[julie234332]

Hi everyone. I just started my summer job a few weeks ago. I work with 5 girls behind a big desk all day. My first day of work, I noticed these girls seemed close and friendly, considering they have been working with one another for a while. They all greeted me politely and introduced themselves, instead of one girl. She is two years older than me and we have never met before or have even heard of each other. She barely introduced or herself or said "Hi", even though I was trying to make an effort to become friendly. I was asking her simple questions to get to know her and she would answer with one word and not ask me anything about myself. It was not busy so I know she was not stressed. She was also being friendly and nice towards our coworkers and the customers. I know she is not shy around me because once in a while, she becomes snappy towards me if I make mistakes which are completely normal for a new employee. She has been acting like this since the day she met me. I do not think she is threatened by me because I am only working here for the summer. She works here full-time. I am a college student. She already graduated college two years ago.

I am guessing that maybe she dislikes me because I am considered to be attractive and thin and she is average, looks wise. The other girls who work here are also average or below average in the looks department. But maybe those other girls are not the jealous type.

I cannot think of any legitimate reason of why she dislikes me. I now feel awkward asking her work related questions.

[julie234332]

also, what can I do to fix this?

The best advice I can share is to just be your lovely self. Try not to focus on her. You are workmates and that is all. It is nice to have work colleagues that are friendly and courteous. It makes the days go by much faster and work, of course, is more pleasant when everyone is getting along.

I have found, though, there will always be people that are unpleasant to be around. All sorts of personalities. Some pretty unsavory. But try to remind yourself it is all about them and their insecurities. It has nothing to do with you. Continue to be generous, kind, professional and just you. That is enough. If she has an issue that is her responsibility to work through.

That said, if she bullies you, is outright hostile, makes things uncomfortable for you or creates a situation that causes tension, if you feel comfortable speaking with her one on one it is worth a try. If she behaves unethically or illegally, document, and speak with speak with hr. Let them handle it. Remember it is their job to manage these things, including risk management.

Otherwise, just try to kill her with kindness.

Everywhere we go in life, whether it be work, family, social situations, etc, there will always be party poopers, difficult people and outright a-holes. It is their problem...not ours to fix. Or worry about. Not everyone will like us. She could be jealous. Remember that is her problem.

Best wishes to you at your summer job! Have fun

if you can, also, bring things to your work station that make you feel good! I like to have fresh flowers every week. Just a small bouquet. My favorite pen and of course my red edit pencils! Also a few pics that make you smile. I also don't don't eat sweets, but I have a little silver candy bowl with some treats for my colleagues to enjoy

Originally Posted by julie234332

Hi everyone. I just started my summer job a few weeks ago. I work with 5 girls behind a big desk all day. My first day of work, I noticed these girls seemed close and friendly, considering they have been working with one another for a while. They all greeted me politely and introduced themselves, instead of one girl. She is two years older than me and we have never met before or have even heard of each other. She barely introduced or herself or said "Hi", even though I was trying to make an effort to become friendly. I was asking her simple questions to get to know her and she would answer with one word and not ask me anything about myself. It was not busy so I know she was not stressed. She was also being friendly and nice towards our coworkers and the customers. I know she is not shy around me because once in a while, she becomes snappy towards me if I make mistakes which are completely normal for a new employee. She has been acting like this since the day she met me. I do not think she is threatened by me because I am only working here for the summer. She works here full-time. I am a college student. She already graduated college two years ago.

I am guessing that maybe she dislikes me because I am considered to be attractive and thin and she is average, looks wise. The other girls who work here are also average or below average in the looks department. But maybe those other girls are not the jealous type.

I cannot think of any legitimate reason of why she dislikes me. I now feel awkward asking her work related questions.

Dang, this woman seems pretty standoffish to me. I would not want to deal with her at all. Nah, just kidding. I think she might be jealous of you because of your attractiveness. People used to be jealous of me because I was always answering questions in class. These jerks can be very insidious sometimes. In the beginning, they were really nice to me, but then they grew less fond of me overtime. what a bunch of jerks.

