Super awkward, women-only question!!

It has been FOREVER since I've been on PC, and I am realizing now how much I've missed it!

So I am close to being done with my pregnancy and I'm huge as ever, feeling like I have my own gravitational pull right now.... And I have an awkward, weird question that I could never imagine actually asking anyone about IRL, so any input is much appreciated cuz I don't have anyone else to talk to about this!!

I'm just going to put this out there. My husband is a sweet, supportive man who was not blessed in the size department. You know, down there. Which I thought was weird at first because he's 6'3 and all, but I guess that really doesn't have as much to do with it as I thought. Anyways, it really has never bothered me at all, and we have a great sex life regardless. But now I'm about to push out a baby. And I'm hearing all of this contrasting info on what is going to happen to me and my parts, cuz my doctor says everything will go completely back to normal, blah blah blah (I just can't believe that) and then I think common sense says that I'm going to be totally stretched out and sex is never going to be the same. I guess I'm just getting nervous... Like, do we only have another month of semi-enjoyable sex? (semi-enjoyable because I'm the size of a blimp) Are we going to be able to feel anything at all after the baby is born? Will I be able to satisfy him, and will he be able to satisfy me? Does anyone have any experience with this or know of anything I can do to make sure our sex life is still every bit as enjoyable with a post-baby vagina?

Yep. You squeeze out a watermellon and poof it all goes back in place. Isn't god great. If it didn't go back like it was men would not be so interested in "IT". No one would have more than one child by the same man.

All jokes aside it really does go right back. I had 2 9lb boys and a 7lb girl over the course of time and it's all right where I left it. My husband never declines and it all works just like it used to.

Having to wait 6 weeks after the baby to have sex again is the hard part. Hubby's will not mind even if things are not as snug as they were. Which has not been a problem for me. I morphed into 5ft 1 in cow and then some. (220 lbs) A 9 lb baby did not change anything that I know of.

Hi there ((LylaJean)) - so wonderful to hear from you and last we spoke, you just found out you were pregnant. I can't believe you're 8 months already. I can only speak for myself and I had 2 girls. They were both premature, so that may make a difference. Birthing experiences can be vast - some have to get an episiotomy, although there conflicting info on the topic. I also didn't have any meds in the delivery. I didn't notice a difference but when I researched this - there were so many differing opinions. If you end up with a tear that needs fixing, ask to make sure its done the right way. If someone does have this problem that lingers a good time later, there is surgery to remedy this. I heard Kegal exercises are good for this. Your hormones and breast feeding will also play a factor as well. Don't be embarrassed to talk about this. Personally I didn't notice a difference.

I read some women/cultures actually have a C section to avoid this and I think that's ridiculous unless its medically necessary. There's something very rewarding to giving birth vaginally and not interrupting it the easy way with surgery. I hope you have a smooth birthing experience and a healthy baby girl. Let us know when she arrives.

Thank you both for your replies! Lynn, it's so good to hear from you!! I've actually been trying to catch up on your posts.

We're doing a home birth, and my midwife actually teaches at conferences specifically on how to sew up tears, so I know if need be she'll be able to sew me up just fine...

I guess I'm just getting nervous. Looking at the size of a normal newborn compared to, well, myself, is quite daunting!!

you can even buy weights to do kegals with.....always think that is funny

I had four children and everything does go back...trust me....

I am quite small, and through complications at birth had 4th degree tearing (I had a thin membrane left between my rectum and the tear which required much stitching), I can feel a slight scar near my opening but other than that all lady bits are back to normal. And I'm just as tight as I was before (even though I kind of wish I wasn't, although my husband is average sized).

I also read the midwife can massage the area so there's less trauma. I was actually quite scared after hearing bad experiences with labor and women on TV. For me it was painful but I've had worse headaches /stomach aches. I'm sure your midwife will teach you how to relax through the pain. I'm so happy I didn't have any meds and cherish that experience...pain and all. Thank goodness for stretchy skin lol. Naturally there are times when meds are necessary and that fine too.

After I had my daughter, I returned to normal within a few weeks. The vagina has a way of expanding and stretching and the resilience to snap back quickly. You will be sore and bleed a bit for a few days but hopefully not to excess. I also found that my sex drive returned powerful and strong within a couple of months. Those first few weeks you will no doubt be tired and new born babies need a lot of attention and sleeping through the night usually is not on their radar. A baby changes everything. Birth is a natural event though and women have been doing it for centuries. Most of the time the complications are minimal and the joy of having a new born baby compensates many times over for the pain and discomfort that you may feel
I wish you well with your delivery. I am sure that you must be excited to welcome your new baby into your arms

It is amazing how nature works! Everything was fine after both pregnancies. No issues at all. If things "changed" so much after one baby....the population would be a lot smaller than it is. Both of my grandmothers had upward of 14 babies. I don't think my grandfathers had any complaints

Good for you. We live in a part of our state, VA, where home birth is widely accepted. All 3 of mine were born at the hospital. Two were induced. (14 days late ) One was natural. It was not the most comfortable thing ever but certainly the most positive. I wish I could have done a home birth. I think the relationship you have with your midwife and the comfort of your own home will make this a wonderful experience. The medicaly assisted birth seems so medical. I know that just make alot of since. It's not medical it a miracle. Rejoice in the experience and enjoy that baby. All your parts go back in place and God is ready for you to procreate far sooner then your mind will be. Little one's need alot of attention. But they are such a gift.

Everything goes back. I have scars from tearing but otherwise just the same, and I have 3 kids.

I've only known one person personally who had lasting complications from delivery, but hers was very much the exception, not the rule. In her case, as a child she had radiation treatments due to cancer which damaged the tissue around her perinium. She had extensive damage during delivery due to poor blood flow, again from the radiation exposure as a child, and she had to go through reconstructive surgery later. So, that is kind of what it takes for things to not go back into place following delivery. Has to be pretty extreme. I've delivered 3 children, all over 8 1/2 pounds, and all ended up just fine. It will be okay.

I was worried about the same thing for a few reasons, so worried I asked the doctors to give me a c-section to avoid it. They didn't but they did give me the "love stitch" (extra stitch) which ended up not mattering. Instead of doing seperate stitches they did one long stitch like when you lace your shoe laces, and the stitches came out days after I was discharged from the hospital. Talk about pain! That's what happens when trainees deliver your baby and not an actual doctor.

Anyways... So after my daughter (although I was married at the time) I pretty much ruled out sex all together (I was planning leaving my ex) and about a year and a half later, and after of course leaving, I met my fiance. While he's not small, not large either. He's exactly what we in the US call average. My daughter was 8lbs 13.9oz, big baby, so you understand my concern? The stitches didn't even heal properly, I was so worried he wouldn't feel anything.

Eventually when we became sexually active I brought up my concern about it being that way and he said it wasn't like that at all. And often still mentions that it's far from "loose" as some would call. And I can't say that he lies because honestly it hurts me when we have sex, and it always feels like he's stabbing me in the stomach, not to mention feels like I'm being torn apart sometimes.

Although you can't expect it to be the exact same, it is, much like your skin, it can stretch for a little bit but after a few days it goes back to its normal size (and luckily for these few days you can't have sex anyways) Imagine you eat and gain 15 pounds in a week. Then you diet and drop the 15 pounds, your skin goes back to normal as the elasticity is still in good shape since it wasn't stretched out for a prolonged period and only a short period, I'd assume it's the same with child birth and the private region.