[mudgey]

Not sure where to post this, but I kind of needed to vent.... My husband is constantly talking to me (at me) about politics. I know what is going on in the country is important and keeping up with what the government is doing, but we don't agree on a lot of it. We have so much going on in our personal life, but when I try to talk about our finances or things going on with our kids, our life in general, he can't be bothered. It is driving me crazy. He puts so much into researching certain things in the political world, but can't put that effort into getting us out of debt. Plus, we have to work together sometimes and he and my boss get along, but don't agree politically at all. Just last week, they kind of got in a heated conversation. I've begged him not to talk politics or religion with my work people. I've told him to start a blog just to have a place to say what he thinks, but he says since he can't type good, that doesn't interest him. How do I get him to take it somewhere else and focus on us?

[EvilPopTart]

Maybe your husband should join a political party. That way he could discuss with other politically minded people, and hopefully it won't be such a constant topic of conversation in your personal life.

[mudgey]

Scary enough, one of our friends suggested that he go into politics. I did not marry a politician! I married a photographer! But maybe the politician would make more money?! But seriously, I think he gets to passionate about it to actually be involved in it if that makes sense. He started in on me this morning about stuff going on while I was getting ready for work. I finally told him- do you realize I'm not really listening to your rants? He says he's not ranting, I guess rambling would have been a better term.

[salukigirl]

Sounds like he just doesn't get the hint! Have you ever just said "shut up about politics already!!"? There is a kid in my dept that is like that. His "logic" doesn't make any sense and he refuses to listen to others' opinions on politics but talks about them constantly. I started just getting up and leaving the room. It might sound rude but some people just don't get it! I refuse to talk politics unless it is 2 people discussing differing opinions while being polite. Same with religion. I enjoy learning about others' point of views and finding new ways of looking at situations. But the second they start pushing their opinion as fact I just leave. I don't even give a warning. I do it to my bf too. If he is talking about the same thing (complaining usually) day after day, hour after hour...I just whip out the ol' trusty iPhone and stop paying attention. And I make it painfully obvious that I'm not paying attention. That's all they want. And you getting upset is still attention. Flat out ignoring them will get through faster than logic.

My suggestion would be to buy one of those empty spritzer bottles that you fill with water, normally used to dampen unruly hair. Then every time he starts about the politics you give him a little squirt.
It worked a treat with my dog, he would get obsessed with the little beads that adorn my sandles. Just a little squirt would stop him and now after about a week of this he wont touch them.

Its non violent and if he asks what right you have to squirt him gently explain that when you use your words to explain things to him it has no effect.
Dont forget, you must squirt every time he behaves badly or the message he will get is that sometimes he can do it and sometimes he cant...good luck and keep up the "I love you" and pats and rubs while re-training is going on.

[mudgey]

Truth Seeker- I LOVE it. I can only imagine his face when he gets squirted. That alone at least makes me laugh! Its like treating a bad cat. I also like the not paying attention by looking at the phone. I'm starting to do that. We had a bad psycho visit yesterday that has sent us to whole new level as he really irritated me. The visits are to help my son, but the doc is working with us first. I don't think my husband heard what the doc said yesterday. We got home and he immediately turned it around and did the wrong thing. Argh! Men! Thanks for everyone's advice!

[ladyjrnlist]

Maybe you could try talking to him about how you feel like you are being talked "at" all the time and that he doesn't hear you when you talk.
Ever tried couples' counseling? Might help get that out in a safe setting.

[mudgey]

@ ladyjrnlist- We did couples counseling before we got married 8 years ago! We have also done it recently. But we had to stop due to not having enough money to pay all the therapists and doctors. My son has Tourettes, OCD, ADHD, ODD and bipolar. This is the biggest "tension" in our marriage beside our financial issues. I know we are supposed to put ourselves first, but I feel like we have to get help for my son. So, we had to stop going to therapy. We did talk about this at one time because he made me so frustrated with it. But apparently our session didn't have long term meaning for him. These are the things I would like for him to focus on and talk about. I think I will point out the being talked "at" as that is a good way to look at it. I've just been ignoring him pretty much. We've both been really busy lately anyway.

[objtrbit]

Thought I'd throw this out there;

anytime I hear the words "government" or "society" anything like that, I start listening to what the person could be saying about the way the person was raised. I bet he's speaking volumes lol. I donno, one day, mid conversation, surprize him....ask him if he ever grew up in a family that "____" ya know, what ever it is he is heated over; chances are, it's not so much to do with politics, but maybe unresolved anger at past injustices?

I donno; at least it will give you something to do while he's talking about possibley boring stuff lol.