Asking for sharing experiences about menopause changes

Yes, my gyneacologist prescribed me primrose oil many years ago. I think I’m gonna take it again.

Hi @AzulOscuro you and I seem at a similar stage in life, I'm just about to turn 49 too.

I think I may have been in perimenopause a few years now because I get mid cycle spotting and apparently that can be caused by hormones shifting gear when we no longer ovulate but still have periods. I did consult a GP and this is what she told me.

I don't have hot flashes yet and my periods are very regular at 28 days interval 5 days length. Like yours mine are heavy especially first 2 days or so. I use a mooncup which helps a lot and also a towel because I flood. I did have low ferritin a few years back and have to watch (I am vegetarian too).

20 days sounds awful and my heart goes out to you! I have heard there can be many causes - my sister got told her uterus was enlarged, the lining can grow thicker because of altered hormones too. Fibroids are another possible cause of heavy painful bleeds. Sometimes it's worth getting a gynae referral to get checked out just in case.

I too have family history of breast cancer so I decline HRT.

I do feel sensitive in my period week, I am prone to crying and sadness then. I've always had anxieties so not sure that's any worse! I think there's a lot of other stuff happens in our midlife too - with jobs, parents, grown up kids. A lot of it can come at us all at once!

What's helped me has been self care, in my period week especially, gentle exercise only, doing things (crafts, reading) that calm and ground me. Eating well! Chocolate too in moderation!

Female friendship has also been incredibly supportive and valuable at this time too, and even this thread is a great example of that.

Hugs to you and hope things aren't too bad and keep manageable at least.

Thank you for your complete and interesting response.
My gynaecologist told me that it was normal even he didn’t explain to me why. I must have gone yet but with all this stuff with the epidemic I barely leave home or make many appointments.

The thing about the 20 days wasn’t bleeding a lot along this period. I had a week widely bleeding, the rest of the days was only spotting.
And now after a week, again I’m with menstruation. lol! This time, pretty normal but I would like it gave me a breath because at this rate, I’m gonna be all struggling with it for the whole month.

Good you got checked over, it's a pity he didn't explain why it's normal for you. I don't know about you but I prefer it when professionals explain properly.

It must be tiring to cope with, did you try extra iron supplement?

There was a time I had to take iron supplements but then, the blood test was ok and I have just had another blood test made recently and is also ok.

My gynaecologist prescribed me a medication to decrease the bleeding.

It’s not that bad. I mean yeah if I eat less I lose weight but I like to eat hahah I meant it’s not easy to stop eating. But it’s doable. I really can’t complain. I think I look good for 55 but I noticed rapid aging after 52, menopause to blame I think.

I do understand you, Divine.
Yes, there are people who age very slowly, like you, I guess it’s a matter of gens. I envy them. You are lucky.

I AM aging. I was trying to explain that menopause causes faster aging. Prior to menopause I didn’t see signs of aging. It isn’t about me being lucky, I was talking about effects of menopause as this thread is about experiences of menopause.

I don’t think I explain myself well and I don’t seem to make myself clear.

I understand Divine, it's the change in hormone levels that previously kept us looking younger - plump skin etc. For the same reason after menopause women have a rise in rates of heart attacks (before menopause we have lower risks than men because of our hormone levels). So inside and out there are big changes.

We do tend to equate attractiveness with younger looking but really I'd say they're not the same thing. Personally I think many older women are still very beautiful although they may look their age. But I'm 49 so that explains my perspective!

I agree.

No, no...Maybe, I didn’t understand you or I deduced something badly. I think the same as you. It’s a scientific fact that ageing is faster after menopause. That’s why I said that nature was cruel with women. When you stated that it was not as bad, and that you looked younger than your age, I deduced you were one of those lucky cases who doesn’t suffer such a fast ageing which indeed are few but they happen.

I have an acquaintance who is in her late 60s however you would think she is not much more than 50. It’s a genetic fact because all her family age very slowly.
I do envy them.

I see what you mean and I think you’re right. Attractiveness is something that can last. But I was referring to people who really age slower than others. I mean, without even wrinkles, who finds easy to lose weight, their bodies have a big agility, etc. I think it must be a matter of genetic.
This person I know according to her, it’s a family matter, and she said that she doesn’t do anything further than the usual to keep it fit and young. I mean she’s not sport woman, she eats everything only that she doesn’t like meat. So, I guess she’s kind of veggie by force.

I had 10 years of it. Hot flashes every 10 to 15 min. Carbs to this day, heat me up. It's a wonder, it didnt kill myself or someone. Married to an asshole, now divorced who was cruel about it. The only thing that worked for me was flaxseed oil. And, laying off the carbohydrates. Hugs...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zipper dog I had 10 years of it. Hot flashes every 10 to 15 min. Carbs to this day, heat me up. It's a wonder, it didnt kill myself or someone. Married to an asshole, now divorced who was cruel about it. The only thing that worked for me was flaxseed oil. And, laying off the carbohydrates. Hugs...

That sounds rough. I feel like menopause for me has been difficult. Thanks for the suggestions. I'm glad you didn't kill the asshole.

Oh, my good lord! One hot flash every 10 or 15 minutes. This must be high destabilising.
Didn’t the gynaecologist proposed something to you?

You say that it didn’t kill you but I remember my mum explained to me that she sometimes felt so nervous that she had thoughts about jumping through the window.

I am 52 and had autism and some difficulties with processing speech, verbally speaking and co-ordination issues before on-set of peri. which despite this I had managed to achieve university and working in a few jobs. I had friends but struggled with 'romantic relationships' as I don't really enjoy intimate physical contact, never have done.


Since the onset of peri my autism symptoms became more intense like it was in childhood when I'd get overwhelmed really quickly and easily from environmental stressors. I stopped enjoying going out and it felt more of a 'forced chore' that I had to keep up to convince people I was still able to cope.


Apart from the obvious issues with hot flushes and irregular menstruation I got severe joint and muscle pain and chronic fatigue. I originally thought this was part of it too but have since been told I've inherited RA (my mum and her dad it).


The pandemic lockdowns were a welcome relief in the beginning as I had a legitimate excuse for not being able to see anyone I didn't want to! ...but that is now impacting the social phobia much worse and I'm dreading the demand for life to return to normal...as I find myself ignoring texts from people who always make me feel worse by complaining they haven't seen me for 2 years (nearly) and don't see why we can't meet up socially distanced outside and ignoring letters about appointments (making mental plans to say I'm isolating as I tested positive that morning or something).


Moods swing wildly from excessive anxiety one minute to 'don't give a f***' the next! ...and in the earlier stages I started to really struggle controlling my temper and virtually anything could send me into a rage within seconds. That has calmed down recently as I've now gone several months without a period. It's definitely connected with the wildly fluctuating hormone levels!


I'm hoping I'm somewhere near the end as 53 this year and the average age is 45-55! ...if the mood swings and over-sensitivity would calm down it would make things a lot easier for when I have to cope with 'going out' (socially or dealing with appointments) again!!