Help!! I hate my body!

To start I guess I should say what I hate. Well, I feel incredibly fat, I have acne, I have issues with razor bumps/burn, "chicken skin", body hair that grows fast, pretty much I just feel so ugly. So this is going to be long.

Ever since I was a little girl I have always had weight issues!! I've always been big, I was the fattest of my life back in Middle School until I couldn't take it anymore and went anorexic, I stayed anorexic for a few years until I was able to stop and get at a healthy weight. However, suddenly after a stay at my sisters for a month, I suddenly gained a lot of weight when I got back home!! About 10-15 pounds if not more and I feel so fat again, I feel like I'm back at square one!!! Well, I am doing 400 crunches a night to try to get rid of this belly fat and eating healthy but I don't know what to do!!!

I feel stuck! I can't get my acne to fade even though I try to wash my face all through the day!! If I feel greasy or sweaty I use a face wipe!! I also do aspirin masks and other face masks at times, but it won't go away!!!!

Suddenly I have gained weight again and am breaking out like crazy!!!! On my face even this spot of skin between and above my breasts!!! My upper arms have "chicken skin" as well as my back even though I do use lotion though maybe not as often as I should??

I also have MAJOR body hair issues...I am Italian so people just brush it off and say oh well its cause you're Italian...but I feel so ugly and disgusting!!!! I grow hair pretty much everywhere!!! and when growing up this freaked me out!! No one told me it was normal, no one was there for me to say hey it's okay, before it was just peach fuzz but it freaked me out because I didn't know it was normal or okay so I shaved it all through middle and highschool I shaved pretty much everywhere to get rid of that peach fuzz and now it's dark coarse and long and grows FAST now I feel screwed..it'll never go away or stop!!! It's embarrassing and I feel horrible!!! I feel like I have to shave every day!!! I grow dark long hairs on my breasts, in between my breasts and a little spot on my chest, my upper lip, chin, stomach, arms, the back of my thighs, all around the bikini area and of course my vagina too....it doesn't seem normal!!! and I feel so gross!!!! I shave every other day but the very next day it's already growing back and quite long!!!! I can't afford laser hair removal and creams are bad I heard what do I do!? I also have/get bad razor bumps along my bikini area, I feel like it's gross if I don't shave it but when I do I still feel gross because of the red bumps that won't go away...

I feel so ugly and like I always will be ugly, I'm so depressed and don't want to be seen by anyone!!! I don't even feel comfortable with the thought of trying to be with a man in any sexual way or even anyone seeing me in a swimsuit...I am 20 years old and am scared to be touched by my boyfriend even hugs I suck it in and don't enjoy it because I feel so fat...I'm afraid to kiss him and have him feel chin hair and be disgusted....
I feel so lost and like there's no help for me like I'm the only one in the world with so many issues....I really just feel like the ugliest and most disgusting female in the world......

Hi I understand how you feel a lot of what you say I feel the same. I binge ate from 11 then went virtually anorexic when I was 16/17 and now I'm about 5 stone overweight and binge eat again. I try to lose weight but since I've got kids I can't get to the gym and I have to cook for them and when I smell the food I can't starve myself. I've also got body hair that I hate that's really obvious but I don't know what to do. We could compete for the ugliest female contest

((((((LawlietIsLove)))))))

I am sorry that you are struggling with such deep sad thoughts & emotions. I can relate on a lot of levels, but I don't want to change topic.

You are beautiful and special in your own way, I can truly assure you of that fact honey. You would be surprised to learn how little men expect of women, and how shocked they are to hear about half of the struggles that we've gone through in our adolescence!! 100% true.

Whenever you catch yourself on that negativity track, pull yourself off by focusing on positives. You may be Italian, and dark-haired, but some guys really like that. Let your hair grow a bit before shaving again. Make sure that you use a new, fresh razor with shave gel. Shave in the tub, after your skin has adjusted to the warm up for a few minutes or so, for a closer shave. Facial hair: use wax sheets or that emery board. The board works great on the upper lip for me. Other hairs, I pluck. I don't like that either...but I haven't found a better cost effective method yet either. Sorry.

