[Luna Loco]

I'm wondering if anyone here ever feels invisible to their spouses, children, and family. I can't be alone in this, but it feels so utterly and painstakingly lonely. It hurts knowing I've reached out to people I care about, and because I smother them with my problems when they ask (I don't insist they ask - THEY DO IT OF THEIR OWN WILL), they get vehement (especially my extended family) and see my actions of trying to help my mental illness as a weakness and shortcoming. The bad part is, they'll throw money at me in an instant, but I don't want their damn money. I want their understanding, time, and love. I don't think I'll ever be able to let go how they treat me when I'm out of sorts emotionally. For so many years I've been quiet. I've made my way through post-partum depression, now that's long gone, I'm struggling as a married Mom and feel like I'm raising my kid mostly alone.

I want to be the Mom and Wife my Mother couldn't take it upon herself to be. I don't want to sit here living in the past, I want a better future. I also don't deserve the emotional abuse that has been handed to me from my extended family. I don't want to recieve it anymore. Things are all fine and dandy when everything goes well, but give me one instance where I'm off balance and they find fault with ME.

I take responsibility in my life. I'm not lazy, I'm just hopeless right now. I'll be seeing a therapist soon. Otherwise, I'll be staring out into space taking care of my kid and being a dutiful wife while trying to build my dreams of writing novels (that is emotionally exhausting itself, but I find value in my life when I write. If I can ever write again, with all that's going on at home.)

Do you ever feel invisible? How are you able find purpose in your daily life?

Thanks for any thoughts. I'm still trying to figure out what is going to work for me.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I used to feel like this for a long time. Therapy has helped some and it hope it can be of some use to you too.

[hamster-bamster]

I don't feel invisible, but I wonder what you mean saying that the extended family would throw money at you. Do you mean that they would pay to improve your mental health? Then take the money, hire a sitter, get a massage... and write them a thank you note. And if they buy you weekly massages, tell them how grateful you are. And calm. Really.

[Luna Loco]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I don't feel invisible, but I wonder what you mean saying that the extended family would throw money at you. Do you mean that they would pay to improve your mental health? Then take the money, hire a sitter, get a massage... and write them a thank you note. And if they buy you weekly massages, tell them how grateful you are. And calm. Really.

I'm grateful for the help I get and their offers, but I do not appreciate the avoidance of them not wanting extend a listening ear with understanding. There are times when that is all it takes to improve a situation - being a friend. Money can't buy those things. Maybe this makes sense?

It's a case of self-worth on my end and being grateful, yes, but recognizing the sad truth that they'd rather offer money in place of themselves when I love them so much. It couldn't hurt for me to be a little more understanding towards them and in turn I'm sure they will eventually come around to being more understanding toward my mental health, also. I'm not going to wait around for them, though. I need help. I'm getting it, and trying to do what's right for me.

[hamster-bamster]

Maybe combine money and company? Say, going with a female relative to a salon if she wants to treat you to a pedicure? You can have a light chat. Same for branches. Also, Michaels offers reasonably priced crafts classes that you can take together with family. Light chatting, pleasant activities together might be better than, say, calling on the phone, because there are distractions