[JusABoxOfChocolates]

I am so glad I stumbled on this site. I'm hopeful I can gather my feelings and find some direction. I have been in a struggle for some time and today as it's all come to a head within I just don't know how to handle what's going on.

Here goes trying to explain. I'll be as brief as I can, may be hard though so I apologize in advance.

I just read a good article here titled "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and realized this is my co-worker. She takes it to the next level and manipulates then enlists other women to join in. Problem is they don't even know it.

I have become her target going back some time and now it's come to a point where I just sit and cry. It's also as if she gets enjoyment out of hurting me. She is smart and very selective in her timing for her mind games and in the next breath is all happy like she just saved the world. I'm not from the USA but from a different western country so I'm trying to determine if that's why I've become her target, I don't have thick skin, or possibly because I get on with everyone around me and she doesn't have control over that. I know it's not just a simple case of jealousy as she has had issues with many others. It's like everyone's scared of her and tip toes around to avoid the wrath.

Maybe this is my queue to move on and find other employment. I love my job and the other people I work with so I don't want to leave but maybe I should for my own sanity?

I don't know what to do. I have become so unhappy living here. Is it time to move on? How do I know know it's time?

[0w6c379]

I am so, so, sorry for you. I understand the predicament very well. I'm not sure of the best way to handle it myself. I do have some ideas though. Does your company have an EEO office? You might try reporting her to them. Or, you might try speaking with HER boss. This is very unfair that she is targeting you and I know how much that hurts. Will any of the other people in the office support you? Will they admit that she has enlisted their aid in attacking you?

Can you ask for a transfer? SHE should not get away with this. SHE should leave, not you. Your sanity is important and must be protected at all costs. Speak to someone at your company and ask for help in dealing with this. Speak to a few people. If you get no satisfaction then you may have to leave. I hope someone else here will have some suggestions. I'll be looking too.

[healingme4me]

If there's anything I've learned in the workforce, is that no matter where you go, there's always something new to deal with.

Yes, you do need to look out for yourself and your own peace of mind. At the same time, this may not be the only time in life, you'll come across someone who fits this type of personality profile.

One thing, you can do, is work on your ability to detach from manipulation, becoming so self aware and self confident, that no matter what type of person comes your way, you can pick up on the clues and know how to handle each situation that comes your way.

I don't feel, that tossing in the metaphorical towel, will be the solution to this dilemma. If there is this much research and books out on narcissism, it stands to reason, that there is a chance, you'll come across this type of person somewhere else.

Do you like what you do? Is it enough to earn a fair living? Where will running from narcissism, get you, 5, 10, 15 years from now?

Hang in there.

[eggsinfinitum]

So sorry to hear you are in this situation. I really like what healingme4me says, it makes sense. I could type a book here, because I've been in this exact situation, so maybe I can give you some hope because I did learn how to detach from manipulation & become more self-aware, and now I feel so much better about myself, plus I get along so much better with people in general.

I started by reading a book on verbal self-defense. There are many, but I like the one by Suzette Haden Elgin- she's very practical and she includes all kinds of info on communication that I had no idea existed.

There's lots of other things I did, but it's not the kind of thing you can make a to-do list for, it's emotional work that starts with you and what you think of yourself and how you relate to others, etc. I am by no means an expert, I just know that it is possible to change your situation for the better, so take heart!

There are lots of blogs on this site that have helped me tremendously - topics like conscious communication, emotional fitness, managing emotions, etc- the series on crime scenes blew my mind, very helpful.

Hope this helps. Take care & hugs!