I think there's gotta be a reason for this, definitely.

Originally Posted by Rose Panachée

The best advice I can share is to just be your lovely self. Try not to focus on her. You are workmates and that is all. It is nice to have work colleagues that are friendly and courteous. It makes the days go by much faster and work, of course, is more pleasant when everyone is getting along.

I have found, though, there will always be people that are unpleasant to be around. All sorts of personalities. Some pretty unsavory. But try to remind yourself it is all about them and their insecurities. It has nothing to do with you. Continue to be generous, kind, professional and just you. That is enough. If she has an issue that is her responsibility to work through.

That said, if she bullies you, is outright hostile, makes things uncomfortable for you or creates a situation that causes tension, if you feel comfortable speaking with her one on one it is worth a try. If she behaves unethically or illegally, document, and speak with speak with hr. Let them handle it. Remember it is their job to manage these things, including risk management.

Otherwise, just try to kill her with kindness.

Everywhere we go in life, whether it be work, family, social situations, etc, there will always be party poopers, difficult people and outright a-holes. It is their problem...not ours to fix. Or worry about. Not everyone will like us. She could be jealous. Remember that is her problem.

Best wishes to you at your summer job! Have fun

if you can, also, bring things to your work station that make you feel good! I like to have fresh flowers every week. Just a small bouquet. My favorite pen and of course my red edit pencils! Also a few pics that make you smile. I also don't don't eat sweets, but I have a little silver candy bowl with some treats for my colleagues to enjoy

I agree. who cares what the other person thinks about you? Once summer is over, you don't have to talk to her.

[jan16th]

Originally Posted by julie234332

Hi everyone. I just started my summer job a few weeks ago. I work with 5 girls behind a big desk all day. My first day of work, I noticed these girls seemed close and friendly, considering they have been working with one another for a while. They all greeted me politely and introduced themselves, instead of one girl. She is two years older than me and we have never met before or have even heard of each other. She barely introduced or herself or said "Hi", even though I was trying to make an effort to become friendly. I was asking her simple questions to get to know her and she would answer with one word and not ask me anything about myself. It was not busy so I know she was not stressed. She was also being friendly and nice towards our coworkers and the customers. I know she is not shy around me because once in a while, she becomes snappy towards me if I make mistakes which are completely normal for a new employee. She has been acting like this since the day she met me. I do not think she is threatened by me because I am only working here for the summer. She works here full-time. I am a college student. She already graduated college two years ago.

I am guessing that maybe she dislikes me because I am considered to be attractive and thin and she is average, looks wise. The other girls who work here are also average or below average in the looks department. But maybe those other girls are not the jealous type.

I cannot think of any legitimate reason of why she dislikes me. I now feel awkward asking her work related questions.

Her insecurities are her problem, not yours. I would simply continue to be pleasant and helpful whenever I can, and maybe aknowledge her experience with the job. It's only a summer job. No need to lock horns. On payday, as long as the check is good, keep "rolling" and don't get bogged down trying to figure out someone else's hang-ups. Enjoy the summer!!!

Some people, like myself, don't feel as though friendship is necessary with coworkers who are only going to be there for a few months, at most, unless they really connect. I try not to be rude to people, though. It takes a long time for me to warm up to new people, and it's not because of insecurities; that's just the way I am. A "friendship" that only last a month or so and that is only through the workplace isn't worth the trouble, IMO.

I am married with two kids and haven't gotten all the way through college yet. I can only work certain hours a week, nights 5pm to close. I only get to work with a few other people who can only work nights, and most of them are younger than me, are not married, don't have kids, still live with their parents, and are full-time college or high school students. There's not a lot to talk about, and they could quit at any time. So that's usually why I don't bother with new people.

If it bothers you so much, maybe ask her why she doesn't seem to like you. You might be missing something.