[sara.b]

I live quite far from my mom so when she comes to visit, she stays for a few weeks at least. I hear from all my friends with moms that live afar, that they take over the house...or at least help out with cleaning, cooking, laundry, whatever needs to be done.

I have the exact opposite experience! I end up waiting on my mom day and night. It's honestly like having another child in the house. For example, she leaves her dishes at the table for me to clean up. She waits until I'm doing the laundry to throw hers in the pile. She won't even make her own coffee in the morning (no one else drinks coffee so I'm literally making it just for her.) Forget about offering to cook anything...

Every time I try to encourage her to pitch in a little, she says "oh, its your home, I'm just a guest."

It's not like I expect her to turn into a housemaid, but sometimes I hear about these more typical "helpful moms" and I'm so jealous. Even the kids are getting lax on their chores since she arrived.

BTW, I was NOT raised the way she is now acting. I had a long list of chores growing up with the expectation that everyone in the house contributes. AND, I've seen for myself how my grandma would come to visit us when I was little and she was always a "helpful mom."

Does anyone else have this experience with their mom? Am I completely ungrateful for wishing I had a more "normal" mom?

I'm posting mostly to let off steam, I guess. And to see if there is anyone that actually knows what i'm going through...

[CelestialFlame]

I think that just because you're an adult doesnt mean that she should make you wait hand an foot on her. She should at least put her dishes in the dishwasher or sink, make her own coffee, and run the laundry because that is what moms are supposed to do and she hasnt stopped being one just because you've grown up. It doesnt take much effort to do any of those things.

[sara.b]

Originally Posted by CelestialFlame

I think that just because you're an adult doesnt mean that she should make you wait hand an foot on her. She should at least put her dishes in the dishwasher or sink, make her own coffee, and run the laundry because that is what moms are supposed to do and she hasnt stopped being one just because you've grown up. It doesnt take much effort to do any of those things.

I'm not crazy then. Thank you.

I forgot to add the most annoying aspect. When she goes out for a bit and then comes back....she rings the doorbell to be let in (even though I've given her a key.) Every. Time. Ding Dong. Every $&@#! TIME.

Lord give me strength to get through the rest of this visit...before I turn into a ding dong.

[possum220]

She will continue to treat you this way because she can. Next time she asks for a coffee tell her that she knows where the kettle and coffee are. Her arms aren't broken I assume. You are not a hotel and you are not her maid.

When she rings the bell next time yell at her to use her key.......... or be out the back where you can't hear her.

Maybe you should kinda joke that you need to write up a hotel bill for her.

[healingme4me]

Sorry to read that you're going through this.
Sounds like a lifelong trend of hers. Had you as a kid doing chores(not that kids need not have chores nor learn to pitch in, but ...) and now this. Is there something in her upbringing that created this about her?

[Bill3]

Every time I try to encourage her to pitch in a little, she says "oh, its your home, I'm just a guest."

“No, Mom, you’re family. Family pitches in.”