Having a meltdown

I've been having a meltdown for last 24 hrs, and feeling inadequate about that. Then I was chatting to a new friend who was supportive, and I figured out that I take on so much in my life that it's inevitable that very occasionally I am going to explode.

We were talking about managing men on projects, and how men procrastinate. I said that I'm learning how to be firm without nagging, but main problem at the moment is managing my own emotions.

It suddenly occurred to me that women do this all the time. We expect to manage our emotions (and other people's emotions) at the same time as managing other people's bs and a zillion of practical details. We expect it.

I know very few men who hold themselves accountable for managing other people's emotions and other people's mess in the same way. I do realise that men have other stressors - financially supporting a family is a huge deal - but women expect to do it all simultaneously, and often we can.

I was reading a book last night about a women suffering from terminal cancer who was still organising her family, but whose husband called her when she had a meltdown on the floor because it scared the children. She was saying "this is real life": facing up to big challenges is part of learning to live fully while we still can."