Things will get better.

Drink lots of water. Do pilates and/or yoga, try to focus on enjoying making your body stronger. Try not to over-wash your face. It does need some oils. That's how it naturally protects itself.

Remember: focus on the positives whenever you can. You can do it!
Btw, welcome to Psych Central! I hope that you find whatever you're looking for on this site. It was a terrific find for me. Best wishes to you!

Hi, I can relate to what you said as I often feel fat and ugly no matter what. Unlike you though, I was never anorexic. I did struggle with bullimia in the past and had to stop since I was having a lot of issues with stomach pain. It wasn't healthy. I'm fat now since it's part genetic, ugh. I'm trying to loose weight for good now, but it's hard!

I hope that you get help for your anorexia, or did. Starving yourself will only cause your body to store even more fat eventually. That's why you gained weight so quickly. Your body thinks it's starving so after awhile you won't loose any weight.

Just try to eat a normal and healthy diet of 1200 calories a day and only eat fresh whole foods like lean meat, veggies, fruits, beans, whole grains, sweet potatos, and no processed foods, white carbs like bread, rice, pasta, potatos, or anything with sugar in it including dry fruit and juice. No soda.

Eat a small meal every two hours with only one serving of carbs in it to keep from getting really hungry throughout the day. And drink lots of water. Google stuff on low glycemic foods for more info. It does keep you full and you'll probably loose weight eating that way too. And do light exercise like walking and lift light weights too as muscle burns fat. You won't get bulky that way.

As for acne, don't wash your face more than once a day. Do it once in the morning, and once at night. Use oil free non comedegnic makeup that's free of parabens, sulfates, and dyes.

Try Alba's oil free aloe and green tea moisturizer. It's usually only $20 at CVS, Walgreens, and Target. It smells really good, it's not tested on animals, and it has no crap in it. Use it after cleaning your skin in the morning and at night.

Don't use harsh acne products like Oxy, it'll dry out your skin. Try The Body Shops tea tree oil and cleanser. The cleanser is great. I LOVE the toner. It gets rid of dirt and oil really well. Just don't use it around your eyes. It has a nice scent and it tingles when it cleans. You can find it at the Body Shop in most malls, on amazon,com, and Ulta stores. It's easiest to find it in the Body Shop as most of their products sell out quick at Ulta.

The tea tree oil is good for small to medium sized zits. Also, use a facial mask a few times a weeks, but not everyday. Use a face scrub to get rid of dead skin cells everyday. I like the Shea Moisture African soap one. You can find it at CVS and Walgreens. Sometimes its on sale too. Ulta has it too.

It's a fine scrub and it detoxify's the skin. It's natural too. Don't touch your face, and wear your hair back in a pony tail when you sleep. Change your pillow cases often. Take off all makeup as soon as you can, especially after a workout or coming home after a long day. Never sleep in it.

NYX has a good eye makeup remover that's cruelty free. As for the body hair, I have a lot that grows on my face. Get a lighted magnifying mirror. And a good pair of tweezers. Use it at night as you can see things better than for some reason. Tweeze those stray hairs and then wax the rest or use hair remover cream for the face. Do the same with the brows, chin, and other places like the sides. Get a professional to wax everything.

Most nail salons don't charge much for waxing. Find a good one near you. Also, waxing your body keeps the hair off longer. Try that. It does hurt though!

If you follow my advice, you'll find that your skin will clear up. Eating healthy is crucial for good skin. As is using good natural products. Try to use cruelty free makeup, not the cheap drug store crap that's full of chemicals. If you can't afford good makeup, then use e..l.f (eyes lips face) that you can find at most drug stores and Target. And NYX is good too.

Also, use makeup wipes if you wear makeup from brands like say yes to Cucumbers or Blueberries, etc....you can find those wipes at Target and Drugstores too. Alba makes makeup remover wipes for acne prone skin too that are also good. Again, drink lots of water. And clean all makeup brushes once a week in you use them as well as sponges with soap and water.

