[User42]

Hi,

I'm fealing really depressed and bitter and jelous.

I'm at the bottom of my chosen career path, which is where I've been for a year and a half. I have a bachelor's degree in computer science and I'm near the end of my part-time master's degree. I have a job as a software developer for a small, not-very-good company I hate, which doesn't really pay me much. There's no chance of a raise, the company is losing money and the boss is looking for people to let go due to the economy. Asking for a raise would be a good was to become a candidate.

Yesterday I met up with my friend, who I see very infrequently. I met her at university, although she never actually finished her (multimedia) bachelor's degree, she's spent more of her time the last few years in office work and technical support while I've been studying and working at this company I hate.

She's just went for an inteview for a job as a software developer, having not mentioned any interest in doing so to me before. She said she got two of the interview questions wrong (which I know as they were quite basic) but they said they really need someone with her charisma and teamworking experience.

They're taking her on with a starting salary of about 40% more than I earn, with me having been at it 1.5 years and with a much better, more complete, and relevant education. I know she's completely unclear in some of the basic concepts, but I know she'll get support from the team and be very successful as in all of her jobs.

She can carry a conversation one-sided, so she wouldn't have noticed I didn't really say anything. I don't know how I'm supposed to just congratulate my friend and not be jelous of her. Am I just an awful person?

[Perna]

No you're not an awful person! Hi, User42, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

Take your looking over the fence to the greener grass on the other side as a wake-up call; what are you still doing at that company you hate? If she can find and get a job in the field that you're more experienced in, get out there and try to do the same? Just thank your friend for telling you about her new job (and inspiring you to go out and do likewise :-)

Have you looked at your university's IT department for a job? I know mine is constantly looking for good people and you could get more money and a discount on your degree work plus a way to move up in your field!

[User42]

Originally Posted by Perna

No you're not an awful person! Hi, User42, welcome to PsychCentral (PC).

Take your looking over the fence to the greener grass on the other side as a wake-up call; what are you still doing at that company you hate? If she can find and get a job in the field that you're more experienced in, get out there and try to do the same? Just thank your friend for telling you about her new job (and inspiring you to go out and do likewise :-)

Have you looked at your university's IT department for a job? I know mine is constantly looking for good people and you could get more money and a discount on your degree work plus a way to move up in your field!

From the point of view of working at the uni, I don't think I'd like to work in the IT department. But I've actually been told by friends I'd make a good lecturer, teaching programming to undergraduates or something. Although I'm very very shy. Research also sounds like fun. I doubt my abilities though.

I am annoyed that she's earning more than I am, but if I actually enjoyed my job I'd be less concerned about the money. The fact that I'm getting paid peanuts to be miserable while being expected to be happy because I'm perminantly on the bottom rung of my chosen career path bugs me.

[madisgram]

what are constructive things you can do to get out from that "rut and bottom rung"?
networking with ppl you know in the field
getting your resume out there where your skills can be seen
turning that lemon into lemonade by expanding your responsibilites at your present job
gratitude, you are employed so that makes you more employable to a prospective company
...and no you're not an aful person unless you choose to be. when you feel down the best direction is up. i'd try rewiring your thinkin'...you're educated and need to look for your niche. putting some positives in action can turn this around for you.

[Elana05]

Hi User42,

It is so easy to get caught up in how things look for others. But the way that life is you just never know. She may have what looks like the better job now but there are reaons that it could all come crashing down. In a few you years you actually may end up with the better job. Better to just focus on yourself and let her situation go. You said you are very shy. While you are working along in this job you aren't crazy about, maybe you can take the time to build yourself up outside of work. Have you ever tried a "toastmasters" club? You can very slowly begin to learn how to speak publically and with confidence. I went to one once and found the group very supportive.

E