[pgrundy]

Today I was kind of rattled when I went into work and made the mistake of saying out loud to a coworker, "I wish I had a real job."

I was trying lamely to be funny but by the expression on her face I could tell she was shocked. I left it alone because sometimes overexplaining is worse than the first mistake, but what I meant was, I wish I made enough money to really be helpful and had some decent benefits so my husband could retire at 62, but a minimum wage mall job won't do that.

It came off like I'm not grateful for my job, but I am. I don't hate it at all. It just pays awful.

Wow I hate having to always watch my back in this economy. There's just nothing in Michigan, nada, zip.

I need a roll of duct tape for my mouth.

Uggg I know that feeling ...as soon as the words are out of your mouth, you're trying to pull them back in. I did much worse, if that's any consolation. In front of the cluster director, (yes that's really her title) I said "oh GOD I 'm really feeling crispy today". As in burnt out....
I know this economy stinks. We've been out of work since 2009. Husband also...
Just cause the ecomony is awful, you shouldn't have to watch your rear all the time for a low wage job. I'm sorry. I hope it gets better.

[Can't Stop Crying]

Originally Posted by pgrundy

I need a roll of duct tape for my mouth.

I've said that exact same thing. I hate my job, but I'm grateful to have a job...doesn't always work. Hang in there! Hopefully, your comment will just be brushed off. I know that's happened to me sometimes, thankfully. I get myself all worked up, only to realize that the person who was the most offended has already moved on to something else.

[pgrundy]

Thank you Callista+12 and Can't Stop Crying.

I probably made more of it than it even was. I realized I have this feeling at work like I can't be myself, like ever. It's like I put on a happy compliant mask when I walk in the door. I learned to do this when I was working in call centers for 8 years. We had to. You could be fired if you were NOT happy and compliant all the time.

So it shocked me when I let my guard down so spontaneously, but this is retail--I'd say at about half my shifts someone just doesn't show up. So I'm just going to keep showing up and hope, as you say, that the person I said that to has already forgotten it.

I hope things get better for ALL of us soon. I was out of work for almost two years before I got this job in late 2010. The papers keep saying it's getting better but I don't know where it's getting better. It doesn't feel better around here, that's for sure.

[Perna]

I bet your coworker looked shocked because she wished she had enough courage to express the same thought! It would be nice if we all had work/jobs that were meant for us and what we enjoyed doing.

[pgrundy]

Thanks Perna. I never thought of that. I actually kind of enjoy my job, but the pay is so low it barely covers even a couple of monthly bills and I work really hard. It's about 1/4 of what I was making eight years ago, but I know lots and lots of people are in this situation. At least it helps a bit.