Abused - wrongfully arrested - no kids - need a divorce lawyer does pro bono work

Hello Everyone! I'm a 39 year old mother of two and married to my husband for 12 years and together almost 15 years. For many years I suffered from emotional, verbal and now physical abuse.

About two weeks he came home angry because I posted something on my Facebook wall. He said that I put his business out there. He said one of my family members told him about the posting since I removed him from my friend list earlier that day. What I had posted on my wall is something that I always told him. It wasn't a suprise.

We began to argue about it. I was remaining calm and he didn't like the fact that I wasn't getting upset. He threw water at me, spit in my face, then we were struggling I had my keys in my hand and he got scratched. He then kicked me in my leg.

After he kicked me, I told him that I was going to call the police. He pulled the house phone out of the wall so I wouldn't call the police. My cell phone was on the coffee table and I ran out to call 9-1-1.

First police officer on the scene didn't want to talk to me first. He wanted to speak to my husband first. Eventhough I was the one who called 9-1-1. Then a second officer came to speak to me. The officer didn't seem interested in what I had to say. I told him the story and also stated that I had bruises on my body. He didn't care to see them.

I was placed under arrested because my husband had marks on his neck. I was charged with a simple assault. I was wrongfully arrested. This was the first time that I ever had arrested in my life. At the police station, I stated that he should've been arrested as well and trying to tell them that I had bruises on my body. The officer told me that their investigation was closed. Not one police officer male or female took any pictures of my injuries.

I had a panic attack while I was being processed. The police department had called the ambulence. When the EMTs came I told them I was having a panic attack and I had brusies on my body and I wanted to be check by a doctor because the police failed to do so.

Before leaving to the hospital, the police gave me a copy of a restraining order which my husband put against me. He was rewarded temporary custody of my children and allowed to stay in my home. I'm not allowed to contact him or my kids.

I went to the emergency room the doctor noticed my bruises, documented it in his report. He also performed drug screening tests because I'm recovering addict. I wanted the drug screenings done so my husband can't I was on drugs.

I hired a lawyer and went to court. Since my husband didn't have an attorney, he wanted to obtain an attorney. Now we have another court date and I have to pay my attorney again.

We went before the judge so that she can amend the temporary restraining order so I can get to see my kids. The first thing out of his mouth was that I just came home from rehab and that he doesn't know where I am staying. He said I was staying with friends. I corrected that comment and telling I was staying with family not friends. The judge awarded him temporary custody of my kids but I get to see once a week.

I felt like he won that battle. I felf like no one cared that I was recovering from drugs and trying to get my life back together again. My husband has destroyed my life. This is what he wanted to happen. He never wanted me to succeed in my recovery. He always wanted me to fail and relapse.

I feel like I'm all alone and I don't have any support. I'm hoping to find an attorney who does pro bono work because I need a divorce asap. I can't afford $2,500 for an attorney to start the divorce process. Can anyone help me? Thank you.

I would recommend looking in your local yellow pages for legal aid.

There are resources out there for low-income and/or disabled people. I recommend that you find out who your local resource is, and give them a call. You don't need to to go into a full explanation of the incident until you are there, filling out papers, and then is when you would explain the circumstances.

I can sure understand your reasoning, in wanting things to be turned around NOW. But it just isn't that easy. Especially when you and your ex are working against one another. The whole process goes best (for everyone ~ kids included!) when an agreement is come to in mediation. Trials are very difficult emotionally, and courts are backed up.

I know it's tough ~ but try to re-approach your ex without emotion. Talk in the "I" state about your feelings and desires without attacking him. Not because you need to kiss his arse, but because you do need to change the road that you're taking. If he's still an a-hole, don't blow up on him. Let it roll off you and try another avenue. The more angry you sound, the more he will back away with the kids. And the court will side with him. If, however, you have been polite and careful to avoid insulting or attacking him, and he still backs away with the kids, the court will be more supportive of your rights to maintain 50/50 parenthood.

Whatever you do, don't focus on supposedly being pigeon-holed in an abusers hole. Generally, people who take that stance do not do well in court. You have to maintain control of your emotions ~ no outbursts in court or in meetings. You may correct your attorney, but it's best to do that privately so he can correct himself. It is a big battle, not fun at all, but you will get through it.

Thankfully, my ex and I went through mediation to avoid court completely. That worked very well for all of us. Please keep these things in your mind when you start feeling angry or resentful or picked on. I wasn't real happy with my situation either. But the courts #1 is the health of the children. Physical and emotional health. Who can provide the healthiest home? From there, comes the money. Income and health do enter the picture as well. The court does want both parents to spend as much time with their children as they can (if they are healthy enough to do that). 50/50 is the goal of the courtroom. But the children (where they are loved and taken care of, and can expect normalcy) is absolutely the #1 goal of the court.

Very best wishes to you ~ I hope that you and your ex are able to manage your problems more easily in the future.