I think I have PPD. Will they take my baby away from me if I seek help?

My LO is 5 months. I think I have postpartum depression or I'm bipolar...maybe both. I don't see my T until next Tuesday and I'm hoping I can make it that long before falling apart (she is off F, S, Su). I've been doing tons and tons of reading about ppd and pp psychosis. The more I read, the more I feel like I fall into the pp psychosis category.

Some of the stories I've read, the moms were hospitalized for a few days and did not see their baby. I can't deal with not seeing her. If I come forward and spill out how bad things are for me mentally right now and they take my baby (even if that means my hubby is caring for her) I just don't think I can deal. I'm scared of mental hospitals. These two things are keeping me from coming forward about my feelings.

I tried the "ask a therapist" link but it keeps asking me to login in over and over again....must be broken.

Will they keep my baby away from me if I tell how bad things are?

The most important thing is to distinguish between ideation and plans. When you talk, you should be crystal clear that you have some ideation and no plan. You do not plan to harm your baby, you do not plan to take your life, etc. etc. Use those exact terms, so the T realizes that you are in the know.

I have never had PPD, but before my second child was born, the day before, I wrote a mildly suicidal letter that frightened the recipient who then notified my doctor. After I delivered my daughter, a psychiatrist came to the delivery room with the intention to assess me and possibly hospitalize me. I said that sure, I had had some bad ideation before but had absolutely no plan atm (or ever had had). And repeated it several times. "No plan". She backed off. I went home with my daughter and breastfed her for four and a half years. Had I been hospitalized without her, she would have been formula fed. So yes, it is very important to stay with the child.

Postpartum Depression - Forums at Psych Central - a forum for PPD. Very low traffic though, but still worth reposting there.

Is LO Little One?

Does your H know? What is the financial situation? Can you afford help in the household? Is there a family member to come sit in the house if you feel you cannot handle being with your LO one-on-one?

It is not likely you will be hospitalized for depression, unless it is extreme or you are threatening to harm yourself. I think Hamster offered some good suggestions for talking with your therapist. Basically they make decisions based on what you tell them. You want to be honest but d not exaggerate or embellish what you say.

I went through ppd after the birth of my only child, but my attachment to her was so strong that I would have done anything to be there for her and to nurture/protect her.

When I went through my three miscarriages though, it was very different though. Each time I went through a time of depression, but much of that was related to a profound sense of loss. That bond between a mother and the child that she is carrying ever in the early months is very strong.

I think the fact that you are worried about what might happen is a good sign in a way. I am sure that you treasure your daughter greatly or you would not even be concerned. Things are tough for a new mother. The demands and the fatigue seem to be unending. That precious life to whom you gave birth makes it all with it

Hugs, I am cheering for you. Take care of yourself too or you are not so good for your baby

Katy, how are you doing?

I'm doing well, thanks for asking. I appreciate your advice. My husband knows something is up but I have not divulged all the details to him. He had to go out of town this weekend which made things harder on me. I spent the day with family (which I don't typically like to do - that's a long story for another time) so I was able to get brief breaks throughout the day since LO (little one) wasn't demanding my attention all day long.

I'm still scared to come forward with all this. I have been suicidal in the past and have made attempts that failed without anyone knowing about it. T knows about some of the attempts. I don't have any plans now. My mind just dwells in the idea of how nice it would be to not have to deal with everything. Its just different now with having a child. The thought of her growing up without me scares me that it's pushing me harder to do something about being so darn depressed.

I'm going to ask about meds when I see my T on Tuesday. I really don't want to go on meds since the only thing I take right now is a daily vitamins. My goal is to nurse my LO until she is a year old and I'm concerned what effects meds will have on my supply and if the meds will pass through my milk.

Thanks for listening and for checking up on me. It really means a lot!

I understand the thought process but it is faulty.

No, it would not be nice not to deal with everything. For something to be nice, you need a live person who appreciates the nice situation and takes pleasure in it. If you remove yourself from life, there won't be anybody to enjoy how nice the situation is. 'Nice' is a matter of perception, and perception requires a live human being.

It is good that you take prenatal vitamins, but they probably do not contain that much iron and vitamin D, and a deficiency in those can contribute as a physical cause of depression. See a family physician for a blood panel to rule that out. Thyroid also needs. To be checked.

Doing better now?

hey. I had post postpartum depression and was terrified every evening at dark. I ended up going to a family practice, of general practioners. They could get me in immediately vs a p doc or T. They put me on zoloft first thing. And gave me xanax for the time being, neither which hurt the nursing baby. I still take zoloft. 5 years later. It might or might not have been postpartum depression. It took care of the symptoms and still helps. I also got my first T w/ in the week. My T wanted to keep my family intact. The goal is to get help not tare families apart.

As for the bipolar issues. That should not be a problem. People are not committed just because they are bipolar. Look at how many bipolar people have kids. There is somone else in your house hold to help watch after the child to. You are married?

Do check out the post postpartum section here. It is small but there may be xomething of use.

If you truly had postpartum psychosis you probably wouldn't be wondering if you had it. Are you having hallucinations or delusions? Intrusive thoughts are common in PPD and are not a reason to take a baby away. If you have no plans to hurt yourself or others you wont be put in the hospital either. I remember having all of the worries you have now, and none of them came true when I stepped forward and asked for help.

I wish you all the best . If you want to talk privately its ok.

I'm not sure what to tell you exactly; but I wish I had tried to get some help when my kids were younger. I knew I had a problem but I was also afraid of my kids being taken away from me if I sought help; but in the long run, they have suffered.

Hi Katy,

Just thought you'd like to know if your worried about the possibility of being bipolar that my favourite uncle is bipolar, is a happily married man and step father to her three wonderfully boisterous boys, one of which he has raised almost from birth! and they are expecting their first child together any day now! Being bipolar does not mean you cannot look after your child, or any one elses for that matter! If anyone proved that to me my uncle did

You sound like you are reaching out to your supports which I give you lot's of kuddos for. Between your natural supports and your Dr / Therapist there should be a way to avoid being hospitalized. PLEASE talk to your Dr / Therapist. If your issues are left untreated / hidden bad things can happen.
As a social worker I've seen it As a mom with two children and a mental health dx I can tell you this, I can relate on so many levels. You sound like you have ton's of supports and options.... Long term getting help will be the best thing you can do for you and your family. If you don't get help from DR / Therapist please have some one come and help you with the baby when your husband isn't home. That person can help support you and give you a heads up if something isn't right...... You are in my thoughts and prayers and I wish you luck.