[Nicks_Nose]

I am feeling a little torn between my supervisor who is confiding in me, and the crew who I think she is misjudging. I believe the crew she is criticizing is a good working crew....she, however, wants me to lean on them, criticize them for faults I do not see in them, and nag them a lot. Is this a test? Does she want me to be nitpicky like she is? Could she be checking me out to see if I would bend to her wishes just because she is my boss? SHOULD I bend to her wishes just because she is my boss?

[cocoabeans]

What are the consequences if you do and if you don't? Did she explain to you why she wants you to do this? Did you explain to her why you think they're being misjudged?

If none of this is being communicated, and you've tried to talk, perhaps she isn't the type of boss that bothers, I'd just ignore it and pretend I forgot.

[Nicks_Nose]

Thank you Cocoabeans. My supervisor is difficult to understand. It almost seems that she purposefully needles at somebody until she emotionally breaks them, then, she backs off some. Each and every employee at this job, under her command, has had one moment when she has made each person cry in her office.

She does not speak in a mean way...she does not say offensive things...she just grates on one's nerves. She kept writing me up for stupid things that appeared to me to resemble personal insecurities on her part. Due to simple frustration the last time she called me in to write me up, the tears began to form and my voice cracked. She has backed off since then and has begun to pick on other employees now.

I cannot understand her.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by Nicks_Nose

Thank you Cocoabeans. My supervisor is difficult to understand. It almost seems that she purposefully needles at somebody until she emotionally breaks them, then, she backs off some. Each and every employee at this job, under her command, has had one moment when she has made each person cry in her office.

She does not speak in a mean way...she does not say offensive things...she just grates on one's nerves. She kept writing me up for stupid things that appeared to me to resemble personal insecurities on her part. Due to simple frustration the last time she called me in to write me up, the tears began to form and my voice cracked. She has backed off since then and has begun to pick on other employees now.

I cannot understand her.

Hi Nicks. I would follow the boss' directive but do it in my own way, and if she "catches" me doing it, I would give her the big innocent eyes and say I thought that was what the organization wants us to do, for example:

I would not nag employees, but I would catch them doing something right: "John, I appreciate your coming in on time. You're always ready to work."

I wouldn't nit-pick, but would redirect employees as necessary: "Sue, the Boss likes us to do Part B before Part A. The end result is we do get ABC done correctly" (or whatever the case may be. I find employees have difficulty following instructions that seem counter-intuitive; unfortunately where I work just about everything is counter-intuitive).

Employees like to feel appreciated. If you can arrange it so that the Boss knows you have genuine praise for their accomplishments, good. An email that copies both the employee and the Boss about a job well done is something both the Boss and the employee will find useful.

Now on to your boss' sadism. I work for someone similar although mine does use offensive language, nasty remarks, and is quite pointed in abusing people specifically, using things she has learned about them to upset them and basically torture them to tears. If the boss is using tasks related to work, try interrupting her and gently force her to stay on topic: "So what you are saying is you don't like this done on the pink form, but you want it on the blue? Ok, I will write that down and from now on use only the blue".

If she veers off into anything non-work related, gently but firmly cut her off at the knees. My boss tried to 'make me cry' by making me seem like the weirdo because I brought something to her. She started to go on and on about it until I interrupted her and pointed out that my concern was a legitimate one in keeping with the company's expressed values and that I should be able to bring it to her as my boss. I didn't get visibly upset. (I realized she not only wasn't going to do anything but use what I had brought to her as a club over my head so I let it drop at that).

That said, I don't bring anything to my boss unless I absolutely have to. She's the kind of person who looks for what she perceives to be weaknesses in people to use against them at a later date. If she senses people are shutting her out, she goads people until she gets them to the point of tears. I no longer fall for that crud. I either agree with her, shrug my shoulders, say "yeah, I have no answer for that" or whatever is the quickest way to head her off at the pass. She watches faces to see what effect she is having. I keep my expression level (frankly if my expression revealed how I feel about her, I would look like I smelled something heinous all the time.)

As far as being written up for stupid things, my boss has started a paper trail on me, but what she doesn't realize is that what she has written makes no sense. If for example, the boss were to say "Betty isn't nice to customers" any higher management worth its salt should be asking "HOW is Betty not nice to customers" and to the supervisor "and what are YOU doing to re-train Betty??)

Sorry for such a long answer. In conclusion I'd say do what the boss directs within the guidelines and values of your company and within your own guidelines of how to treat people. And never trust a person like her to be anything other than the sadistic snake she is, if she is indeed a sadistic snake.

[Nicks_Nose]

Thank you, IceCream. I appreciate your advice.

One of the things she called me up on was serving a customer before doing a task. In retail the golden rule is that if I am on cash and a customer comes to the cash, I take that customer over anything else...customer is always first. Anybody in restaurant or retail would agree to this. She had just told me of a task to do and I agreed to it but a customer had come to my cash before I could sign off so I serviced the customer first. As I was servicing the customer, she called another sales associate to come with her and she wrote me up for ignoring her.

I was going about my duties at the job, as usual, and things were running smoothly. I had no reason to page her and request any assistance from her. She kept paging me every half hour pulling me away from my duties ot ask what I was doing. Another coworker was walking by and I asked her to help me with a chore I was doing at the time and my boss wrote me up for not calling her if I needed help with anything. It was as if she was personally feeling threatened because I was not falling all over her, asking for her input every second of my day. She downright "ordered" me to call her first if I needed anything. I was to report to her and only her. It was just a stupid little task.

Now that she has successfully gotten to me....she has turned to attacking other workers and seeing if I will rally with her in criticizing or nagging the other cashiers beneath me now. I pulled one cashier aside and told her what a great job she is doing just to combat the negativity this one boss is pushing on her. The boss will pull me aside and whisper for me to "keep an eye on her" she needs constant supervision. Yet this girl is a fine worker.

The boss tells me I am not strong enough of a leader if I am not criticizing everybody and getting on their butts all the time like she does. I believe more in encouraging work crew not stomping on them.

[IceCreamKid]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I'm not sure what your boss' problem is. I'd document everything. She doesn't sound right.