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Newly Joined
Member Since Mar 2019
Location: Us
Posts: 1
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Mar 03, 2019 at 10:07 PM
#1
I started crying in my sleep. We all have those days. You wake up because you were crying for whatever reason. Last night was different. I kept falling asleep and kept crying because I knew that I would never have a baby. I thought that I accepted it and was moving on, but clearly it’s not the case. It’s hard to express the pain that I feel every day. My brother and brother in law just had new borns. I love them, but every time I’m done visiting I feel so sad. It’s hard to breathe!
There is nothing I can do to change that. I will never have a kid that would look like me, have my dna and would mean the world to me. NEVER. No matter what I do. My only option is someone else’s children. I regret every decision I made in my life that led me this place. I can’t find a reason to live. Maybe I’m selfish, but I was thinking and taking care of other people’s needs my entire life and now is too late to think about mine. I feel rage, I’m angry that there is no miracle that can help me. No one can help me. I feel helpless. I don’t know how to get out of this tail spin. |
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 Anonymous43949, Anonymous44076, AspiringAuthor, Travelinglady
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Mar 04, 2019 at 01:17 AM
#2
Hello Mashka. I am so very sorry for your anguish. I am wondering if there is someone trusted in your life you can speak with? Someone to give you a hug or just listen? Would you be open to speaking with a therapist?
Sadly, I cannot bring you a miracle but please know that I care. Breathe slowly and deeply. Please talk to a friend or therapist to help you work through this grief. If you feel like writing again, I will read your concerns 
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Legendary Wise Elder
Member Since Sep 2010
Location: North Carolina
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Mar 04, 2019 at 10:10 AM
#3
Hi, Mashka45, and welcome to Psych Central! I'm sorry you're going through grief about not being able to have children. It's certainly understandable. My sister wasn't able to either. She even went through all sorts of medical procedures.
Have you considered adoption? I know you don't think it's the same not to carry a child in your own womb, but adoption has its advantages. Please think about it over the coming months. I agree with Silvertrees. Is there something you can also talk to in real life? We are here for you, too, and we care.
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Mar 05, 2019 at 03:03 PM
#4
Quote:
I know you want a biological child, but I've heard someone say that parenting is not biology but a relationship. This is just a thought for a future reference, but you are in the midst of grieving, so take your time to process. I don't know how but somehow, I am hoping that you will be rewarded for all the sacrifices you've made to meet other people's needs. I don't know what else to say....[just hugs].
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 AspiringAuthor, Travelinglady
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Threadtastic Postaholic
Member Since Dec 2018
Location: New Jersey
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Mar 08, 2019 at 03:04 AM
#5
This may not 100% be what you are going through but I thought it was interesting.
‘The desire to have a child never goes away’: how the involuntarily childless are forming a new movement | Life and style | The Guardian Quote:
__________________ "I carried a watermelon?" President of the no F's given society. |
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| Anonymous43949
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Travelinglady
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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