Another "what men like in a woman" sprout

He's DONALD TRUMP! Trump rhymes with CHUMP. I wouldn't date an *** like him anyway. Why on earth would anyone care what HE thinks?

Your daughter is a smart girl.

Lovebirds - I wouldn't waste brain cells wondering whether men were truly attracted to or settled for you. You're just going to drive yourself crazy. In fact, an insecurity like that would make a supermodel be a turnoff. Confidence is what makes people REALLY attractive.

And I'd urge you to change your signature. It only serves to reinforce the negative voices in your head. Show us the beautiful part of your soul without distracting us with the poor self-image at the end of every single post.

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LovebirdsFlying said:
I disagree. I think it's morally wrong to toss someone away on the basis of something they can't help, such as height or skin color or whatever, and I also disagree that couples need to look alike in order to be attracted to each other. As a matter of fact, I was watching HGTV earlier today, and I saw a bathroom being redesigned for an interracial married couple. She was blonde and white, he was bald and black. They didn't look a thing like each other. Likewise I've seen small, thin men with tall, big women, and I've seen short women with tall men. And remember when Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett? Now, there's a couple that doesn't look alike!

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I didn't interpret You0me's post the way you did. She didn't say that couples NEED to look alike. She said that lots of couples DO resemble each other. She said that it was a pheremone thing, not a conscientious decision. We need to be unified and not put words in each other's mouths.

How's this signature?

I'm starting to work through the issue in that initial physical attraction is a matter of evolution and phermones and stuff, but I think my daughter is right. We just got off the phone with each other, discussing the issue even while I've been posting here. She says animals are looking for mates who are the most apt to reproduce and continue the species; but humans are above mere physical attraction and should be able to look past the mole on someone's nose.

is it possible the list in the mens forum was JUST a WISH list, come on don't we all wish for something we ain't got, besides it is there forum, cut them some slack

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LovebirdsFlying said:
I just thank God I'm engaged to a man who is not so shallow as to judge me by what I look like.

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Ok, now I'm getting irritated. I just was browsing the Photos forum and there is a picture of you -- you are VERY pretty! Why are you so hung up on the 'ugly woman' syndrome? You have gorgeous hair, beautiful clear skin, a pretty smile, and expressive eyes. Your fiance not "judging" you by your looks -- he probably thinks you're pretty darn hot and that he's lucky he scored a babe like you.

And I should say that your fiance is no dog either - don't tell me that you don't find him attractive - he's handsome!

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nothemama8 said:
is it possible the list in the mens forum was JUST a WISH list, come on don't we all wish for something we ain't got, besides it is there forum, cut them some slack

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If we have to watch what we say in the women's forum, because men do read it and it might hurt some guy's feelings, then they should be careful of our feelings too.

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LMo said:
And I should say that your fiance is no dog either - don't tell me that you don't find him attractive - he's handsome!

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Well, thank you for the compliments for both of us.

Note: Since it is hard to communicate tone of voice over the internet, picture a clinical, unemotional, more or less flat tone.

By the way, I never said Mike was judging me by looks; I said I thank God he isn't. I also never said I don't find Mike attractive. I call him handsome and/or cute all the time, and he calls me beautiful. What I'm trying to say is that neither one of us really cares whether or not the other is physically attractive. That doesn't mean we don't think so.

It's not so much that I think I'm ugly, or for that matter that he is ugly. Neither one of us actually IS. But we are both plus size, and because of that we have been CALLED ugly, numerous times, and may I say unfairly. In fact, one of my biggest pet gripes in life is when people say "fat-and-ugly" like it's all one word. I've seen some good looking fat people, and some butt-ugly skinny ones.

And I still say it is wrong to treat unattractive people differently from attractive people, or to let level of attractiveness determine how you relate to the person. I refuse to accept or reject a person based on what they look like. That's the whole statement I'm making. I don't have to believe I'm ugly to think it's wrong to react that way, just as I don't have to be a minority to realize that racial discrimination is wrong. Making the point that ugliness doesn't apply to me, so I shouldn't worry, is like saying I don't need to care about racial discrimination because I'm white.

Again, thank you for your compliments. They are appreciated.

Well it is true, people who have the "hollywood standards" of beautiful do as a whole get treated better. There has been studies done on how even "cuter" babies and children get more attention. They have found that "less attractive" kids are more likely to be physically abused.
I don't like this, but it is the facts so far. They have even done studies were they show "beautiful people" are in happier marriages too. So yes there is a prejudice. It is sad because we are all people, we all need love and acceptance.

