Fast Food :(

People are so rude! I have social anxiety and I can't take it much longer. Does anyone know any good ways to cope with the severe stress and annoyance I'm feeling. Rude people make me so angry and everything is so rushed that my head races and my breathing is strained and I can't think! I have to keep this job but it's driving me to the point where I feel like I'm headed for an emotional and mental breakdown. Even the smallest comment or criticism about my work drives me crazy! I got written up today and I'm just wore down and freaking out.

Well, if you leave a fast food job because of stress, you'll never be able to function in a real job.

Trick is to put it in perspective, didn't get the order right? So what, it is just a burger. Someone was rude to you? That is their problem. It is just a burger.

In the grand scheme of things, your job and quality of your work does not matter. Sure, go in and work but, don't stress. It isn't like you're saving lives or even providing valuable service. Youre making burgers for hungry people being lazy.

It is just flipping burgers.

It isn't that involved, challenging or detailed. It matters to no one nor should it.

It is just a burger. It will be eaten in 5 minutes and forgotten.

I would say, these days it is hard finding any job. But if there were more jobs around you so can function in a real job even if fast food is too stressful for you. There are other types of jobs that requires other skills than being outgoing and able to multitask, jobs that require things like intelligence, creativity, being hard working and so on...

Fast food was the worst job I've had, especially since I have anxiety and working in a big city.
People are rude, they don't care about your feelings, to them, I was just a young inexperienced worker that anyone can just come in - and take their frustration out on me, I'm not going to lie. Don't let it get to you, if you're in the front and show your emotions to the customer, they will take it wrong and might complain. I do'nt know if this helps, but I "devalued" working at fast food, that made me more relaxed coming in - I know that's weird.

I'm not very good with criticism myself, and I'm sure working with the public like you do would be hard for me. However, here, I hope, are some thoughts that might help. 1) These people don't know you personally. 2) They are hungry and so are likely more irritable and harder to please as a result. 3) They like their food a certain way. It might be weird, but that's them. 4) Sometimes they might gripe about something that's not your fault. You are a convenient scapegoat. If it wasn't your fault, then you might want to mentally fuss at whoever really deserved it. 5) Learn from mistakes that are your fault. Sometimes people actually are trying to help when they point out things we can do better. 6) You do have a job, and people might think working at a fast-food place is not good, but it's better than no job and you ARE doing people a service. I really should thank folks like you more often, because I know it's hard to do and I'm glad you're doing it.

Yes, most jobs require more than talking to others and a little bit of multitasking but, all jobs require dealing with others and multitasking skills. If you can't handle something as basic and simple as a fast food job because it is "too stressful", how do you handle a job that requires multiple skill sets or has real impact and responsibility? You can't.

Blaming an anxiety or any other psychological or psychiatric disorder or using stress as an excuse to fail at fast foods sets you up for failure.

Uncomfortable? Anxious? Scared? Panicking? Hearing voices? Convinced your customer is stealing your thoughts? Tricking you somehow? So what! Learn to cope so you can be ready for the next challenge.

And don't go saying that it isn't that easy, woe is me silliness, I've been there. Went from having a panic attack every time I left my room to international travel, why? Because the only way someone can get over irrational fears like social anxiety is doing what scares them.

Have I gone to work psychotic? Yep! Why? Had to pay bills and mental illness isn't an excuse especially with something as basic as fast food.

When no one else is going to take care of you and no one else can, you do what you need to no matter how frightening or uncomfortable!

Oh and heaven forbid you tell a prospective employer you left fast food because of an "emotional breakdown" or "stress"!

A REAL job?????!!! A REAL JOB??!!?? I would love to see some of the "real" workers in this world put behind some of the fast food counters and handle the crap from both the public and management that these employees go through each and everyday. It is not just flipping burgers. You have to have excellent people skills. You have to have excellent multitasking skills. You have to be able to handle fast pace workloads, noise decibels of machinery, screaming children, physical health and safety risks.You have to have problem solving skills and be able to diffuse conflict situations that could worsen. Depending on the hours of work...drunks coming in, robbery threats.

You want a real job....get your hands dirty in fast food for a few years, hun.

You aren't alone. I work at a local fast food restaurant as an intermediate level employee (that odd level between entry and management) during the summer. It sucks, it's stressful, and more than once I've wanted to tell a customer exactly what they can do with their burger or supersized combo or whatever.

But do keep things in perspective. Customer 418 didn't get their burger without (your condiment here!). Customer 322 got a Dr. Pepper instead of a Coke. Heaven forbid, you forgot customer 251's fries. It's okay! You'll take some flak for it, sure, but the best you can do is try not to let it happen again. It's unreasonable to expect perfect performance from yourself...heck, I got promoted and I still get backed up on drive through on busy days (granted we're understaffing drive, but that's neither here nor there). The best thing you can do is try to relax, try to do your job to the best of your ability, and if you do make a mistake, show the customer/your boss that you understand the mistake and will make every effort to correct it yourself. That ultimately will serve you better than stressing yourself over it.

