[EJ711]

Friends,

I don't know. I didn't think the concept of my husband being in charge of the needs of our six dogs and six cats for a period of time so I can complete my homework for a class I'm taking to get a job was particularly hard.

I have been trying to teach this concept for maybe a year now, but husband is still having a hard time of what this means.

You know like when one of the dogs wants to go out, you let them out. When they need water -- you give them water. If they need some attention, like Little Bear (a cat) needs lap time, you give him lap time.

I've got to get back to my homework.

What am I missing?

EJ

[Christina86]

Wow. I knew you had a lot of pets, but wow... that's a lot!

Don't forget feedings. If any of the animals are on meds too, can't forget that! I would have thought it would be common sense though... I guess I'm mistaken? (Then again, my family has always owned animals so I can take care of them without even thinking about it).

[happyme32]

He's a man they just act stupid. He knows what you expect. He just chooses to be stubborn.

[EJ711]

Hi Christina and HappyMe32,

Part of husband's usual routine is feeding "our crew", and he gives Missy, the wild St. Bernard, who broke my ankle last year, her tranquilizers.

Happy -

You're probably right. I think babysitting is just something women get more easily, and have done from young ages.

He is a very concrete thinker (a nice way of saying he has cement in his head ), and looks confused when he sees me sitting in the same area, but I don't respond to the dogs barking to go out.

[sunrise]

A friend of mine calls this "feigned incompetence" and says it is just a way for the husband to get out of doing tasks and chores he doesn't want to. If he pretends to be incompetent and not get how to take care of the animals, eventually you will just give up expecting him to help and do it all yourself so it will get done. Don't fall for it. Give him space to do the chore and don't give in and rush to do it yourself. When they see you are not going to cave, they may give up the incompetent act.

[youOme]

Just keep pushing the issue, of course he needs to help out to.

[EJ711]

You guys are great!

Sunrise - Feigned incompetence -- that's a good one.

YouOMe - I think this is going to take pushing. So far he just yells when I tell him he's in charge of the dogs.

He's not working, and I am, so I feel it is fair for him to whatever it takes to support me while I'm working. Right now I'm trying to do my best on a three-week online class. It is necessary for certification to teach at a particular university. Right now it feels like a three-week interview.

EJ

[Kendyll]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
EJ711 said:I think babysitting is just something women get more easily, and have done from young ages.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
Not everyone!
Could he just really be that oblivious to his surroundings?

[Perna]

They do have to be taught. My husband is great at some things. . . that his mother taught him, LOL. They don't get the lessons we girls get growing up I don't think. I was taught to look for overflowing ashtrays at parties and drinks that needed refreshing, etc. Look for the "details" and they are just taught to see the overall picture and look pretty on our arms

[Kendyll]

Lessons girls learned? What lessons?

No, seriously! I don't know what you guys are talking about. Did I really miss out on THAT MUCH? All my friends (and I) joke that I really need a wife instead of a husband...Where did you guys learn about this babysitting and cleaning and stuff?

[MyBestKids2]

I don't know Kendyll. I'm right there with ya girl. I wasn't taught anything about cleaning, babysitting, cooking. When I got married the 1st time, I was lost, lost, lost!!!! Over the years, the little I have learned is just from watching others.