Hmm - I have been thinking about this one and this is what I believe........from forty years experience.

The younger men tend to go more for looks while the older (mature) men tend to go for what inside a woman...... and I do not believe we will ever be able to change this part of a man for it is part of who they are for some reason - sorry.

P.S.
And not to say that all the men that want looks in their gf gets it - well at least not the super model look.

I THINK, whoever says that they don't LOOK at their mates before even considering attraction is full of ca ca. First off, for males and females their has to be some sort of physical attraction in order for them to even begin talking...you see what I mean??? If their is no physical attraction then you'd walk pass the person like any other. The Men are being honest. They didn't intend to hurt anybody.

The first time I met my husband I didn't think he was all so hot, till I saw him play his acoustic with a Tool t shirt on...ah, then I knew I wanted to talk to him. My husband says the same thing, I thought I was cute so we began talking outside work hours. Then comes the love through personalities. There HAS to be something that pulls two strangers together OKAY.

I'm not at all dismissing personality and potential life status neither. Of course there more important then looks alone. A personality can and will make a person hideous.

youome - thats not always true. in many cases its natural to look for someone that is different than you. the main goal of evolution is to increase your gene pool and to increase your genetic variation. looking for someone the same as you doesnt do that. so a lot of times in the animal kingdom they will look for someone different than themselves. if their genes are excellent they will look for someone that looks like them. but often thats not what happens.

i used to be real hung up on it too. but i figure, any guy that wants to date someone simply based on looks is probably stupid and i dont want them anyways. so any guy that cant get past the fact that i dont wear make up... not for me anyways its hard to think that sometimes but then when i think about it any guy thats ever called me fat or ugly and has meant it, ive gotten to know them and they just bug the crap out of me. that makes me feel better. my boyfriend makes me feel like im the most attractive person in the world to him and i belive that now after years of him telling me.

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salukigirl said:
youome - thats not always true. in many cases its natural to look for someone that is different than you. the main goal of evolution is to increase your gene pool and to increase your genetic variation. looking for someone the same as you doesnt do that. so a lot of times in the animal kingdom they will look for someone different than themselves. if their genes are excellent they will look for someone that looks like them. but often thats not what happens.

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What do you mean different than you? My husband and I are not twins, lol. This sounds as though the goal of obtaining a partner and getting married is evolution-- My husband and I are not even interested in having kids.

could be when a guy says he doesn't want a large woman it could be that he is afraid of the physical problems that may arise

I didn't mean exactly the same....after all we are all people

No, I mean...similar is interest, similar in physique, similar intellectual status....ya know. People attract on looks and similar interest. There are those opposites who attract, I'm not saying the SAME SAME, I'm saying with similarities.

My husband was just plain hot when I first saw him. Then I got to know him better and he just got hotter for it. I'm not ashamed to say that. Phew... now I'm a little hot...

, needing a cold shower huh hahahaha

Yeah, I miss my husbands sexy carpet installing arms....

Now he has soft daddy arms, but I can't hate because I got soft mommy belly, boobs, thighs and butt..hahaha.

the goal of obtaining and partner is evolution. the reason you dont want kids isnt because of your genetic makeup. its because were not hunters and gatherers anymore trying to spread our genes out. if it were 200,000 years ago youd be popping them out, believe me. and youre just supporting what i said - youre not alike. that was my point. im actually not even sure that i understand what youre debating here. you just said what i said but made it sound like you were debating me?

It was a question of clarification.

right on.

y'know... i was at a party at ohio state and dont really remember meeting my boyfriend lol. talk about a one night stand! its been over 2 years now! this is the longest one night stand ever.

hes so cute though the funny thing is that people often think im about 5 years older than him - hes 3 years older than me. at work one day i said that him and i were probably just going to have a few beers and stay at home. my co-worker goes "he's old enough to drink?" and i laughed and said "yeah he turns 24 this year" and his jaw dropped. he thought i was dating a senior in high school! lol. he has such a baby face. people think im with a 17 year old apparently.

mmmm.... he has some broad shoulders too. ok now im getting hot lol. youome started it! haha

I don't think it's OK to quote a thread out of the men or women's forum for rebuttal and discussion. There's a reason that women are asked not to post in men's and visa versa. It's taking a personal conversation, not meant for certain individuals and making it public. It also has the feel of bringing a personal disagreement to the public forums.

In the future let's refrain from doing this same thing. It's going around the guidelines in place for reason.

Thanks for your cooperation and participation.

KD