I think I went on a date this week...

A guy at work (who I hadn't met before) asked me to lunch this week. Before that, we exchanged a few fun (kind of flirty) e-mails. The day we met for lunch was the first time we met in person. I was so nervous, but as soon as I went outside to meet him, I felt so comfortable with him. Lunch was lovely. He's lovely. I'm more smitten than I want to be. Since then, he has stopped by my window twice a day to invite me on a smoke break with him. We've had nice chats.

He's a musician in his spare time and asked me to go see him play in a pub tonight. One of my colleagues said to me yesterday, "Have fun on your date tomorrow night!" and I responded with, "I don't think it's a date" and she said, "Of course it is!"

So, I really have no idea if it IS a date. I'm all befuddled. I'm afraid of misreading signals (again!) and getting disappointed or hurt. I like this guy much more than the last guy... and I wish I didn't. I used to trust my intuition and thought I was pretty good at reading guys' motives, but my recent experience with the British guy who was taking me out and then felt "no sparks" with me, confused the heck out of me...

I'm just rambling here. I'm nervous about tonight. This guy has such an effect on me and that's freaking me out because we just met. He makes me feel weak in the knees just by looking at me... and that scares me. Maybe he invites LOTS of girls to see him play. I dunno. I'm so freaking nervous and confused. I really want him to like me the way I like him. I really don't want to get hurt.

Any thoughts? Does the lunch thing sound like a date? Do you think I'm going on a date tonight?

Juliana,

You're such a great writer!!!

I would try to keep your emotions somewhat in check, if possible, b/c of the stupid Brit. Musicians are pretty sexy in general.

You are a very pretty lady, just be careful, and give yourself a little time.

((((((Juliana)))))

Hugs,

EJ

Thanks EJ. I'm trying to keep my emotions in check. It's hard, though. Before I met this guy, my colleague saw him checking me out and pointed him out to me and I thought he was very attractive. Then, I came face with him a week ago and he was looking at me and I felt my knees go completely weak and I sort of floated away without saying a word. I knew I was in trouble at that point. It has been SO many years (about 10 years actually) since a man has had that kind of effect on me -- just by looking at me. When I got the e-mail from him asking me to lunch, I was in the middle of a meeting. I read the e-mail, felt all giddy and totally lost my train of thought and my intern asked me why I was blushing. Grrrr... I hate feeling this way. It's scary.

I have left it up to him to make all the first moves and I plan to continue doing that. I'm not going to wear my heart on my sleeve... but he makes me feel swoooony... and I wish he didn't. I'm so damn nervous right now!

I should have known he would turn out to be a musician. Only musicians can have this effect on me.

So is this the guy that you thought you might care to have a make out session in the courtyard of the University?

Um... yup. We chat and smoke together in the courtyard twice a day. He gives me impure thoughts.

Well ... good for you.

Swooney is fun but keeping it in check... and nerves. Oh what a bundle.... of fun, and nerves and .....

What is it about musicians do you think?

My ex-boyfriend is a musician. I thought he was the love of my life when we were together (we were together for a long time) and now he's my best friend. I didn't know he was a musician when I first met him either. I tend to get a sense of a gentle spirit and a sensitivity from men who are musicians. That's always my first impression of them -- even before I know they're musicians. I play piano and flute and used to sing competitively, and I'm creative and artsy and I guess I feel a kinship with other creative people.

Most of my close male friends are musicians and about 80% of the men I have dated have been musicians.

So many of my friends complain about the men in their lives being uncommunicative, unemotional, etc. I have never experienced that in any of my relationships. All the men I've dated have been very emotional, sensitive, open, talkative, etc. I'm guessing that personality is more common amongst musicians... and I'm drawn to that personality type.

They usually have long hair and beards too... and I have a thing for long hair and beards. Mmmmm....

Juliana,

Sounds like you are in for the time of your life this evening!!

Keep one foot on the ground, and you won't get into too much trouble -- I think -- LOL!!

