also best if you get half of your daily fiber through fruits and veggies and the other half in whole grains (to help prevent all the gas problems)

I'm about 5 pounds from my ideal weight goal, but my real goal is to be healthier at what ever weight I'm at NOW. I've gone from 150.5 pounds in Jan 2010 to my current 130. That's down from my highest weight of 163. It all takes time and WORK. Mostly planning.

Pick foods that will fill you up, foods with fiber. One thing I've learned recently is to pick a breakfast ceral with at least 10 grams of fiber per serving and no more than 10 grams of sugar. All Bran is one! I mix it with 1/2 cup of yogurt, usually fat free or only 1.5 grams of fat per 8 oz serving. Yoplait strawberry 99% fat free is the greatest taste to me. It makes a great breakfast combined with a piece of fresh fruit and cup of black coffee.

And add walking or 150 minutes of exercise per week! You're on your way to a healthy body Splitimage

Mine wasn't massive weight loss but I got up to 180 lbs which was the biggest I've ever been (I'm almost 5'10'') so I was getting into the overweight category and have always been pretty skinny. So I took this job doing field work in NY and over the summer (working 40 hours outside basically hiking) I lost 35 lbs and got back down to my goal weight. Even though I was only overweight for a short time compared to my entire life, it still affected me. I still felt like I needed to lose more weight even though I was at my goal weight. I saw fat where there wasn't any. And I notice stretch marks and bulges more than when I was overweight. It's weird how that works.

Maybe the reason you are having these negative images is because you are paying attention to your habits? One change in life style can cause an avalanche. When I quit smoking it affected my other outlooks. I started paying more attention to how I spoke, dressed etc.... You are caring about yourself for the first time and that makes you see those 'imperfections' even more. What you need to learn to do is to just turn those negative images into motivation. Not saying "I hate the way I look" but "I have a long way to go and can't stop now"

Also you have to remember that weight or BMI is not necessarily a reflection of your health. My boyfriend has always been so down about his weight. He works out and doesn't lose weight. But he can run a 5k in 20 minutes at a steady pace without running out of breath. That, to me, is the reflection of health. I might not be at the weight the BMI index says I should be, but I can do pilates and yoga for an hour straight with good form and not feel tired so I have learned to be accepting of my weight. Just keep up the good work and good luck in your journey! You will be so amazingly proud of yourself and are an inspiration to a lot of people!

I am sorry you feel the way you do. I am feeling the same way about myself. I run and run but the weight just isn't going anywhere
Maybe working with a dietician will help you. Also, maybe join a gym and work with a personal trainer. I know I always feel better about myself after I workout. And salukigirl is right, BMI doesn't reflect your health. I have a high BMI and I am in perfect health. BMI doesn't account for the amount of muscle you have either. If you have a good amount of muscle (as I do from being a bodybuilder years ago) your BMI will be very high. Mine is VERY high but the doctor said it was because of the muscle because my fat precentage doesn't match up with the BMI.

Thanks for the responses and suggestions everyone. I'm glad I'm not the only person to experience weird shifts in perception around loosing weight.

I really am doing it for health reasons, and notice that as I'm eating better my skin looks a lot healthier which I like and I'm feeling better physically.

I'm still finding it hard to work exercise into the equation because fundamentally I hate it, and I'm really busy with job hunting and courses right now. But I know I need to at least start walking every day. My cardiovascular fitness is really bad, plus I have tachycardia from the meds I'm on, so I have to be really careful and start slow. But I do know I'll start walking eventually, when I'm ready.

I see my dietician this week so it'll be interesting to see what's happenned with my weight in the last 3 weeks.

Have you thought about doing some sport or dance or anything else that isn't just running or lifting? I absolutely hate running. I just don't get it. I have terrible joints (yes I'm saying that at 23 haha) and it kills me. Plus, you will NOT find me running unless there is a cop behind me.

So instead my boyfriend and I go play tennis. We both like playing and it's amazing how much you run and sweat because you're having fun and not thinking about it. I also did dance for a while which is very fun but can get expensive and time consuming. Hope you find something that works for you!

Good morning SplitImage, you say you really aren't into exercising? Well, the secret is to not "do exercising", but find something where you simply move more than sitting or being in bed. Then increase the movements as you go.

Walking is something most of us do everyday anyway and is so good for helping with the weight loss. Just add some little 'activity' to what you do now. If it is sitting at the computer for hours with job hunts, make yourself get up and walk a round about your house every 30 minutes or so. Park away from the grocery store doors, take the stairs, etc. It may not seem like a lot, but for those of us who don't enjoy 'exercise', that is a good way to increase daily movement.

Good luck with your apointment with your "diet guide".

im satisfied with how i look now, but in high school i wasnt very conifdent in my looks. i got compliments a lot but it got to me because boys didnt notice my brain just physical outside looks etc. I like to think im pretty and smart, not one or the other lol. i use to be really skinny, like my senior year in high school i weighed 95 pounds. now i am bigger lol i love to eat omg i love food (especially meat lol). but i think people should lose weight because THEY want to not because of a society thing. ?? maybe.. but weight issue is relative to me..

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