I hope I was of some help. Good luck!

I have. I'd even go out and say a lot, if not most people with adult jobs once worked fast food or something similar as teenagers.

A fast food job is barely even work at all (sure standing up for 8 hours is tiring and a beeping frying or drunk is annoying) but, hey if requirements for basic multitasking, barely any problem solving and the bare minimum of people skills keeps you challenged, every world needs its workers.

There is a reason these types of jobs and fast food chains are often given and supervised by teenagers.

If superior and excellent skills were actually required, would an 18 year old student or drop out really be capable of effectively completing the duties of a shift supervisor? Obviously not.

But again, if it challenges you, great. I do like to get fries with that sometimes.

You are so right. Some people are very rude. I would definitely look for a different job. Something in a quieter enviornment. Especially if you struggle with social anxiety.

Perhaps an entry level position at a law firm or at a doctor's office assisting in the back office (you may have to put up with the occasional melt-down from a partner, but it's much easier on your nerves than having hypoglycemic, demanding people in your face for hours on end each day).

*Be aware, though, just because you are working for "professionals" certainly doesn't mean you will be immune to aggressive, rude, inappropriate types of behavior. Hopefully, though, the "bad" behavior will be less frequent and you won't have to deal with the general public getting on your last nerve. Plus, it won't be a test of how much abuse you can endure

Best wishes to you! Let us know how you are doing.

Disdain is worse than useless. It's toxic, erosive, mean-spirited and counterproductive.

People are people, and no less so (and no less adult) for doing whatever honest work it is that puts food on the table. It's been my observation over the years that many people are rude (especially to people in service jobs) because:
A) it's a place where they feel free to vent misdirected anger because they can get away with it, knowing the target "has" to put up with it and
B) think it makes them look superior.

It doesn't.

It's true what they say about the wisdom of observing how a suitor treats a server in a restaurant...

Hey, xxxispillcoffeexxxx! I spill coffee too!
I can only think of a couple of other ideas to add at the moment. One thing with social anxiety is a discomfort with the immediacy of conversation, yes? (As opposed to, say, email, where you get more time to think what you'd like to say.) If that is the case for you, try to note how many times "stock" lines can be fallen back upon. Realizing that the wheel doesn't need to be invented anew in every encounter can go a long way in taking the pressure off. The second one I've found not only helpful, but amusing(!) Switch your brain to therapist mode. Nope, no need to counsel, just detach yourself to a point of being an observer of human behavior. It helps in making it feel less like personal attack. The majority of the time it is their problem. They're just projecting onto others. I can remember one boss in particular who had a special knack for projecting like a mofo and making everyone feel like crap and frankly, as if they were incompetent (though they were far from). Guess who made the most errors? By a mile. Yeah. Being able to step back to a more objective place was a huge help in not taking the unwarranted comments to heart. (Some unpleasant criticisms are warranted. Own those, make the error right if you can, then move on.) Not willing to fall victim to his behavior, I simply detached to being able to see him as an "interesting case study". I didn't need to feel intimidated, or butt heads or hate him. I was too busy watching psychology in 3-D technicolor action. Does this mean I ceased to see him as a person? Not at all. It actually helped me through the worst behavior, to keep my head clearer for other interactions instead of being lost in obsessing or feeling wounded.

Oh, wait! There is one more. When you punch out at the end of the day, take a deep breath and leave it there. That tends to be one of the perks of hourly work. You don't have to take it home with you.

I don't think it is blaming anything. Having social anxiety IS a real problem that can be a disability. I'm stunned someone who actually is mentally ill, themselves have this PULL YOUR SELF UP BY THE BOOTSTRAPS attitude. Or is it bitterness talking..?

Working in fast food ISN'T the easiest job on the market just because teens do it and it has crap pay. I'm sorry, but you confuse the low status of the job with the actual work input. Salt mines, coal mines were also not well paid, but was that an easy job? You think?

I've had many different kinds of jobs, and the way I personally function, I find being behind the registry as the hardest, and then I had jobs needing a lot more education, which were easier FOR ME ans an individual. Right now I work with animals and for me that is easy, even if those who don't have a good hand with animals would find it incredibly hard. We're all individuals with different types of skills.

You seem to think since you had to work psychotic, people should just suck it up. And not feel. Not have a breaking point. Not having weakness, because that is silly. Should just work harder, and accept it's hard? Well, everyone isn't superman. Some people aren't hardened, they might need a moral boost, and actually kind words to be urged to keep up the good fight.

Instead of a crappy, cynical, bitter attitude of SUCK IT UP.