Hugs,

EJ

Juliana and Friends,

BTW, my childhood friend is married to a musician, and she has never been happier.

Hugs,

EJ

I'd just take your cues from him as to what his intentions are. You know your own limitations and boundaries as far as men & dates go. Just behave in a way that won't make you feel sick to your stomach afterwards.

A pub? If you drink...be extra careful. Musicians stay up LATE. Even one drink per hour could lead to complete falldownness.

And there is something about a guy on stage. If off stage he is a 5...on stage the same guy is an 8. So, if you are smitten now - well, you'll be in big trouble then!!

Have fun. Be careful of your heart. But mostly, have fun.

em

woohoo! He sounds hot! I wish I could be a 'fly on the wall'! I can't wait for an up date!

You must not lose faith in humanity.
Humanity is an ocean;
if a few drops of the ocean are dirty,
the ocean does not become dirty.
~Mahatma Gandhi~

i'm waiting with bated breath.......... you know what i think about this.......have fun and e.mail me immediately!!!

aren't ya glad ya didn't have......PM me for the rest hahahahahaha

add me to the PM toooooo!

You must not lose faith in humanity.
Humanity is an ocean;
if a few drops of the ocean are dirty,
the ocean does not become dirty.
~Mahatma Gandhi~

I wish I could everyone an update on my afternoon/evening with Mr. X, but I'm all confused. I spent about 8 hours with him -- seeing him play in a pub, seeing other people play, chatting, having drinks and dinner, going to another pub to see someone else play, going back to his house with a bunch of people. I got some very mixed messages. He was super-friendly and chatty and flirty and really focused on me through most of the time, but by the time everyone got back to his house, I suddenly felt like I was invisible. He was talking about music with another musician (a guy he went to college with I think).

Then, later, everyone left except me and one other person and the three of us started talking about depression. We were talking about a musician friend of ours who seems to be doing much better. This particular guy's wife left him right after she gave birth to their baby and he had quite a breakdown and took it very, very hard... He ended up staying with my ex-boyfriend for a few months because he was such a mess he couldn't function on his own. Then Mr. X said "After my last break-up it took me 2 years to stop thinking about her everyday, so now I just don't get into relationships." So, that made me feel not so great. I decided shortly after that I was going to go home. He wanted me to stay and have one more drink, but I just felt kind of miserable (alcohol really is a depressant for me -- even though I only had 4 drinks). He gave me a lovely, tight hug and told me he's so glad we met and wants to make the Saturday matinee outing a regular thing. (He had also mentioned us having dinner soon at restaurant behind his place earlier in the evening.) I just felt confused and miserable when I got home. Still feeling confused and kind of sad. I really like him, but I don't have any idea what's going on in his head. If I had come home 2 hours earlier, I would have left feeling convinced that he was interested in me, but the evening took a rather depressing turn.

sweetie it could have been the drink and topic, not you
see if ya can get him to do things without the bar scene, okay?

(((((juliana)))))

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
so now I just don't get into relationships.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

well ..... maybe it was his way of saying how important it is that you know he's interested and doesn't want to get hurt himself ........?

I think it still sounds like a good date. But we can whip butt if ya want.

You must not lose faith in humanity.
Humanity is an ocean;
if a few drops of the ocean are dirty,
the ocean does not become dirty.
~Mahatma Gandhi~

yes, we can!!! we're here for whatever it takes.......xoxox pat

These things sound date-like to me.

When I first met my husband, and we were dating, I didn't know if we were boyfriend and girlfriend, but I was too embarrassed to ask. (Hi, I'm 13). After a couple of weeks, I was really getting hung up about the whole thing. Then one day he introduced me to his friend by saing, "This is my girlfriend." Whew. I could stop sweating.

Go along with it, be smitten, have fun. Hopefully things will naturally develop so you can figure out what the hell is going on, ha ha.

Edited to add: Oh crap. I neglected to read the post about when you got together with him at the bar. By the way, do you talk with him on the phone? Any plans to go out to dinner/do something not involving his music or the bar scene?