Why is it important to look pretty?

The people at this place I worked at last year for Christmas didn't like the idea that I hate makeup and fancy clothes. This one in particular who drove me home kept offering to give me a makeover. It made me feel like I was in high school again. I ignored her because I'm happy wearing sweats.
She said that jobs won't hire me looking the way I do. (I'm really clean and neat, I just wear comfortable stuff), or that I won't be taken seriously at all.

Why is it assumed that women in particular should wear these things or spend a lot of time on the way they look? I'm in my 20's but I have dressed this way since I was 8.

I agree, it is unfair. In a way it is keeping women down, imagine if you added up all the hours people spend on hair, make-up, looks, shopping, imagine how much else they could be doing! Go-karting, knitting, learning to cook Italian food, preparing for work, reading books, etc. Life is too short!

For the women who always have to dress in the latest fashions and wear make up all the time, it's probably that (they think) your casualness subtracts from their stylishness. They don't want to be seen without, so it makes them uncomfortable to see someone without. I wouldn't wear sweats to a job interview, but I'd rather be comfortable than not.

I'm with you on this subject, but what that makeover lady said is true -- I have definitely not been taken seriously because I don't look the part. It's been a huge problem for me. When I was in my 20s I could get away with it - as a 30something year old, I can't.

If someone offered to do a makeover on me at this point, I would accept - at least I would have one outfit I could wear to business meetings!

I have friend who just enjoy it. They don't feel they have on their days off but do sometimes because its fun for them. Now, saying that, for her job its required to look professional and part of that is the makeup look. She is a branch manager of a bank. So yeah.

I prefer to be healthy which I think makes me look good naturally. Make up makes my face feel dirty compared to lotion and lip balm. High heels and dressy clothes are mostly. uncomfortable. I've heard dress for the job you want or dress for success, but I just dressed up for interviews.
There is the old adage if you look good you feel good, but I don't think that means fashionable or dressy. The worst invention ever is a bra; gah! That's the first thing I take off.

I hate make-up and uncomfortable clothes too and so never wear them. Don't let anyone talk you into following sexist clothing conventions that don't please you. You'll get much farther in life if you're comfortable with who you are and feel confident in how you look.

For things like job interviews or working in a business environment, you should be able to come up with decent looking outfits which are still comfortable. Loose skirts or elastic-waist slacks, a stretch camisole under your blouse instead of a bra if you don't like bras, flat dress shoes if you don't like heals. If other people think you should be more 'stylish' that's really their problem.

Her continuous offers of giving you a make-over are by far more rude, socially inept, and crass than any form of dress code.

I think that dress should be depending on the job or situation - some jobs/situations call for formal clothes, others for business, others business-casual and so on. But it doesn't mean that someone has to dress like a fashion model - if someone doesn't like to wear high heels then they sure don't have to! There are lots of shoes available that are flat. Same with dresses vs trousers - there are always options between the two.

It's not too hard to find clothes that are comfortable regardless of the situation. Will it necessarily be "fashionable"? No. But if that doesn't matter to you, then how you look shouldn't matter to anyone else either! As long as you are following the dress-code of where you are, then you're fine. And being clean.

I'm a teacher, so I have a lot of freedom. There are days where I wear yoga pants and runners, days where I wear nice dresses, days where I'm dressed business-casual. The only thing I do not do as it is inappropriate would be to wear super-revealing clothes. I wear make up or not depending on how I feel that day, and I'm totally alright with that (I actually think it's healthy for the kids to see that I'm still me and the same whether I'm dressed nicely or not!)

Anyone who puts pressure on anyone else to look a certain way is ridiculous and the problem lies with them!

Unless your boss tells you other wise then be yourself and if a co workers doesn't like it then tuff ! Tell her I don't tell you what to do so have some respect and accept me as who I am .

THAT!

To OP -

Per the title of the thread, I thought that this would be a general discussion, but after reading the OP, I started thinking that perhaps you needed help on what to do about this pest of a broad who keeps nagging you with her stupid makeover "offers"?

If indeed that is what you intended to get from opening the thread, then we can think, collectively, of a retort, ie. a witty, short, well punctuated line that would stop her in her tracks and make her remember to never "offer" you makeovers.

Why not try smart casual? Comfy shoes and a nice jumper over a shirt can be just as easy to wear. Make up is also good at multitasking these days; tinted moisturizers, eyelash/eyebrow dye, tinted lipbalms...there are very subtle ways to improve your looks without going overboard or having to put a lot of work into it. Personally i don't feel you should have to change for anyone but if the pressure won't go away and you want a short route to fixing the issue, there are ways to do it. You don't have to look pretty but perhaps feeling more presentable would put this issue to bed? All the best.

