9 years of post menopause. when is it ever over?

Hi All. I am 56 years old. My last period was March, 2008. Feb 28,2008, I had my first panic attack. I had some serious health issues early that year and was recovering. Enter more panic attacks, depression, anxiety, thoughts of death and dying. Agoraphobia. I was afraid to go to work, afraid to go shopping. Afraid of everything. I thought I was losing my mind. I had gone from a assertive professional (nurse) to a blithering, sobbing mass in a few weeks. I had panic attacks in meetings. It was as if I was losing my mind. In Sept,2008 I went to a counselor and she said "Sounds like a bad menopause". I went to my GYN w/in 3 days and yes I was in menopause. Rx'd Hormones and antidepressant. Helped, but still an anxiety ridden mess. April 2009, finally got an anti-anxiety agent and it seemed all was well for about 6 months. Then we lost my stepson traumatically and things have never been the same. It seems like I am stuck. I have been diagnosed with MDD recurrent, Panic d/o, Anxiety d/o. Still have hot flashes, still have anxiety, still have severe depression at times. Sometimes it seems this will never end. Plus, during this time I have developed diabetes (controlled on metformin). Yes, I have been to therapists. No one helps. They don't understand a blessed thing. I'm sorry, they just don't. Any comments would be helpful. Thank You.

Have you considered black kohosh?

Hi yakmom, First of all, I am so sorry for the loss of your stepson.

I wish I had some sage words for you, but I don't. All I can tell you is that you're not alone. I am a year post-menopause and the fears and anxieties that began to consume me in my 50's (I'm 54 now) have not abated. I'm wondering if this is my new normal. If so, life has become very challenging. I was a courageous, strong woman. I have become terrified of everything. I ruminate constantly about loss and grief, and I am suddenly afraid of things like driving - used to love to drive!

I have also been to a couple of therapists within the past few years. Neither one 'got it.' When I was younger therapy made sense. It worked. It helped. Now I just feel like the therapists are not on the right track at all.

One thing I will say is that you are fortunate because your gyn bothered to check into your menopausal symptoms. I have not had a single doctor who so much as mentioned menopause to me. I feel like I'm on a different planet than my doctors.

I went through menopause in 2010, through 2011. I'm more fearful now too. Prone to sudden phobias, like my battles with the stairs. Other than that though, I have smoothed out the symptoms really well. No hot flashes, no new types of mood swings etc. It's kind of a relief because I just don't care so much about anything anymore. Life is going the way others want me to live. There's not that much I care about.

I started perimenopause In 2012 and had a hysterectomy in 2013. For about three years it was horrible. I had to quit my job and go on disability because the anxiety was so bad. I still having issues with leaving my house alone and with driving. The good I guess was my MDD diagnosis was changed to bipolar 1 and I'm doing better with APs and mood stabilizers than I was with ADs.