You're right, everyone isn't superman. Not everyone can learn to cope with their mental disorders or move on to do things more challenging than unskilled fast food work.

We are not created equal. You are not a unique snowflake either.

Telling people it isn't their fault or that they're disabled is discouraging especially when it comes to anxiety issues where such advice can encourage worse anxiety.

And of course, I'm assuming OP is capable and doesn't want to work in fast food/unskilled labour 'til death, wants to succeed/keep the job for now as it pays bills.

Learning to "suck it up" is coping and adapting which are valuable skills.

Yes, I'm still disagreeing with you completely that fast food is a very challenging or valuable work that contributes to more than a grilled burger and no, I'm not confusing low status with ease of the job. Please refer to my previous posts for clarification.

No thanx, had enough of this.

I'd rather speak to more positive and constructive people.

Cheers.

cocoabeans, insofar as you might consider engineering a real job ... it has more responsibility but I really wouldn't call it much more stressful, and I have more than enough to do! No matter what you're doing, you're doing the best you can, and there are crappy situations anyway.

You are kind of being needlessly harsh and I don't know what your deal is. I had freak out moments much more often in fast food than I do now in engineering. At least in a "real job" you get the mercy of generally dealing with coworkers and customers who are more emotionally mature and professional.

I realize that I am providing a service for other people; I deliberately "take" their rudeness, it isn't directed at me, they don't know me, and I try to return something calming and pleasant. Practice "Oh! I'm sorry!" and smiling at the person while you work to make whatever problem they may be experiencing, right. Attitudes are contagious; you are stressed because you work in a stressful environment, with rude customers. Work to block all that out and "play" with practicing calm, quiet pleasantness and see how many interactions you can "turn around". Keep score with yourself, make it a fun game

I agree. I work in a call center now and in a way, it helps that I don't have to actually see the person. But it can be more difficult to communicate with the customer because I cannot rely on nonverbal cues. I really have to watch my tone and demeanor. (Not saying that you don't in face to face interactions, I'm just saying that talking to someone face to face really helps you to get your point across. It's not impossible though, far from it.)

But I do the same thing that Perna suggested. I try to turn it into a game in which I can try to "turn around" the situation and end up with a happy customer. You won't always win. But the more practice you get, the better you will become with your social interactions. That's an invaluable skill that you can utilize in future positions. Good luck!

Cocoabeans,

I had a huge reaction when I read you posts. I disagree with you. I am a supervisor at a large non profit organization that helps kids with special needs. It can be stressful in that I deal with family satisfaction issues, staff issues, and helping staff deal with difficult behaviors if the kids we work with.

All that being said, I could never (and have never) work in fast food for several reasons. And because of that, I have respect for people who do. I have social anxiety, especially with groups of people. There is no way I would be able to handle fast food during the meal time rushes. I am also a perfectionist. With the fast pace and high number of people served, it is likely that multiple mistakes will be made daily. That would greatly increase my anxiety and further decrease my self-confidence and self-esteem. I also suffer from major depression, and during bad episodes, it is very hard to work at a fast pace or be around a lot of people.

I am happy with my career because I don't need some of the skills I would need if I was in fast food. Different jobs require different skill sets. I am successful with my job because it fits me. I would NOT be successful in fast food. I feel as though your posts have been very judgmental and discouraging towards the original poster and anyone else in entry level positions. What stresses out someone is different from person to person. For example, fast food/retail would stress me, but being a supervisor and working in a research lab (my degree is in biology, so I worked in a lab before becoming a supervisor at the non profit) is much less stressful. For others, the opposite may be true.

I did work behind the counter at a small store where my specialty was making milkshakes. So, I know just a little about what working in a fast food place might be like. I also worked as a bus girl in a cafeteria. My feet and back were killing me after a month or two!

I think we have not mentioned one aspect of such a job. That is, the clock is literally ticking. Workers are required to get the job done as fast as they can. Frankly, people who are pains can cut into the average time service is provided. In most organizations, people might have deadlines, but they aren't quite that pressured. (I was a full-time college professor for a number of years, and I'm not sure I could do a fast-food job.) Perhaps younger people often get these jobs because they tend to have faster reaction times.

Whether someone can do such a job effectively depends on their mental disorders and the severity of them. We can't literally get into someone's brain to know for sure what he/she is coping with.

If this job is making you miserable, "coffee spiller" (I almost poured hot water in an old lady's lap when I was a bus girl), then I suggest you put your name in the pot for some other jobs. In this day's market, I wouldn't quit unless I have another job in hand. Meanwhile, try to take a more blase attitude in a sense about things. In other words, just remember that you are trying to get folks fed. Yes, you won't please everyone, but try to smile and do the best you can. Don't take it so personally. Getting stressed out doesn't help any of our mental disorders.

