[kala83]

so this is not something I have brought up a whole ton, caus honestly its kind of a guessing game for me right now.
but its a sure bet that with all my nurological issues I have had before in the past that the idea of childeren might be a far cry for someone like me.

I have not recently been reminded of this usually I pass it off easily enough by reminding myself I have a hard enough time taking care of my self a child would only be work and more stress for me to deal with.

but since a lot of my close friends are starting to date again and I am reminded that in three months from now I will be the big three zero (le gasp)

and my hanging out around the local knitting shop which I have not done in a while its noticeable that.
people either want to have kids and families or are already starting to have them.

And I feel as though I will always be one step behind in my knowledge of kids cause from a fairly young age I was told my neurologists it would be rather hard for me to have kids and if I ever did I would be a fairly high risk pregnancy at that.

its sounds stupid but I feel as though a part of my self as women has been rubbed from me in some way. Not being able to fully carry a baby and bring into the world is a hard thing for me to swallow its natural...and for me being pagan nature is a huge part of me.

[healingme4me]

What does your OB/GYN say about your ability to bear children?

[kala83]

I have not really brought it up with him I just recently got diagnosed with HPV also so the risk of me potentially having cervical cancer is a fairly high one.

not to mention right now I also have an IUD in place.

the topic of actually literally having children varies for me. Cause I struggle a lot of with my own issues right now so having a child I know is not a wise choice for me in the least right now.

so it sort of gets pushed to the back burner so to speak.

[lynn P.]

((kala83)) - is there any medical reason for you not having a baby in the future? How do you know you might be infertile? If you have HPV its important to get regular PAP smears done. Best thing is to work on getting yourself strong/healthy and financially stable ....then start thinking about a baby. I think its nice to want a baby but it takes some planning.

[kala83]

oh I totally understand it does take planning its just one of those things I have pretty much been told through out my life with my issues of my seizures and neurological issues that if I did ever want to it would be very hard for me to do and VERY high risk.

and its something I am just realizing I might have to come terms with might not ever be possible for me.

[Raging Quiet]

(((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

I have infertility issues and for me, it's incredibly painful. My younger sister got pregnant a few years ago and it sent me rock bottom. I had checks at the hospital to make sure I had eggs and was ovulating (I had an ED for 12+ years) but our infertility is caused by my stupid womb and my husband shooting blanks.

Take care xxx