Help for the Helper

Hey folks,

This is my first post here at PsychCentral, and I am looking forward to reading about others struggles, strengths, and insights.

About myself, I am approaching graduation from a social work program (bachelor's level) at my local university, and have some concerns about managing myself as a professional when I enter the workforce. I would greatly appreciate some feedback.

I am concerned about how I will manage as a social worker when I struggle with anxiety and feelings of inadequacy. I often doubt my abilities to help others because I have so many pressing problems of my own. I wonder if my anxiety and sense of self worth will be visible to those I will be helping, and how that would affect their experience in our therapeutic relationship.

I also wonder how I can remain passionate about helping others when I encounter so many jaded individuals who predict with confidence that recent graduates will lose their flame and resign.

Any thoughts?

Hi Bridges, welcome to PC.
Just wanted to say congrats on getting your degree, that's great.

I read somewhere that about a third of therapists and social workers are in therapy themselves. (Correct me if I'm wrong on the statistic) So I wouldn't worry about it. Maybe you can talk to your professors about this. I'm sure that they would have some great advice for you. If you really feel that strongly about it, perhaps you might want to consider seeing a therapist as well to work through your anxiety. There's no shame in asking for help.

I think we ALL struggle with feelings of inadequacy, etc...I am a 66 year old undergraduate in social work, and have been working like a Trojan for over 15 years to get the message out there regarding verbal abuse. I just presented (Society's Hidden Pandemic, Verbal Abuse Precursor to Physical Violence and a Form of Biochemical Assault) at the Michigan Counseling Association. My first credential.....I only have 7 general ed. classes so far, but I have life experience and am the moderator of an abused survivors' group on-line.

I think we wounded healers are the best to be in these professions; we can relate.........it makes us human and compassionate. If you would like to talk further, just pm me! Hugs, Nicole

Its comforting to know how common feelings of inadequacy are. It seems like common sense that I would not be one of the few that feel this way, but becomes more of a reality when others explicitly share these feelings.

Nicole, I would love to know more about you work around verbal abuse, especially your recent presentation. Could you share more about that here on this thread or through a private message? I also share this interest and would love to learn more.

Welcome to PC! I love this forum - everyone is super supportive!

I just started a MSW program and I have similar fears. I'm also concerned that my clients will be able to pick up on my insecurities as well as my own mental health struggles. I have a friend who has similar issues as me who is working as a social worker and is great at her job. One thing she says that helps her is learning how to compartmentalize - to leave her own issues and insecurities at home. Much easier said than done though.

Also, I think/hope that the feelings of insecurity will lessen when we gain more experience. I think to a certain extent that feeling is common, especially in new grads.

I think a certain degree of anxiety is a good thing when dealing with the lives of other people, Bridges. I suppose it can be considered a lot like a test. You only do well when you care about whether you're going to do well or not. Beyond that though, that insecurity becomes an issue that affects your performance.

I hear and understand your concern though. It's hard. It's a lot of responsibility. It's important to note, I think, that the best counselors I know have counselors of their own. I think it's important to design a support system that will not only help you do your job, but help you excel. I think you're being very responsible in dealing with how you feel in a positive way and establishing a network that will help you be who you need to be for your clients.

As for burnout. If I can be candid for a moment, being achievement oriented can be a bad thing. Graduating is all well and good, but at the same time it has to be accompanied by other strategies to fulfill those achievement needs. For the most part, and this is just my opinion, some who achieve because they feel it will make them happy to achieve end up being unhappy with the result.

I don't think it's fair to use the metaphor of life as an uphill battle, but in some ways it is. You have to learn to love the climb as well as the completion of the goal. One of my professors said the worst part of his education was his graduation: he had worked so hard to get his Ph.D. that when he finally got there he felt lost and a little betrayed. He didn't feel any smarter than before, and still had bigger problems, and bigger responsibilities to deal with.

Education, and achievement, is a life-long process. I would dare to say that the value of the result is what substantial affects we have on the lives of others. I think my friend would agree.

Hi Bridges - welcome. Did you draw that picture under your name?

I think it will make you a more empathic social worker, and that is a good thing. Make sure you take good care of yourself, and keep working on your own issues... you don't have to have perfect mental health to be helpful to other people, but you definitely need to be aware of your own blind spots and especially how your own issues affect your relationships with your clients or how you hear the things they say, etc.
Same goes for burn out, keep some awareness about it, and make a point of creating balance in your life - make sure you do lots of things that are nurturing and rejuvenating for yourself.
Good luck!

I work in the helping field. Helpers can only walk with people as far as they have walked themselves.Beyond that there is only two lost and wounded people.

For those of you in or entering the field, there is a social group here at PC for mental health professionals. Please consider joining the group. We have discussions of the sort of things you mention here.

Bridges, in my opinion, the one key to not becoming jaded is to have good boundaries. Someone mentioned compartmentalizing, that's a great skill. Part of the learning process in the field is learning how to leave work at work. As mentioned, talk to your profs about this. Another part of not becoming jaded is good self-care. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. If that means seeing a therapist, by all means see a therapist.

Someone mentioned feeling inadequate. Personal story, my state requires two years post-graduate school supervision before you can become licensed. First supervision session after I got my diploma, I told my supervisor I was scared silly because I just realized how much I didn't know. She smiled and said "And that's why you have to have two years supervision. You are developmentally right where you ought to be." We had a good conversation about how good budding therapists know their limitations and how scary the "know it all" recent graduates are.

I am surprised by the amount of responses! Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom.
I am going to summarize these words and keep them in my 'tool box'.

It is useful to Compartmentalize - to leave personal issues at home so that they do not interfere with relationships with clients or else there will be two lost and wounded people in therapy. This can be done by designing a Support System, which can include seeing a Therapist myself.
I need to keep in mind that being Achievement Oriented can lead to disappointment, so I should learn to Love the Climb as well as the Completion of the Goal. Along the climb I need to be aware of my Blind Spots, normalize anxiety and remember that others, no matter how experienced feel inadequate at times.

Truly appreciative for these words!

Does anyone know where this group is? I'm having a hard time finding it.

Thanks!

If you scroll w-a-y down the list of forums you'll find a group called "social group forums". It's in that list.

Try this link...

http://forums.psychcentral.com/forumdisplay.php?f=106

I still couldn't find it on the list. I found the "social group forums" subsection (with groups like "Adopt a 'Mom'", "Eating Disorders Recovery", etc), but couldn't find the mental health professionals one. When I tried clicking on the link, I got an error msg that my "Your user account may not have sufficient privileges to access this page".

I can't remember, maybe you have to have permission to join the group. I'll PM the person who started the group to make her aware there are folks in this thread who would like to join.

++++

I PM'd the person. Did you try clicking on the line under the forum name that says "join this group"?

A person has to be a member here at Psych Central for a bit before they can join any social group.

Thanks, I just joined!