If you do end up leaving, then don't tell them it's because of some mental disorder. I'm not exactly saying to lie, but be careful what you say.

All right?

There will be a couple of people who are just plain ignorant, and will refuse to show minimum courtesy and critisize everything - those people are miserable jerks. There are understanding people out there, give them a smile. Don't let rude people drive you crazy because it's not you, they probably have constipation. There is a lack of compassion and basic courtesy in some people with illnesses too. Maybe you're feeling burn-out, it happens from time to time, let us know how you're doing

Way to tell em nicksnose. Fast food is probably one of the more stressful positions there is and a very honorable one at that!!

Miss I Spill Coffee,

I too, have spilled coffee, broken plates, messed up orders, scarred myself multiple times with the same hot pan, lost a few bucks, had plenty of customers yell at me for both good and bad reasons, got mad at customers for good and bad reasons, graduated to banking and then lost a few hundred MORE dollars, yelled back at customers, cried in the break room, wracked my brain on how to try and handle things better long after work was over.........
....And I consider myself recovered from social anxiety. Haha.
You are SO not alone.
The retail service industry is just bonkers sometimes, it can frustrate even the most fortified of people.

Don't worry about the write up. I know it seems like a huge punishment, but its only meant to scare you into making your work better. Sometimes these write ups are justified, but sometimes they are not. I wouldn't say managers in fast food are good at coaching those who are new to the work force. My only advice for you to handle the issues at hand is to go slowly. Even in "fast" food, its better to go slowly and be "perfect", than to go fast and make mistakes. [Sidenote: In interviewing for accounting jobs, I got used to saying this because it was true and no one held it against me. In food service I said the same thing, and they too didn't hold it against me. The people in charge want to see that you know how to get yourself to not make mistakes. Maybe your coworkers won't understand why you are slower than everyone else but they aren't the one paying you are they? Of course I realize the futility in saying this to someone who suffers from social anxiety, but this is something you should try very hard to beat into your brain now: Its about what your boss wants, more than your coworkers. Your anxiety will be bad with coworkers, but far worse with an angry boss]. Get used to repeating back orders so both parties understand what is being asked for, this will ultimately cover your butt. And smile and try to be apologetic in a sincere way, people will soften up if you give them sugar. You DO have the control to steer a bad situation into a better place, you just don't know it yet.

By the way, you don't necessarily need this job. Do you? If you are afraid you will continue to struggle with the clientele and work environment, perhaps while you are still employed and working on developing your "Work slow-be perfect-no exceptions" ability, maybe it would be best to seek work at another establishment who may have less angry clients. Maybe working as a cashier in a quiet place like a CVS or a library or something would be an improvement. Maybe you can stock clothing at a Khols. There are options. If they ask about your current performance at your job and why you want to find a new job, don't worry!! Theres an explanation for everything aside from your social anxiety. You can say that you are learning you do some things well, but there are some things you don't do as well, and while you are trying to improve upon those things you are trying to apply to jobs that let you do more of what you find you do well. Be nice to yourself and try and think of what you do well! [Working quietly and diligently by yourself? Think about it!] There is something, always.

By the way, if you continue to struggle and get write ups, don't think that you will forever have to explain for the rest of your life why you couldn't perform well at a fast food joint. Everybody needs to make mistakes to learn what they are and aren't good at, you just have to make sure that you've learned something along the way [this is ok especially as you sound like a young person]. You can find better work, you can make the moves NOW to promise your future self that you will never have to deal with work like this again. Do try and anticipate future anxiety though: If you go to another job, there will be something imperfect about it. NO job is perfect. Maybe your boss is annoying and makes you nervous. Maybe your coworkers gossip and that makes you uncomfortable. Maybe your customers yell for no good reason. Maybe you're even just bored. Just bear in mind, it will NEVER be perfect. Ever. But the good news is that there are jobs out there that would be good for introverted people. You can at least be in better control of where you work if you get to know what would be good for you and your ability now that you are learning a little bit about your strengths and weaknesses [don't forget about learning about your strengths!!]. While you are young you should learn what you can do well so you don't end up in this type of job again after you complete a career oriented education or go seeking another job.

Good luck, everything will be fine!! Its seems like it won't ever be fine but it will get better.

I'm a high school drop out who worked fast food and ended becoming store manager by the time I was 20. You must think a high school diploma somehow makes you smarter than someone without a diploma. I dropped out to help my mom take care of my baby sister who had cancer. Stop putting down people who work fast food and acting like it isn't a real job, fast food work is a very hard and stressful job to have especially for someone who suffers from any mental illness. I suffer from bipolar disorder and social anxiety disorder and without medication I wouldn't have been able to do it. Mental illness of any kind isn't a joke and shouldn't be taken lightly. I have survived 2 suicide attempts and those thoughts even with medications never go away, we fight with our minds daily and its both mentally and physically exhausting