If all else fails, get a good esthecian (sp?) Mine picks my blackheads, whiteheads, and small pimples when I do get them once every two weeks. The treatment is expensive but worth it. If that doesn't work, then see a good dermatologist who can get you on accutane or something like that. Then as a last resort get tested for PCOS. That can cause acne and excessive facial hair as well as difficulty loosing weight. That's only as a last resort though if nothing else works, it could be a medical issue.

I was once your age and nothing and no words of encouragement helped me long term.

Confidence came to me with only time.

And lots of years of watching youtube tutorials and buying fad beauty products.

I was/am very self conscious over certain features of mine. Yet I always had interest from men, and they didn't seem to mention these flaws. They didn't care! You have a boyfriend, so someone finds you very attractive just the way you are.

Hello LawlietIsLove: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. Reading your post, I wondered if there is a possibility that the things you have going on may be related to some sort of hormone imbalance. It may not be possible for you to do this right now. But, at some point when you can, it might be worth seeing an endocrinologist regarding your skin & hair problems.

EVERYTHING YOU ARE DOING ABOUT ACNE IS MAKING IT WORSE.

Get rid of aspirin masks, peels, etc. Only wash your face once a day - never more often. Get a Benzoyl Peroxide 10% solution wash for your face, use it daily, and do not use more water or cleanser on the face.

At night, cover all your face, breasts, the neck and the area between the neck and the breasts with a prescription cream called Retin-A (you will need to spend money on it, but you will save the money on wipes, peels, masks, and other ********).

Give it a few months, be religious about it, and you will see a big improvement. Everyday you must you Benzoyl Peroxide (you can use it in the shower) and every night you must use Retin-A.

I have acne as a side effect of my antipsychotic and I am advised by a top level dermatologist. Her advice has kept my breakouts to a minimum.

It could also be that you are depressed and in need of a medication change, and the depression colors your thoughts, so you THINK that you do not want your bf to touch you because you are fat, but in reality it is your depressive anhedonia that makes you not want him to touch you, and your mind finds a rationale for anhedonia - "I feel ugly and fat". As advised before, think of it rationally - if he wants to touch you, he finds you attractive, so you really need to see a psychiatrist and tell him what you have just told us.

Has there been any changes in your normal diet? Maybe taking new vitamins or going to a new restaurant? You could be having a sort of allergic reaction to something you've been consuming. A change in weather could also be causing this. I also have acne and "chicken skin" and found that being in a humid area makes this so much worse.

I talked to a dermatologist about this and was told to use a loofah and sugar scrub on my arms every other day. Don't scrub too hard, or you'll aggravate the skin and make it worse. This helps unclog your pores, which may be blocked with sebum or keratin. Just lightly brush over your arms though, we don't want you hurting yourself!

For your acne, washing your face that often is actually making it worse. You're skin must be very dehydrated. Just once a day. Also drink lots of water!

For body hair, I recommend tweezing or plucking the hairs. It does take a while, but is way cheaper than a wax and you can do it at home. Also, the results last at least a week.

If you're getting razor burn, you might not be shaving correctly. Always follow these steps before you shave any part of your body, ESPECIALLY if it's the bikini area:

1. Exfoliate first, this will get rid of any dead skin cells that can get caught in your pores as you shave.

2. Apply baby lotion or baby oil in a very small amount to hydrate the skin, let it sit for a while and sink in.

3. Shave following the natural growth direction of the hair.

4. Wash off

5. Reapply a moisturizer

6. Tweeze any extra hairs that you missed (optional)

7. Wear cotton underwear to let everything "breathe"

And above everything else, start the day off with a glass of warm water. Then, stand in front of the mirror and name at least one good thing about yourself. Sometimes it's hard to look past everything we consider as a "flaw" and overlook all the good things. Don't let the negative comments get in your brain!

When I hated my body, I was told to write down a list of things I like about myself and positive affirmations. "I have a great smile, I am talented, I am kind, My eyes are beautiful" etc. every day. It helps build yourself up again, and I thing you could really benefit from something like this!

Good luck

I can relate to the body image issues and the hairiness! Also, acne was a big issue for me as well. Basically, the only thing that helped for me was birth control pills. Do you happen to take them?