Got Laid off

I got laid off this week. It feels like no one around me understands. They are jut like, oh, too bad. I feel so alone. I'm not married or have a girlfriend so there isn't anyone close to me to share this with. I tried to talk to my parents and they just ignored that it was a big deal. It means that I have had to stop seeing my T. Then at the end of the semester I don't know what I am going to do about money. (I'm a student). I feel so alone. I'm so scared I wont be able to get another job. I feel so scared and alone. I can't stop crying. To make it worse I'm really sick this week. And the sickness doesn't seem to be going away any time soon.

I'm so sorry this happened to you!

I wonder could you reach out to others who are recently unemployed? Maybe there is a group in your area. In the meantime, can you call your doctor and share what you shared here?

Losing a job is a big deal and comes with all this grief. I know, I lost mine in late 2008 and it was part of what sent me down into another major depressive episode. It would be so good if you could be proactive but I understand the financial restrictions.

Hang in there. Lots of people are where you are now or have been. Other people really don't 'get it' until it happens to them.

I can totally relate to how you feel. I was laid off and both of my parents are deceased. My sister is my only surviving close relative and after telling her I had been laid off in an e-mail I never heard from her again, not even at Christmas. Friends who said they'd "Be there" have been anything but. It's been very eye-opening and it makes it hared to trust anyone. But believe me you are not alone in your feelings. I just try to have faith that everything will work out and then from here on out I will be even more selective with who I surround myself with.

Oh Googley,

I'm really sorry, that sucks. Losing a job is a very upsetting experience, so you should go ahead and feel sad. Are you eligible for any kind of employment insurance support - that might help.

As for finding another job, I'd say start looking as soon as you feel better and just persevere - it's hard to find jobs but not impossible.

And it's something people don't truly get until they've experienced it.

I just lost my job this week too so I really do understand what you're feeling.

Hang in there.

--splitimage

I'm sorry Split. That really sucks. I know you were really positive about that job.

I don't have any unemployment benefits from my job. It really sucks. I started applying for jobs the day I got laid off, but haven't heard anything yet. I know it hasn't been that long, but this just makes me really anxious.

thanks for your support. It means so much.

So sorry, I know exactly how you feel. No one really understands how scary it is unless they've been through it, especially if you're single, I know how that feels. Like there is know one to "catch" you during this fall. I'm 9 months into this and I still feel so alone at times.

What I have learned is - it will get better, maybe not right away and maybe not all the time - but it will.

Until then keep up your strength, eat, sleep and when youre over being sick start excersing. I run and it has been a saving grace throughout this process I am still going through..

And always remember you are NOT alone!

Princess1968,

I couldn't have said it better myself. It seems to me that employers often pick single people to be laid off because they don't have a family to support (I even had a friend tell me that if he was an employer he'd lay off single people first). What people don't understand is just what you said, there is no "Soft Landing" Nobody to come home to to help you through this. I feel like I've been "Thrown away" sometimes and it sucks. I try very hard to stay positive and trust that everything will work out, but doubt still creeps in now and then. I've been told several times by therapists and coaches that this is a time for me to take a step back and breath - but it's tough as you watch your savings get depleted day by day. People just don't get it, and I've been amazed at how unsupportive and absent my so called "Friends" have been.

My husband got laid off about a year ago...he was fortunate to find a job quickly but he had to settle for a long commute, lower wages, and no benefits. His spirit was really broken for a while and he felt like a failure. His feelings got better with time. The initial shock of it was the worst...he was blindsided by the layoff. After the shock wore off, he took the first job he found. While I don't recommend that for everyone, just working again and knowing that he was "hireable" helped him find the strength to continue looking for a job that was a better fit for him. He is still with that same company while job hunting. I am so sorry that this happened to you, wishing you good luck!

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
~ Maya Angelou

I actually did get the first job that I interviewed for - but it was in Nebraska (I live in CA) and I felt like I would be jumping from the frying pan to the fire. My office would have been in a basement, looked like a jail cell, had no cell phone service, and my boss seemed super controlling. Also, it would have been a 20K pay cut (would have had to try to rent my home out, yada yada yada). I knew I was still in shock and very angry and I think I would have taken all that with me to that job - plus be resentful that I had to move from my home all by myself to an area that I was not at all attracted to. But every now and then I wonder if I should have taken it anyway.

So I thought things were getting better. I got interviewed for a babysitting job and was offered the job. It was supposed to be 3hrs/day for three days of the week and 8hrs/day for two days of the week. I moved my schedule around to make it fit what they needed and turned down another babysitting job that was offered. But today they told me that the new job that they had they might not have and so instead of 24hrs/wk they might only have 15 hrs per week. If I knew that they were only going to be able to give me 15hrs/wk I would definitely have charged $10 instead of $9/hr. now I'm totally worried about money again. The job is every day of the week so I can't easily fill in with other positions. I can't stand the stress around this all. I thought i had something that worked, and now I don't know how many hours I'm going to actually get. I called my T and made an appointment with the understanding that I would have a job that would cover my sessions and allow myself to be able to save up a little money for times when things are tight. Ugh.

Being laid off definately isn't the same feeling as being on vacation. Even if one's fortunate enough to be in a field, where there are jobs available. The process is slow, and waiting to hear back after an interview...whoa. Not knowing is the hardest part.

Lots of empathy for individuals describing friends, and/or family not being very supportive and/or down right cold. For my own situation, I've had friends and a relative hundreds of miles away be more supportive vs. my more immediate family.
Strangers more genuinely interested and kind in thinking of possibilities.

Relatives I'd spend time with almost weekly, and at least talk to weekly. Completely disappeared. They don't stop by to visit, or invite to do things, much less return a phone call. When I always made time and point to "be there" during life transitions.

So decided not to make a fuss about it. But most definately going to invest my own time and energy to focusing on, and developing mutuality and reciprocal relationships.
Focus on building extended family relationships, vs. people in my own life who have shown themselves to be so self-centered.

Not anything specific that I'd wanted of more immediate family vs. a sense of continuity and normalsy vs. an abrupt change. Made me feel very suspicious they were intentionally trying to knock me off balance? One in paticular was almost intentionally being a "downer" even though I was in positive spirits. Who knows?

So for others experiencing similar, all I know to do is let the experience guide me to better auspices and individuals more likely to be helpful. Most definately not going to knock myself out in the future, when a difficult life situation arises for them. Prolly be like, well...yeah when I was unemployed yada yada. You didn't return phone calls or visit, so I'm assuming that's the way you want to be treated now. *makes little pointy horns* : )