Maybe I'm on the other end of this, but I think the ultra "casual" (read...lazy and sloppy) look is just not flattering. I live in a white trash, redneck sort of area where people go out in pajama bottoms and flip flops, and it just isn't a good look! Like it or not, you are judged by how you present yourself to the world. Employers who don't like your look won't hire you. You are free to dress as you please, but don't expect to conquer the world (or even get that job....or guy....you have your eye on) because we ARE judged by how we look. Now don't get me wrong, you don't need to follow all the latest trends and go all out with wardrobe, makeup and hair. However, making yourself presentable can go a long way. If you go for a classic look, you can keep the same clothes for years and thus you aren't really spending a lot of money or time to keep up with trends. The same goes with makeup. You can do simple things and develop a routine that only takes a few minutes out of your morning. You get a haircut that is simple yet stylish. All of these things can make you a lot more presentable (while still remaining comfortable!), with minimal extra effort.

Maybe my Eastern Europeaness, but I think sweatpants are for gym. I don't know, I would feel superawkward if I went out slacky.

If you can go out undone and not feel like you have huge neon sign "AWKWARD SLACK" above your head, than earth to you. I couldn't do it.

OP - I just noticed that you have a lot of diagnoses.

^Epilepsy {1993} ^ADHD {c. 1998} ^ASD {2000} ^GAD {2003} ^OCD {2003} ^MDD {2009} ^PTSD {2011}

Not that it IS the case, but it MIGHT be the case, that a combination of depression and anxiety leads you to settle into this comfortable and reassuring mode of wearing the same type of sweats you wore when you were 8. Maybe you are not taking any risks with clothing and not experimenting with anything new due to continuous low grade depression coupled with persistent anxiety. In other words, the comfortable clothing might be your security blanket, using an American expression.

again - this is just an idea that seems worth exploring as a "might this be the case?"

You don't need to spend too much time on simple makeup. I just apply eyeshadow and eyeliner, and tie my hair back. It takes less than 5 minutes. Clothes other than sweats can be comfortable too.. I used to wear the same sweats everyday, I hated shopping like it was a chore, but I enjoy shopping casually now.

She was probably not realizing it's offensive to you. She thinks it could be a fun thing for the two of you to spend time together, and just wants to help. Don't take it personally, tell her that you will ask her when you actually want her help, I guess.

I always used to wear makeup but I enjoyed it, it can make a big difference. Nowadays I still enjoy it but rarely go out so I rarely use it. I couldn't use anything goopy now, I use mineral stuff. I always wanted to makeover a friend only because it was one thing I could do for her and sometimes it gives a lift to look in the mirror and see a pretty face looking back at you.

The bad thing for me about comfy clothes like sweats is I tend to gain weight. When I put on jeans I'm all oh dang no elastic waist lol.

Well, if a guy is worth it he will like me fine the way I am. I don't need to impress anyone. I would rather be alone with the real me than be someone else just for a bunch of other people.

If males don't have to go to these lengths to be accepted, why should females?

I find that the simple change from sweat pants to yoga pants makes an appreciable, not-so-subtle difference. Yoga pants are as comfy as sweats, but are shaped differently, and the look in yoga pants is much more "put together" than in sweat pants.

The same goes for switching from using sweat tops to using tunics. The material and comfiness (there is no such word??) are similar, but the shape and lines are different and the effect can be quite a wow. I had a yoga teacher in the past (she moved to SoCal and I sure miss her), Kathy, who was a super attractive blonde woman in her early 50s, and she always wore black yoga pants, a black tunic, and a necklace. She varied the necklaces and they were often colorful - like a burst of color against an all black background. Of course, the contrast between her straight shoulder-length hair that was blonde and the straight, neat, elongated black clothing (long legs, long sleeves, everything straight and elongated) was also well thought through and visually appealing.

No makeup on her.

I am just observing how making small and subtle changes can yield fantastic results.

I agree on yoga pants, but they look awful on me showing every bulge. I feel like I'm wearing sausage casing, but my pilates instructor looked really chic in hers.

I forgot to mention that yeah, my former yoga instructor is svelte.


I can wear yoga pants, but only if the top covers my butt all the way.

I like yoga pants.

I wear the same jacket over all my clothing in cold months..

No idea. I don't feel better with what people call a pretty and feminine appearance. I do care about the way I look though, it's just not in the same way most women do so.

I think the media plays a big role in the social construction of image in general.

You should dress whatever way you are comfortable dressing.

Wearing makeup or fancy clothes is just that, it's just a costume at the end of the day.