Fear and Loathing in the Workplace

My fears and anxieties are really creating a problem for me at work. I don't think my anger comes from any real circumstance at work but from free-floating anxieties(?) which I rationalize into humiliation and doubt. How can I even begin to talk to my employer about this?
"Hi. I don't want you to think I'm crazy, but I'm crazy."
I don't even know who I should talk to, I work at a very small company and there is no "H.R."

What is really going on at work? What are the REAL circumstances? Do you not like the work? Do you not understand the work? Do you need help?
What's going on?

Are you having trouble with co-workers?

Is one person giving you trouble?

Are they "ganging up" on you?

It can be difficult when you work at a small company. Sometimes co-workers can gang up on another worker, and it makes that person feel like an "outsider." That's happened to me before, and it really caused anxiety and anger.

So tell us -- what is going on?

This company is a retirement "hobby" for a guy who doesn't know what to do with his time or money.
I do not like the work, but I can do it and I can't afford to be unemployed.
I understand the work.
Not with the work.
There's never enough money for payroll and all I ever hear is I don't do enough.
Thankfully no.
Yes, he owns the company.
No, nothing like that.
I've always been an outsider. I try to live with it but I can't make a living as an outsider.

>There's never enough money for payroll and all I ever hear is I don't do enough.

Hmm, so you don't have a formal job description, because it's a small company. So, you are blamed for not doing the impossible, the catch-all? And there is a problem getting paid because the company is not focused enough on its financial results? Sounds like you might need a new job.

That about covers it. But with no money in savings and no other jobs available I just have to shut up and take what I can get. Now it's true that a man who can't find work just isn't looking, but I need to make a living.

It's happening again!
Just finished the month, we're in the black (as far as I know) and it's not good enough!

Does the owner also act the same way with others? Meaning, does anyone do enough?

When you mentioned, that there isn't enough money for payroll, are you getting paid on-time?

No one does enough according to this guy. And everybody's to blame but him.
I get a check on time but it doesn't always match the hours I've put in. I have it lucky compared to the sales people. The accounting is always weird in sales. :/

The pay doesn't always match the hours worked?

That doesn't sound like Fair Labor to me.

[quote=healingme4me;3100333]The pay doesn't always match the hours worked?

You're legally entitled to be paid for the hours you work, including overtime if you're an hourly employee. Does the missing pay get made up in a future check?

"Legally" is for people who can afford it. I'm a sick old man living paycheck to paycheck.

Is there no labour authority in your state? There must be someone who can help you get your rightful pay.

Sometimes the depression takes over and I write things the wrong way. I don't see how I can take legal action and still pay my bills. I don't have any new work lined up.

Well, contacting the labour authority isn't quite legal action. But you do need to find something else, it seems. I know it's very hard. I'm over 50 and need new work also.

The kind of thing that's happening to you and to sales is exactly what got my last employer unionized.

I re-activated my registration with the county employment center. They have resources for finding work.

DO NOT talk to your employer about this. The brutal reality is they will not be interested in your situation and may, out of fear ,try to replace you. If your employment has health insurance, use it. Otherwise, a free clinic, 800 help lines, or county health may be the way to go. This web site seem to be a good start to let some of that fear and anxiety out. Be strong, be cool at work. You need the job. Without it, your fear and anxiety will really take off. Good Luck

Moving forward with health insurance. There's a possibility some form of therapy might be covered.

If you are living in the US, each state has some form of labor watch dog. If your hours do not match your check you file a complaint with them.

Our state is pretty liberal and pro employer and they're strict. If my boss asks me to pick up donuts on the way to work, she has to pay me from the time I leave my house. Even though I live less than a mile from work and the bakery is on the way.

Ironically though, if the payroll checks bounce it's a civil issue. If I bounce a check it's a criminal issue, but payroll checks are civil. Go figure.

I know about the small "hobby" business and nothing being good enough for the boss.

What do you do when you are not working? Do you have any contacts in competitor/client companies of yours, belong to any professional groups? You sound like you are good at what you do and that's always valued. Is there anything you can learn from where you are (all the stuff you aren't doing enough of to suit your boss, do you ever do it to see how much you could do if you wanted or get creative thoughts on ways to help the company -- I use to read the industry magazines, for example, and think of articles I could write), what "fantasies" do you have and can you use them to help you slide into a better or more secure job?

I'm in my 60's and retired; so sorry you are where you are, I don't envy you. Good luck!

You are not crazy. You have reason to be angry, you and your coworkers are being treated badly, and you have reason to be anxious, your resources are low---if you can get some support through therapy that would be good---just, at least, someone to talk to.
....and, I am a few paychecks from the street myself despite having a profession that will, so far keep giving me work, till I drop dead---but I am finding it hard to deal with; in general, I think the fall of the labor unions and the blame-the-victim mentality in this society has taken a great toll on the young and the old...I wonder how we can support each other.......

If your anger and anxieties are not work related, DO NOT talk to your employer or any H>R> about it. Your employer is only concerned about six things from you 1. Attendence 2. Punctuality 3. General Appearance 4.
Working Safely 5. External/Internal Concerns about you 6. Are you doing the job ?. Your mental state is none of their business. If you have a health plan, USE IT. IF not, seek out a free clinic, continue posting here for support, seek out an 800 help line. When confronted with people like you and me, companies get nervous. You become a possible liability, and they may try to dispose of you. Small companies don't want problem employees even though they tend to want to foster a "family" atmosphere. They are totally inept at dealing with our level of problems. It would be a major distraction from their main goal.... turning a profit. Remember, you are expendable. Seek help elseware. Good Luck